Who Wants To Be A Superhero : Lupin Edition
by Disco Ant
Summary: Ten Lupin characters play superhero to see who will win immortality. Chapter 27: The final battle between the superheroes and Disco Ant
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, blah blah blah, other people own the stuff, odd superhero names are mine, I think, I'm not sure because I'm just that sad, things stuff and other things and such.

**Author's Notes:** They already have the prize of immortality, but why not go for complete total immortality? (is that even possible?) My Who Wants To Be A Superhero/Lupin fanfic. Some of the names and outfits are taken from the Super Magical Lupin Adventure story. Poor Stan, having the task of sending some of these people home. xD

I wrote this chapter so long ago and never got around to putting it here. Now the show is over and I'll have to watch them online for any type of reference I need. xD It's not exact to the show, but it's close enough. Plus it works, mate.

**How it works:** Okay, so this is how the story will be. After the intro chapter, the following chapters will be posted in three parts, the small challenge, the big challenge and the elimination. After that it's up to the readers to vote on who will get kicked off or in the case of the last chapter, win. I would like if you voted on who you think did the worst or best and not who you like or hate as a character. I want this to be fun and am not writing this with one person favored. Before writing the big challenge, I use a number randomizer to pick the three to be put on the red blocks. (All the characters are numbered in my notebook and they will keep that same number throughout the story.) Then, using the character flaws already given to them in the anime, manga, whatever, I write it so they have a reason to be called up. It's then up to the reader to pick.

Voting will last 10 days. After that I will begin writing the next chapter, so I'm not sure how long it will be between posting. And then, the cycle will continue.

I know, it's goofy, but so far it's been fun writing it. So, hopefully you will enjoy reading. :3

* * *

**Introductions**

Ten contestants, all in their superhero outfits, lined up in the large auditorium, each awaiting to talk to comic legend Stan Lee.  
When the time came, each was to stand in front of a large screen, of which Stan appeared, and tell him about their superhero selves in less than five minutes.  
First up was Mamo, wearing a stunning replica of General Napoleon's outfit. He smirked at Stan.  
"Greetings, Superhero," Stan said with much enthusiasm. "Why don't you explain a little about yourself?"  
"I am God of Cloning, but you can call me God." He gave an evil little laugh.  
"Okay..." Stan looked a little unsure of the name.  
"I have the ability to clone anyone at anytime, although it will take years for them to be of any use. But still, it's very devious and God-like." He then put on his best evil face and laugh. "Oh yeah," he said quickly before leaving. "I also like kittens and ladybugs." He gave a cute face and skipped off.  
"Uh huh." Stan nodded slowly, hoping the next person would be better. His hopes faded as Zenigata walked up.  
He wore a girl scouts outfit and blond wig, four boxes of cookies tucked under his arm. He went right into his intro, not giving Stan enough time to speak.  
"I am Bringer of Sweet Magical Tasty Cookies. Not only are these cookies good to eat, but with just a flick of the wrist they become lethal weapons."  
He opened a box of Do-Si-Dos and grabbed a handful, flinging them around with excellent precision as random people were hit in the head and knocked out.  
"That's fine," Stan said hurriedly, hoping no one was killed by the demonstration.  
Zenigata nodded, standing at attention before walking off.  
Next up was Mr. X, dressed in a silver buttoned up labcoat, black pants and silver boots. "I am Angry Guy of Anger," he said with a voice of authority and a sneer. "I get angry and invent ways to kill those who anger me. DO NOT get me angry!" he warned Stan before walking off.  
Stan sighed, giving up on the show altogether, but sticking around because the Sci-Fi channel would sue him if he walked out on his contract.  
Goemon walked up, dressed like he normally does, his sword held at his side. "I am Goemon."  
Stan looked down at some notes in front of him. "Yes, but what is your superhero name?"  
"Huh?"  
"Crazed Samurai Dude!" Lupin yelled from off-camera.  
"Uh, yeah," Goemon hesitated, looking over at Lupin. "Crazed Samurai Dude." It pained him to say it, the pain clearly visible.  
"And what kind of powers do you have?" Stan asked.  
Goemon pulled out the note that Lupin had given to him and started to read. "I know lots of martial arts stuff and can chop things up real good with my sword." He groaned as Lupin's laughter was heard. Head bowed, he walked off in defeat.  
Fujiko came next, walking up very proper-like. "I am Evil Magic Stealer Witch," she said with pride, wearing a short blue skirt, blue long sleeved tunic and oversized blue pointy magicians hat. Her calf high boots were black leather. "Even though I mainly steal magic, I won't hesitate to help someone in need...as long as the reward fits my taste." She smiled, nodded and walked off.  
Stan sighed, thinking there was finally one sane superhero on the show.  
Pycal was next, his outfit more bright than the others, with his long sleeved red shirt, orange sleeveless tunic and white pants tucked into black boots. "I am Fire Bringer of Death. I hunt down people and burn them. To death!"  
Stan sighed more deeply as he slouched down in his chair.  
Inspector Melon came out, dressed as a cowgirl, long sleeved blue shirt, tan vest, blue jeans, tan cowboy boots, tan cowboy hat and a black mask. "I am Insane Justice Cop," she said with a flourish, showing what she could do right off as she threw handcuffs around the room, hitting every overhead light, then pulling out her gun and shooting all of the remaining lights, casting the place in darkness.  
After the stage workers replaced the lights, it was Jigen's turn, walking up in a very outlandish pimp outfit of blues, purples and yellows, a large feathered hat pulled low on his head. "I am Super Magical Mofo Pimp. You mess with my ho's and I'll shoot your effing head off!" He then made some odd hand gestures and walked off.  
"Two more," Stan groaned, slouched deeper in his chair.  
"I am Time Traveller," Mamou said loudly. He was dressed as a musketeer, his long sleeved red poofy shirt covered in a black vest, a black cape over that. His black hat was adorned with a large red feather. His mask, pants and boots were also black. "I can go back in time and stop an event from occurring. Get me mad enough and I will go back and erase your family from existence."  
"Is he serious?" Stan asked while looking over to his right.  
Last up was Lupin, walking out in black snowboots, black snowpants and a red poofy snow jacket with fur trimmed hood pulled over his head. "Super Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo here. You want powers? I'm a master of disguise, I can woo almost any woman, I come up with the craziest gadgets, I drive exceptionally well, no safe is unbreakable with me, counterfeits are no match for my keen eyes, I'm rich, know what fine dining is, am up-to-date in the latest fashion and I can undress in point zero nine seconds."  
"What does any of that have to do with being an eskimo?"  
"I have no idea," Lupin answered with a smile.  
"Oh..."  
Once the intros were complete, the ten contestants stood together in front of the screen. "Superheroes." Stan addressed the group, once again trying to get in the spirit of things. "During your time here you will be put through many challenges and I will be watching closely to see which of you has what it takes to be a true superhero."  
The ten watched and nodded as he spoke.  
"I will meet with you back at the secret lair, where you will be put through your first test. Now go, superheroes. Excelsior!"  
No one knew what excelsior even meant, and none had heard of it before, and so no one said it, leaving a quiet awkward moment. 


	2. Round One  Part One

**Round One - Part One**

The contestants were taken magically by SUV to their secret lair, which seemed to be an old industrial type building. The interior was very comic book looking, with bright colors, oddly shaped furniture, and pictures of superheroes on the walls.  
"Well, this isn't so bad, I guess," Lupin said as he looked around.  
"But, wait, it gets worse," Mamo said in a mock happy voice as he stood and stared into the bedroom area.  
The others gathered behind him, some making their way inside. Mumbles were heard, most not happy that they would all be sleeping in the same room. Others were disappointed by who they had to sleep next to, making it a plan to re-arrange the beds before that night.  
Stan suddenly appeared on the TV in the room. "Good afternoon, superheroes," he said with a smile. "You'll have plenty of time to get used to your new living spaces, but for now I need you to meet me in the living room for a meeting."  
The TV went blank, everyone looking at one another. They made another mental note to cover the TV when they went to sleep.  
Stan appeared on the TV in the living room, which served as their main meeting area. The ten stood watching, waiting for what he had to say.  
"It appears you ten have arrived just in time," Stan said, his face more serious. "There seems to be a new threat to the peace in this world."  
"What peace?" Pycal mumbled, getting a few snorts of laughter.  
"I need you to head down to the Main Street Park. I'll fill you in on the details once you get there. Excelsior!"  
"Excelsior," some of them mumbled, still having no idea what it meant or why Stan kept yelling it. They then turned and left the lair.

"What's going on here?" Fujiko asked as they drove slowly past a group of people surrounding and looking up at a tree, a small boy in the crowd crying and pointing up to it.  
"They don't make their challenges very subtle, do they," Mamou said with a laugh.  
A screen on the ceiling of the vehicle dropped down, Stan quickly appearing. "It looks like the park will have to be delayed for a bit. From what I've heard it seems a little boys cat has been refusing to leave that tree. Now, I will need you all to work together to help the boy get his cat back." The screen then went blank.  
"All right," Pycal said, taking charge of the situation, "How about we all voice our solutions and then decide on the best one?"  
The others nodded and voiced their agreements.  
"Fine," Pycal said. "Then we can start with Lupin, since his ideas are insignificant and nobody care." He glanced at Lupin and smirked.  
"Ha ha," Lupin said, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm having a hard time concentrating because my mind keeps thinking about somebody summoning mechanical crows. Gee, I wonder who that was? Do you know?" He looked at Pycal with a grin on his face.  
"That was in the script," Pycal sneered. "And besides, I thought we agreed to never mention that movie."  
Lupin shrugged.  
"Now, your solution?"  
"Climb the tree, grab the cat, climb back down," Lupin said simply.  
"Oh, always the monkey, aren't you." Pycal looked away and towards Fujiko. "What about you?"  
"Lupin's idea sounds sensible," she said.  
"Shoot the branch the cat is on and catch the cat as it falls," Jigen said.  
"As much as I hate to say it," Mamo said with a sigh, "I agree with Lupin."  
"Cut the tree down," Goemon said.  
"Who cares about the cat," Mr. X snarled. "Buy the kid ten cats, make him that much happier, the sniveling little brat."  
"So far, Lupin's idea sounds good," Melon said with a nod.  
"I agree, I guess," Zenigata said.  
Pycal gave a quick glance at Lupin, and then looked to Mamou. "I hate to ask, but what's your idea."  
"Go back in time and prevent the cat from being born. That way we wouldn't have to bother."  
Everyone became just a little more frightened of him, all sitting in silence as they stared at him.  
Lupin scoffed. "Well, we've heard from everyone except you, mister genius. What's your plan?"  
Pycal laughed. "I shall float up to the cat, grab it and float back down. My idea uses the least time and energy." He sat back and smiled, the others seeming defeated.  
The car was parked and they all exited, walking over and joining the crowd.  
"My kitty!" the boy cried as Pycal approached, looking to him for help.  
Pycal glared at the boy. He then floated up, stopping right in front of the scared cat, who sat on a branch close to the top of the tree. "Stupid animal," Pycal muttered as he grabbed it and floated back down, handing it to the boy.  
The crowd was amazed, giving him a round of applause.  
"That should be my applause," Lupin whined.  
Pycal ignored the praise he was given, turning and walking back to the car, the others following.  
The ride to the park was quiet, all but Pycal and Lupin staring out the windows. Pycal was busy giving a gloating look to Lupin, Lupin returning the look with a glare. 


	3. Round One Part Two

**Round One - Part Two**

The car stopped in the large lot in front of the park. Seconds later the small screen popped down once again, a smiling Stan greeting everyone.  
"Hello again, superheroes. You did a fine job helping the boy get his cat back. But now we have very important matters to attend to. It seems that there is a new threat to this planet. He calls himself Disco Ant. We have gotten word that his sidekick, Metal Moth, is going to be arriving here at this park to meet with five of Disco Ants cronies. Each of the cronies has an important message that you must intercept before Disco Ant gets ahold of them."  
"And how do we know who the cronies are?" Fujiko asked.  
"Disco Ant has sent me some clues. He seems to be mocking us. I will need you to break into five groups, each of you getting a clue to solve. You have thirty minutes to grab those messages before Metal Moth arrives. I am sending the clues right now."  
He pushed a button, a light glowing before them, five numbered envelopes appearing as the light faded.  
"Good luck, superheroes," Stan said with a smile and a nod, the screen then going blank.  
The ten quickly paired up, each grabbing an envelope and heading out into the park.  
Lupin and Fujiko teamed up, taking envelope three.  
Jigen and Goemon took envelope one.  
Zenigata and Melon took envelope five.  
Mr. X and Mamo took envelope four.  
Pycal and Mamou took the last envelope, number two.  
The envelopes were opened and the small slip of paper inside them was read by one of the two from each team. 

"All right," Lupin said, staring down at the paper. "This Derrik and the Dominos song was featured on the album Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs and was second in popularity to Layla."  
"Huh?" Fujiko stared at him, both with blank expressions on their faces.  
"Who's Derrik and the Dominos?" Lupin wondered.  
Fujiko shrugged. "Maybe we can ask around."

Jigen and Goemon, meanwhile, fared much better with theirs.  
"A hit on the self titled Elvis Presley album," Jigen read. He glanced around as he thought, smiling when he spotted a man leaning against a tree. "Blue Suede Shoes," he said as he stared at the man's shoes.  
Goemon went along with Jigen, as he had no idea the answer.  
The man looked on with suspicion as they approached and quickly ran.  
Jigen grabbed his gun, shooting a branch over the man, watching as it broke and fell on the man's head, knocking him out.  
Goemon sighed, but in the end he knew he'd have done something similar, so he said nothing, the two walking over and searching the man for info.

Zenigata and Melon spent the first five minutes arguing over who would be in charge. The two fought over the envelope, but with Zenigata being bigger, he was able to easily fend Melon off, who eventually decided to just give it up and let him take the lead.  
"A hit by Prince on his Around the World in a Day album." Zenigata stared down at the note, a look of confusion and disinterest on his face. "What kind of a clue is this?" he growled, not liking the game.  
Melon thought of any Prince songs she knew, finally coming to the conclusion that she didn't know any.  
"Here," Zenigata growled, thrusting the paper and envelope at Melon and wandering off, figuring he could do better by finding real criminals in the park.  
"Inspector Zenigata," Melon called out, none of the contestants being good superheroes and calling everyone by their real names. "Maybe it'd be better if we asked around."  
"If you want," he said as he continued walking away. He spotted some people littering and walked towards them.  
Melon sighed and shook her head, watching as he roughed the litterers up. She then decided to leave him be and concentrate on the clue.

"I know the answer to that," Mamo said proudly. "The country star Johnny Cash was also known as the man in black."  
"Really?" Mr. X asked.  
"I made a couple of Johnny Cash clones. I know what I'm talking about."  
"Why a couple?"  
"Let's just say the first one was fond of paisleys..." Mamo cleared his throat, not really enjoying talking about his failures.  
Mr. X remained quiet, a slight grin on his face.  
"Let's just look for this man in black, okay?"  
Mr. X agreed, both stopping and looking around the park. What they saw didn't please them, as there were large groups of young kids who all wore black.  
"Any ideas?" Mr. X asked.  
Mamo grinned evilly.

"The big hit from Cake's album Comfort Eagle," Pycal read.  
"If this Cake never existed..." Mamou thought out loud.  
"We must stay focused if we want to win this," Pycal said.  
"Why is it so important to win?"  
"Because, if a villain wins it'll show everyone just how worthless the main characters are and how we should have been in more episodes and movies."  
"I can see your point," Mamou said with a nod.  
And so, the two wandered the park, asking people if they knew the answer to the clue they were given.  
"Sure, I know it," a man in his twenties said. "Have a listen." He held out some headphones.  
Pycal took them and put them on, immediately horrified by what he heard and ripping them off his head. "That was terrible! What was that noise?"  
"Short Skirt/Long Jacket," the man said with a laugh.  
"Hmmm... So, have you seen anyone that would match that description?" Mamou asked.  
The man thought for a second. "There was that chick by the vending machines with a long black jacket. Kind of odd in this heat, you know?"  
Mamou nodded. "Thank you for your help," he said as he dragged a still stunned Pycal away, the two heading for the vending machines.

A man sitting against a tree, wearing old tattered clothes and sporting a dirty scruffy beard strummed his guitar, playing the last notes of a song. "Bell Bottom Blues," he said, speaking the name of the song he played. "I always thought it was better than Layla, though. Layla got too much air time."  
"That's wonderful," Fujiko said happily, knowing that they were close to finishing their task. "Thank you so much."  
"Happy to help out a beautiful lady," the man said with a big smile on his face.  
Fujiko and Lupin ran off, looking around for someone in bell bottoms.

Mr. X watched in horror as Kublai Kahn clone ran around the park, scaring and chasing anyone wearing black.  
Mamo smiled, watching happily his handiwork in action.  
The kids ran, some scrambling up trees as Kublai Kahn clone continued chasing them.

"Raspberry Beret?" Melon asked, confirming what she had just been told.  
The woman nodded.  
"Okay, great. Thanks for the help." She waved and ran off, deciding to skip finding Zenigata and instead search for someone wearing a raspberry colored beret.

One way or another, all of the groups found their target, retrieving the important information and returning to the SUV with only a few minutes to spare.

Meanwhile...  
"I am sorry to inform you of this, sir," Metal Moth said into his hand held communication device, the screen showing a shadowy figure.  
"Did those idiots actually figure out my clues?" he asked giving an evil laugh.  
"It seems I arrived too late, sir."  
"Don't worry about it. Those clues are just to distract them from my main cause. Let's just say it keeps them busy while the real plan is being set in motion." He laughed once again, this time Metal Moth joining in, both laughing a little too evilly for a little too long.


	4. Round One Part Three

**Round One - Part Three**

The ten arrived back at the lair, all hanging around the main room and lounging after their time in the park.  
"Did you guys notice the cops arriving as we left?" Fujiko asked as she sat next to Lupin. She looked over at the others before she, Lupin, Goemon, Jigen, Zenigata and Melon looked towards Mr. X, Pycal, Mamo and Mamou.  
"You act as thought we had something to do with it," Pycal scoffed.  
"Yeah," Mamou scoffed. "I'm sure none of you had anything to do with it."  
Mr. X and Mamo were oddly quiet.  
"Don't you think we should have stuck around to assist them?" Melon asked.  
"No!" both Mr. X and Mamo shouted.  
"I mean...we'd just get in the way." Mr. X laughed nervously.  
"Uh huh..." Lupin eyed them suspiciously.  
Just then Stan appeared on the screen. "Attention superheros. Congratulations on your first completed task. I will now need you to fill out a mission report, where you will evaluate your performance as well as the performance of the other superheroes. Remember, be honest, as difficult as that may be. Here are your mission report computers." A light shone on a small bar, ten laptops appearing as the light faded. "This is all about you giving me feedback on the mission, so be thorough."  
The ten walked up and grabbed a laptop as the screen turned off. They all went off to a different part in the lair to write up their scathing reports.  
One by one, the laptops were placed back on the bar, a light shining on them once they were all replaced, the laptops gone when the light faded.  
"Thank you, superheroes," Stan said as he appeared once again. "I'm gonna take a few minutes to look over your answers and I'll get back to you shortly." The screen turned off.  
"So, what exactly did happen in the park?" Lupin asked as he glanced at Mr. X and Mamo.  
"Yeah, you two took a long time to complete your task," Fujiko said.  
"We had a difficult riddle," Mamo said.  
"I'm sure you did," Fujiko said with a laugh.  
"What do you think those clues meant?" Goemon wondered, thinking about the information they got from the cronies.  
"They probably tell us where to go next," Lupin said with a grin. "Villains have no creativity these days."  
"Says the one who sends me notes about when and where he will be robbing something," Zenigata glanced at Lupin.  
Lupin sighed. "Why am I always getting picked on?" he whined.  
Just then the screen came on. "Here are your mission report results," Stan said, looking serious. "Please take this feedback to heart."  
The screen changed, showing four sentences.  
"Two of you felt as though your partners did not rise to the task," Lupin read.  
Zenigata and Mamo glared at their partners.  
"Super Magical Mofo Pimp acts too quickly and recklessly," Lupin continued. He looked back and grinned at Jigen.  
"What's so wrong with that?" Jigen joked as he grinned.  
"Time Traveller frightens the rest of the group?" Mamou growled as he read the third thing. He stepped up and looked at everyone. "You had all better hope I don't lose this thing or else I will make you pay for that little remark."  
The others got quiet and looked around the room.  
"Hey," Pycal said as he looked at the last thing. "Fire Bringer of Death is thought to be a natural born leader while Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, Insane Samurai Dude, Insane Justice Cop and Angry Guy of Anger would make better sidekicks." Pycal laughed while Lupin and Mr. X sighed. Goemon and Melon didn't seem to be bothered by the criticism.  
Stan popped back up on the screen. "Superheroes, it is now time for one of you to be sent home. Meet me upstairs."  
The ten looked at one another and then proceeded towards the roof.  
One the roof sat ten white blocks. Before them stood three unlit blocks. They were all set up to face a large billboards, a television placed on it.  
The ten walked single file to the white blocks, each one taking their place on top of them. The screen on the billboard popped on.  
"Superheroes," Stan started, "I told you I was looking for a true superhero, someone who could be and act heroic whenever the moment presents itself. This isn't about just completing your tasks. Insane Justice Cop," he looked towards Melon, who nodded in acknowledgment, "I felt you didn't open up enough in the first task. And then at the park, you weren't able to control your partner and get him focused."  
Melon nodded, now a little nervous.  
"Crazed Samurai Dude and Angry Guy of Anger," Stan looked at Goemon and Mr. X, "your solutions to the first task weren't very hero-like. And then in the park, you both seemed to let your partner do whatever they wanted. You even seemed as though you went along with it."  
Neither showed any kind of response.  
"On the other hand, Fire Bring of Death handled both situations as a true superhero, first with the cat and then second at the park by keeping his partner focused on the task."  
Pycal seemed to gloat about the praise, smiling suredly at Lupin, who glared at him.  
"And Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo and Evil Magic Stealer Witch, you both did a good job on both tasks, as well."  
Lupin stuck his tongue out at Pycal.  
"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, I'm a bit disturbed by your behavior today. With the cat, you suggested to shoot the branch, not caring about the safety of those around you or the safety of the cat. And in the park, you actually did shoot at a branch, endangering the innocent lives around you and sending the crony to the hospital with serious injuries. Is there something I should know about you?"  
Jigen shrugged. "My gun is my weapon and if I have to use it, I will."  
Stan didn't seem too impressed, moving on to Zenigata. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, you did agree with a reasonable solution in rescuing the cat, but in the park you went off on your own, as if you didn't care about the task. And to make matters worse, you began to harass the citizens, throwing cookies at them and placing them under arrest."  
"They were law breaking citizens," Zenigata said gruffly.  
"Even so, it is a superheros job to educate the people and to correct their wrong doings, not to place them under arrest for littering.  
God of Cloning, I found it noble of you to agree with Super Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo on the first task, even though it seemed painful for you to do so."  
"It was all for the good of the cat," Mamo said with a nod.  
"That's fine, but then at the park, you did something very disturbing. Sending out a clone of Kublai Kahn to capture anyone wearing black?"  
The others, minus Mr. X, looked at Mamo in a kind of amused shock.  
"That is not very heroic behavior," Stan continued. "A superhero does not take innocent lives hostage."  
Mamo rolled his eyes and scoffed.  
"And now the time has come. Three of you will be asked to step forward and tell me why I should not send you home."  
Everyone was quiet, waiting for the three names.  
"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, please step forward."  
Lupin looked on sadly as Jigen stepped off the white block and onto one of the three blocks, which shone red as he got on it.  
"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies."  
Zenigata scoffed, getting up on the now red block. Melon looked on with concern, feeling guilty for him being up front.  
"God of Cloning."  
Mamo stepped up next to Zenigata, all three facing forward.  
"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, why should you stay in the lair?"  
Jigen shrugged once more. "I haven't really shown you what I can do. And maybe I didn't get the whole idea of this superhero thing, but I'm learning."  
"Okay," Stan said with a nod. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, why should I let you remain in the lair?"  
"Someone needs to shape up the lawbreakers of the world and I'm just the person to do it. I guess I didn't get that this Disco Ant was a threat and took it upon myself to do something about the ones who did pose a threat. I won't make that mistake again."  
Stan nodded. "God of Cloning, why should you stay in the lair?"  
I feel as though I did send out the wrong clone to do the job. Let me learn from my mistakes and show you what I'm really capable of."  
Stan nodded. "This is a very hard decision for me."  
There was a long pause as he thought.  
"Super Magical Mofo Pimp..."  
Long pause.  
"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies..."  
Another long pause.  
"God of Cloning."  
Yet another long pause as the suspension built up.  
"The time has come. The person leaving the lair tonight is..." 

* * *

Now is the time for the readers to vote. Who do you think should leave the lair? Voting will end in one week or so. :3


	5. Round Two Part One

I apologize for this chapter taking way too long to finish. Hopefully future chapters won't take this long.  
I screwed up when I wrote this, as I had it an individual event, completely forgetting there are nine people. xD So this chapter was really long when I wrote it. And after the seventh person I was kind of burned out on the whole thing.  
Also, I have this bad habit of taking things way too seriously. Everything has to make sense to me sometimes. And that happened on this chapter. I wish I could turn that off at will, especially when it involves this story.

* * *

**Round Two - Part One**

"The person leaving the lair tonight is...God of Cloning."  
Zenigata and Jigen seemed relieved while Mamo clenched his teeth in anger.  
"The key to being a superhero is to help people using the powers you have, not to use them to harass and frighten people. That will only cause their trust in you to diminish."  
Mamo said nothing, only glared at Stan.  
"I will have to ask you to turn in your costume." Stan lowered his head slightly, giving Mamo a serious look.  
Mamo stepped off the square and turned to the others, mainly focusing his attention on Lupin, who seemed overly happy at the choice. "You haven't heard the last of me!" he snarled. "One of these days..."  
"Bye, God," Lupin called out as he waved. "Have fun in your other life, loser!"  
"Keep it up," Mamo said with a smirk. He then walked over to a trash can, feeling it degrading and offensive to have to put his costume in the garbage.  
He removed his gloves and his coat, tossing them in the can. A bright light surrounded him and when it faded he was back in his normal clothes.  
Mamo gave one last glare to Stan and Lupin before leaving down the stairs to the lair.  
"Superheroes," Stan said, his attention on the nine left. "As you have seen, using your powers in a negative way will not win this competition. You must use your conscious and compassion to win the hearts of those in need of your assistance. Now, return to the lair and get a good nights rest. Tomorrow will undoubtedly be another big day. Goodnight."  
The others nodded, saying goodnight to Stan as they left the blocks and returned to the lair.

"Wow," Lupin said, giving a friendly slap on Jigen's back as the two stood in the kitchen. "You kind of had me scared there for a minute."  
"I wasn't worried," Jigen said with a shrug.  
Fujiko scoffed. "Yeah right. You were shaking up there you were so afraid."  
"Shut up, Witch," Jigen growled. "And by the way, you picked a very appropriate name for yourself, Witch."  
"Hmph!" Fujiko held her chin up and walked away, retaining some of her dignity.  
Goemon started in the kitchen, stopping as he watched Fujiko leaving to the bedroom. "You should remember that she wasn't the one called forward," he said as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water.  
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Jigen asked in anger.  
"It means, Jigen, that you had better hope you aren't sent home before she is." He left the kitchen, walking into the living room to continue his meditation.  
Jigen muttered something under his breath. "I'm going to bed," he said, giving one last angry glance at Goemon before heading to the bedroom.  
Lupin sighed and went out onto the balcony to have a smoke.  
Zenigata and Melon were both asleep in their beds.  
Mr. X, Mamou and Pycal were all in the game room, discussing their strategy for one of them to succeed in the competition.

A couple of hours after the sun came up all of the superheroes were awake. Some cooked breakfast while others had cereal or fruit, everyone done eating when the TV in the living room came on.  
"Good morning, superheroes," Stan said with a smile. "The scientists down in the top secret lab were able to-"  
"We have a top secret lab?" Lupin asked excitedly, wanting to find it and see why it was so top secret.  
"There's no lab, Lupin," Jigen said.  
"But, he just said-"  
"This is a game," Jigen reminded him. "There is no lab."  
"Aww." Lupin looked down, saddened by the news.  
"Ahem," Stan said, annoyed at being interrupted. "Finished?"  
Lupin and Jigen nodded.  
"As I was saying, the information retrieved from the park yesterday has been deciphered. And the message says 'Come have lunch at Kung Pao's Chicken Wok'."  
"We went through all of that for a stupid ad?" Mr. X growled.  
"It's more than an ad," Melon informed him. "It is obviously a clue."  
"That's right, Insane Justice Cop." Stan nodded in approval. "I think that you should all go to this restaurant to see if there is more there than just waiters and food."  
The TV went off, everyone looking at each other.  
"So, how do you want to do this?" Lupin asked.  
"I think we should disguise ourselves and go in one at a time to avoid suspicion," Zenigata suggested.  
"Disguise ourselves more?" Jigen wondered, giving Zenigata an odd look.  
"What if," Fujiko started, "we go in as ourselves, not as our superhero selves. Wouldn't that be easier?" She looked around at the others.  
"Makes sense," Mamou said with a shrug.  
The others also agreed to this, coming up with a quickly layed out plan and then spending the rest of the morning lazing around.

Lunch time finally came and they all piled into the car, making the short trip to the restaurant.  
Their plan was to go in one by one and then when they all returned to the lair they would get together and discuss anything odd they saw, deciding on future action from their findings.

Melon decided to go first, walking in and ordering. Her wait for the food was uneventful and boring. That was, until a young man came in and ordered a drink.  
He paid the woman and took his drink, starting out the door when he saw Melon leaning against the wall by the door.  
She glanced at him in disinterest.  
"Hey," he said with a smarmy grin. "Aren't you that superhero chick?"  
"No," she said as she stared at him.  
"Aww, you don't have to lie to me, honey." He walked up and put his arm around her shoulders. "I can keep a secret, baby."  
"I am an officer of the law," she said, flashing her badge. "I suggest you stop touching me and leave, unless you want to be arrested for harassment."  
The man pulled his arm back and quickly left.  
Melon watched him run to his car and scoffed. When her food was ready, she took it and left.

Goemon walked in next, ordering something simple, Chinese food not really his favorite cuisine. He then sat quietly at a table as he waited.  
"Oh my gosh," a young woman gasped as she entered. "You're Crazed Samurai Dude! I can't believe I'm in the same room with you!"  
"Uh, that's my twin brother," Goemon said hesitantly.  
"Really? Wow. You are so lucky." The girl was still amazed, the excitement in her voice still there. "Have you ever met Time Traveller. Oh my gosh, I think he is so cute! My sister thinks Fire Bringer of Death is cuter, but she is so wrong. Time Traveller is way cuter. Don't you think so?"  
Goemon gave her a look of uncertainty, refusing to answer the question.  
"Oh my gosh, that picture of him in the paper, I mean, wow! It was so amazing! He is just so..."  
Goemon closed his eyes and tuned out the ramblings of the Mamou fangirl. He was happy to see his food was ready, taking it and walking out, the girl not seeming to notice as she continued to ramble.

The girl was still there when Lupin strolled in. The second she saw him she gasped, rushing right over to him.  
"You're Super Magical Gore-Tex Parka Eskimo! No way! This is so unbelievable! Crazed Samurai Dude's twin brother was just in here! This is so weird!"  
Lupin stared at her in fright and backed away.  
"I was just telling him about how cute Time Traveller is! Did you know he can travel through time? Isn't that crazy?!"  
"Yeah, sure," Lupin said while laughing nervously. "But, I'm afraid you have me mistaken with somebody else. I don't know this eskimo person or the time traveling man you're talking about."  
"Pfft, please!" The girl gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. "I can keep a secret." She gave him a couple of knowing winks.  
"No, see, I'm Lupin. Lupin the Third."  
"Who?" she asked.  
"The world famous thief...Lupin..."  
"Ohhh," she said, nodding and playing along. "Of course you are." She winked again and nudged him. "Lupin, yeah, of course."  
"I am!" he shouted, getting annoyed with her.  
Just then another customer came in, Lupin groaning when he saw who it was.  
"Oh my!" Mamo said in mock surprise. "I can't believe who I'm seeing. Super Magical Gore-Tex Parka Eskimo! Can I have your autograph?"  
Lupin growled at him. "What are you doing here, God of Cloning?"  
"God of Cloning?" the girl laughed. "Him? He looks nothing like God of Cloning."  
"Yeah," Mamo said with a grin, enjoying how this scenario was turning out. "I look nothing like him."  
"Oh, can I have your autograph, too?" the girl asked as she dug around her purse for a pen. "And if I give you my address, do you think you can get me Time Traveller's autograph? Or even have him pay me a visit?" She giggled wildly at the thought.  
Mamo started to fear her, backing away slightly. He then turned to Lupin, continuing with to torment him. "I can't believe they let you out of the lair. Ooh, are you on a top secret mission?"  
"Top secret mission?" the girl asked. "Do tell!"  
"I am not a superhero!" Lupin yelled. "I'm just a thief, okay?! Leave me alone!"  
Mamo snickered at this.  
Lupin, his breathing heavy as his anger rose, noticed his food was done. He grabbed the bag, eying a basket of almond cookies on the counter. "Would a superhero do this?" he asked, grabbing a handful and running out of the restaurant, the woman at the counter screaming at him to stop.  
"Isn't that breaking the superhero code of conduct or something?" the girl asked.  
Mamo only watched while grinning evilly.  
Lupin ran to the car, jumping inside and slamming the door, peaking out the window.  
"What's with you?" Jigen asked.  
"It's Mamo," he said as he panted. "He's stalking me."  
"He was there?" Fujiko asked.  
"Can't handle something as simple as ordering food, I see," Mamou said with a grin as he left the car.  
He was hoping to see Mamo, to congratulate him on rattling Lupin, but when he entered Mamo was already gone.  
The girl, however, was still there, now sitting at a table and eating her food. She eyed him as he entered. 'He looks familiar...' She continued staring at him, finally shrugging and going back to eating. 'I'm sure he's nobody.'  
Mamou waited for his food and left when it came.

Mr. X was the next to go in. He eyed the menu and ended up ordering everything on it, his mind always working on devious plans, this one consisting of the tastes of different food combinations. After paying the woman, he sat at a table and waited.  
On the other side of the restaurant sat a husband, wife and their two small sons. One of the kids laughed loudly as he played with his food, tossing a fried noodle at his little brother and poking him in the eye with it. This caused the younger boy to cry very loudly.  
Mr. X's eye twitched as he tried to ignore the kid. He did everything he could to block out the noise, but it only seemed to make it louder. Having had enough, he pounded his fists on the table and stood, glaring at the family.  
"Shut that ugly little brat up!" he screamed.  
The kid stopped crying, the other stopped laughing, both joining their parents in staring in fright at Mr. X.  
The cooks started to work a little faster on his order.  
"Do not get me angry!" he yelled. "That is my motto! I am now angry! Do not make me hurt you!" He gave the evil eye to the family, who seemed to cower a little more. His food ready, he snatched up the ten bags and left, the whole time continuing to eye the family.

Zenigata was next. He ordered his food, happy at the fact that he didn't have to pay for it. His happiness didn't last long, though, as the woman repeated his order and got it completely wrong.  
Zenigata then corrected her. Once again she got it wrong.  
Angered by this and wanting his food, he started to scream at the woman, who was frightened by his behavior.  
Hearing this, the chef came out of the kitchen to see what was going on, his hand still holding onto the butcher knife he had been using to chop up chicken.  
Eying the knife, Zenigata took it as a threat, diving over the counter and tackling the chef. He was able to disarm him and then, using his judo skills, he knocked the man out and cuffed him.  
Seeing this angered the woman, who started to scream at Zenigata in Chinese.  
Zenigata replied by screaming back in Japanese.  
The others from the kitchen came out, joining the woman in screaming at Zenigata.  
The screaming stopped as a customer approached, the man wandering in and ordering his food, the woman repeating exactly what he had ordered.  
Zenigata stared, exasperated. "But...you...he... What is wrong with you?!"  
The two once again started screaming at each other.  
Five minutes later the screaming stopped again as the man's food was ready, the woman taking it and placing it in a bag, setting it on the counter.  
The man smiled and nodded, stepping up to take the food when Zenigata shoved him aside and grabbed the bag.  
"Official police business!" he yelled as he ran out the door.  
"Hey!" the man yelled, standing in complete confusion.

When Jigen walked in the man and woman were talking. The woman paused to take Jigen's order.  
"I can't believe he stole my food," the man said as he stared off, still trying to figure it out.  
"Who did?" Jigen wondered.  
"I don't know," the man answered. "Some guy, said he was a cop."  
"Big oafish guy in a trench coat and a hat?"  
"Yeah, that was him! Do you know the guy?"  
Jigen nodded. "And he's no cop. He's just some sad pathetic homeless guy living in a cardboard box in some back alley."  
"I can't believe society lets those types run free," the man complained.  
"The world can be a sad place," Jigen said.  
The woman set a bag on the counter, the man looking around to make sure it was safe before grabbing the bag and rushing to his car.  
Jigen then waited, the place quiet while his food cooked.

The place was still quiet when Fujiko walked in, ordering her food quickly and with no problems. She leaned against the counter and gave the place a good looking over.  
"Look mommy!" a kid hollered. "It's a witch!"  
Fujiko growled, turning towards the kid and glaring at him. "So my name is Evil Magic Stealer Witch! It doesn't mean you have to keep referring to me as a witch!"  
The mother and the kid froze, staring at her in fear.  
Fujiko then noticed the kid still pointing to a painting on the wall. "Oh! Uh, I mean...I...uh..." She looked around, trying to figure a way out of the mess she created. Unable to think of anything and with the mother and kid still standing and staring at her, she turned her back on them, happy to see her food was ready, grabbing the bags and rushing out of the restaurant.  
She hurried to the car, the others pausing to look at her when she entered.  
"This is all your fault!" she yelled at Jigen.  
"What'd I do now?" he wondered, going back to eating.  
"Last one up, buddy," Lupin said to annoy Pycal.  
The thoughts of more food sickened Pycal, as Mr. X had chosen him for his guinea pig, feeding him a large assortment of different food combinations.  
"Suck it up, kid, you can do it!" Lupin gave a hard slap to Pycal's back and grinned.  
Pycal glared at him, slowly leaving the car and almost crawling to the restaurant. Once to the counter, he ordered a drink, the smells of the place making him run to the bathroom a few times.  
His stomach emptied and with drink in hand, he walked slowly back to the car.

Ten minutes later everyone was done with their meals, all that remained being their fortune cookies. They decided, for fun, to read them aloud.  
"I refuse," Goemon said, setting his cookie off to the side.  
"Uh, Goemon," Lupin said. "They don't really tell you your fortune."  
"And how do you know?" Goemon asked.  
"It's just random sayings and proverbs and crap."  
Goemon eyed Lupin. "Then you can open mine," he said, tossing his cookie at him.  
"Fine," Lupin sighed.

"You idiot!" Disco Ant screamed.  
Metal Moth cowered before him.  
"One simple thing! ONE simple thing!! How can you screw up one simple thing?!"  
"I-I'm sorry, sir. I-i-it won't ha-happen again, s-s-sir."  
"See to it that it doesn't. And stop that stuttering!"  
Metal Moth cowered once more.  
"Pathetic morons. Why is it that the bad guys always get stuck with pathetic morons..."  
Metal Moth looked down, saddened.  
"Oh, quit your moping and get out of here!"  
Metal Moth ran off.  
"Hmmm...maybe I'll get some notoriety over this after all." Disco Ant laughed and turned on the TV, waiting for the local news.


	6. Round Two Part Two

**Round Two - Part Two**

The group returned to the lair, discussing what, if anything they had found out, each telling about their food ordering experience.  
"This could be bad that people recognized us," Melon said.  
Jigen scoffed. "It's a TV show. I'm sure those were just plants."  
"I don't think you're supposed to keep reminding everyone that this whole thing isn't real," Fujiko said with a sigh.  
Jigen shrugged, laying on the couch and setting his hat over his face.  
"And nobody saw anything suspicious about the place?" Lupin asked.  
The others replied with 'no's and shakes of the head.  
"What's this?" Fujiko wondered as she focused on the TV, turning up the volume.  
A newswoman sat at a desk speaking, a breaking news logo at the bottom of the screen. "And has there been any other threat on this location?"  
"There hasn't, Jane," the reporter at the scene responded. "But the police are treating this as a credible threat."  
"Now, Bob, could you please explain how this whole situation started for those who are just tuning in."  
"Sure, Jane. Earlier this afternoon, the Smith family made a visit to the Kung Pao Chicken Wok for lunch. They ordered their food to go, got home and that was when the Smith children quickly opened their fortune cookies. But instead of getting their fortunes, they got something a little more alarming. They got a message telling them of an attack on the B and A Lab."  
Hearing that made Lupin laugh. "That's why we were sent there, so they could give us those cookies. Our enemy is a total imbecile!" He laughed again.  
"I'll say he is," Pycal muttered as he glared at Lupin.  
"So?" Fujiko asked. "Shouldn't we be going to this lab?"  
No one wanted to go, except for Melon and Zenigata, those being the only two who voiced a response.  
"Superheroes," Stan's voice boomed as he suddenly appeared on the TV, making everyone jump.  
"You could warn us first!" Lupin yelled in annoyance. "Geez, give me a heart attack or something."  
"Right," Stan said in disinterest as he stared at him. He then focused on the reason he was there. "I'm sure you've seen the news and heard about the threat to B and A Laboratories. This is undoubtedly the work of Disco Ant. Who knows what trouble he could cause if he is able to go through with his threat. I suggest you get down there right away before anything happens. I wish you luck, superheroes. And excelsior!"  
"Wait, hold on," Lupin said quickly before Stan could go. "Why do you keep saying excelsior? What does it even mean?"  
"Well," Stan said, taking a long pause. "It mean excelsior." He nodded, the TV then shutting off.  
"But, what does excelsior mean?" Lupin asked in frustration.  
"I think he wants you to figure it out for yourself," Jigen said as everyone headed off to change into their superhero outfits.  
Lupin sighed and hung his head in defeat.

When they got to the lab they found the area surrounded by cops. Figuring it was all part of the game they approached the building.  
"Hey!" one of the cops yelled as he walked towards them. "What do ya think you're doing?" He eyed them in a suspicious manner.  
"Hello, officer," Melon said, taking charge of the situation. "We are here to stop the evil Disco Ant from infiltrating the lab."  
The cop was silent, staring at them as if they were insane.  
"If you could step aside, please, and let us handle the situation, that would be much appreciated." She started forward, the others following.  
"You're not goin' anywhere," the cop said as he moved himself in front of her. "Hey!" he yelled to some of the other cops. "Arrest these clowns, will ya? Get 'em outta here."  
"Arrest us?" Melon asked.  
"I don't think they're part of the game," Jigen said, stating the obvious.  
They watched as four cops walked up to them.  
Goemon stepped forward as the cops got closer. "You are in our way," he said in anger, gripping his sword and yelling as he swiped it in front of him a few times.  
The cops stood stunned, their clothes falling to the ground in pieces, them and the other cops around running away in fright.  
The group then quietly followed Goemon into the lab.  
The entry was plain, a large rounded desk, some chairs and a large potted plant. What stuck out, though, was the large map on the wall.  
Lupin approached the map, a note stuck to it, pulling it off and reading it:  
"Hello, Superzeroes."  
Lupin groaned at the total lack of originality.  
"I am glad to see you have taken my threat seriously. Now that you are here, I will explain to you my rules. Before you is a map that has been marked off into three locations. In each section you fill find a more detailed map, telling you where the serum I need is located. Get through the three challenges and find the three vials before time runs out. Fail and it may be your time that runs out."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zenigata asked in anger.  
"It means we die," Goemon said simply.  
"So, three locations," Lupin said as he stared at the map. He smirked, a knowing look in his eyes.

They split into three groups to tackle the three areas.  
Mamou, Pycal and Mr. X took section one.  
Goemon, Jigen and Melon took section two.  
Section three was left for Lupin, Fujiko and Zenigata, who insisted on going with Lupin to keep an eye on him.  
Each section was a separate wing of the lab and each had two stories. Getting to the map, they found that the serum was placed in the farthest corner of the second story.  
No one knew what the serum was for or what it was, but they knew they had to get it to pass and stay in the game.  
As for the time, nobody knew how much they had, so they decided to work as quickly as possible.

Mamou, Pycal and Mr. X stood in front of the paper map on the wall.  
"We're here," Pycal said as he pointed to it. "And the serum is here." He moved his finger to the small red x on the map.  
"Shouldn't be too hard," Mr. X said with a shrug as he walked through the main door and into a long hallway. He started down it when a clicking noise from behind made him stop.  
Pycal and Mamou stood in the doorway, not sure of what it was.  
The clicking got louder and Pycal closed the door, leaving Mr. X in the hallway alone as the three large black dogs appeared at the end of the hall.  
They then watched as Mr. X shrieked and ran down the hall, the dogs chasing him.  
Mamou and Pycal waited until the coast was clear, quietly entering the hall and continuing on.  
"One challenge down, two to go," Mamou said with a smirk.  
Pycal wasn't too happy with how things were going, but figured Mr. X was being helpful in luring the dogs away.

"Ahh!" Melon cried out as she ducked into a cubicle, holding her left bicep as blood slowly trickled from the wound caused from a flying drones bullet.  
"You okay?" Jigen asked as he sat in the cubicle across from her.  
"I'll be fine," she said, peaking into the hallway, the drone still floating in the middle of the aisle. "How many of these things are there?"  
"Too many," Jigen answered, running out and shooting the drone before ducking in next to Melon as one at the other end of the hall shot at him.  
"Is this part of the game?" Goemon asked as he ran towards a drone, deflecting the bullets it shot before slicing through it.  
"If so, then I'm starting to like it," Jigen said with a smirk as he shot another drone. He then covered Melon as she ran towards the back door, shooting drones as they popped up above the cubicle walls.  
Goemon blocked the bullets as Jigen and Melon ran out, following them out of the room and to the safety of a long hallway, the three stopping the rest for a bit.  
"I don't think we're alone," Melon whispered, the others looking to where she looked.  
At the end of the hall were three more large dogs, their teeth bared and low growls escaping their mouths. They walked forward before charging full speed.  
Goemon stood in the middle of the hall and readied his sword.  
Jigen eyed the dogs and then Goemon, running and shoving Goemon towards another door that was near them. "Go!" he yelled at him and then at Melon, following the two through the door, all of them running as the dogs gave chase.  
"I could have handled it," Goemon said in anger.  
"It's a game, Goemon! A game! I don't think they'd like you slaughtering their dogs!"  
Goemon only scoffed, slicing randomly into walls and creating new doors for them to enter.

"We're going this way!" Zenigata yelled as he pointed down the hall.  
"Well, I want to go this way!" Fujiko yelled, pointing the opposite way.  
Lupin sighed deeply as the two continued to argue. "I still say we go this way," he said, pointing to a door across from him.  
"Shut up!" both yelled at him before going back to yelling at each other.  
"Okay, fine!" Fujiko finally yelled. "If that's what you want..."  
Zenigata looked on victoriously, his expression only changing when Fujiko pulled out a small perfume bottle and sprayed him in the face with it, causing him to fall to the floor asleep.  
"Are you crazy?" Lupin said in a raised voice. "We've already dealt with machine guns and robots. How do you know there isn't something worse for the last challenge?"  
Fujiko crossed her arms over her chest and scoffed.  
"He was helpful, you know," Lupin said angrily as he lifted Zenigata up, grunting as he hoisted the dead weight on his back and struggled to carry him down the hall.

Mamou and Pycal had made it up to the second floor, Pycal shooting fire at the machine gun turrets that dropped from the ceiling, melting them in seconds. Mamou followed silently and watched.  
"Is this the room?" Pycal asked, Mamou having a clear vision of the map in his head and nodding.  
Pycal pushed the door open, a vial of blue liquid sitting inside a glass box that hung from the ceiling.  
Pycal floated up to the box, opening it and removing the vial, floating back down, completing the task for he and Mamou.

"Aren't we supposed to be going upstairs?" Melon asked after several minutes of aimless running around, the dogs still chasing them, slowed by the debris left behind by Goemon's slicing.  
Goemon ignored her, slicing up yet another wall and finding the stairway.  
"Finally," Jigen muttered as he ran up them.  
"I know where I'm going," Goemon growled, continuing his path of destruction on the second floor.  
Fifteen minutes later they finally lost the dogs and found themselves in the final room, the three looking up at the vial of green liquid in the glass box near the ceiling.  
Goemon ran and jumped, pushing himself off the wall and slicing at the box.  
Jigen and Melon rushed forward, both watching as the vial fell to the floor, both diving to catch it, but falling short as it fell and shattered in front of them, spraying them with the green liquid.  
"Careless," Goemon scoffed, glancing at the two.  
"What is this stuff?" Jigen asked, smelling some that splashed on his hand.  
"Smells like dish soap," Melon said, dipping her finger in some and smelling it.  
"Dish soap?" Jigen wondered. "Why would Disco Ant need dish soap?"  
"To wash his dishes?" Melon said.  
"Ha ha," Jigen said dryly.  
They all looked up as the door crashed open, the three dogs, now even more angry, staring them down, foam forming at the corners of their mouths.  
Goemon growled and ran at them.  
"Goemon, don't!" Jigen yelled.  
He and Melon looked away, unable to watch.

Lupin was busy stacking boxes and pieces of furniture, trying to reach the glass box while Fujiko leaned against the wall and filed her nails.  
He climbed the teetering pile, struggling to reach out far enough, his finger just mere centimeters from the vial.  
He paused, looking at the door as it flew open, Mr. X running in and leaping onto the pile, scrambling up it to escape the three dogs that were still after him.  
"Hey, what are you-" Lupin started to ask before having to hang on for dear life as the pile came crashing down to the floor, the loud noise scaring the dogs away.

"You really thought I was going to kill them, huh?" Goemon asked as they walked out of the room.  
"How was I supposed to know you were only going to knock them out?" Jigen asked, defending his thoughts. "You're friggen insane, you know that? I didn't know what you were going to do, the way you were swinging your sword around like some friggen maniac!"  
Goemon glanced at him and smirked.

The three groups met at the front of the lab, where they began.  
Lupin and Mr. X were exhausted and battered. Zenigata was still asleep. Fujiko was still angry. Goemon was himself. Jigen and Melon were still covered in soap, but smelled a lot cleaner. And both Mamou and Pycal looked pleased, Pycal with the vial still in his hand.  
"With the way you all look, I will have to guess that you failed," Mamou said with a laugh.  
They glared at him, everyone finally leaving the building and heading to the car, all wanting to get back to the lair to relax.


	7. Round Two Part Three

Sorry for this short chapter taking so long to write. xP Kind of forced myself to write it just now since it's stupid how long it's taken me to write this story. xD It was supposed to be done by now... Anyway, another elimination round. I couldn't think of a response for Fujiko...oh well, I'm writing her, so she says what I want her to. -evil laughter

* * *

**Round Two - Part Three**

They finally arrived at the lair, Zenigata waking up on the ride home and dragging himself in like some of the others. All that most wanted to do was to just take a shower, sit down and relax. What they got instead was a greeting form Stan.  
"Superheroes,'' he said, not looking all too happy. "I have to say that your performance on the last two tasks were anything but acceptional. Not only did most of you fail, you also let the enemy make a fool out of you."  
Most looked at him with a glance of disinterest.  
"Failures or not, I am interested to see what your thoughts are on the tasks. Please, fill out your mission reports."  
The laptops appeared, the nine taking them and writing out their thoughts and muses, some taking longer than others. Once done, they set them back on the table, watching as they disappeared.  
"I will now take some tim to look over what you have written and get back to you," Stan said, the TV turning off.  
"I had it," Lupin whined as he plopped himself onto the couch. "You just had to ruin it, didn't you?" He glared at Mr. X, who sat across from him on the other couch.  
"Me?" Mr. X scoffed. "This from someone who doesn't even know how to properly stack furniture."  
"What's in this, anyway?" Pycal asked, holding up the vial and tapping on it with his finger.  
"Dish soap," Melon sighed.  
"We almost got killed over dish soap?" Lupin asked in anger.  
"Yup," Jigen said as he sat next to Lupin and stared off.  
"Hmm, this Disco Ant seems to be a little off," Mamou said, the others staring at him. "What?"  
They all looked away and sighed, leaving Mamou clueless.  
The TV turned on. "I have read over your mission reports. Remember, these are here to help you learn, so don't take these too lightly."  
The screen changed to certain bits of info.  
"Evil Magic Stealer Witch is too bossy and big headed?!" Fujiko said, reading the fourth one down.  
Jigen laughed.  
"Does it say big headed?" Zenigata asked. "Hmm, I meant to type pig headed." He glared at her as she glared back.  
Jigen laughed more.  
"Come on, guys," Lupin said, sighing and looking back at the screen. "Insane Justice Cop, Super Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, and Super Magical Mofo Pimp perform well under pressure. Fire Bringer of Death is still a born leader." Lupin looked back and glared at him. "You're praising yourself, aren't you?"  
Pycal only smirked.  
"Crazed Samurai Dude is...insane," Lupin read slowly the last one.  
Goemon glared at Jigen.  
"Well, you are," Jigen muttered.  
"Superheroes," Stan said, appearing on the screen. "It's that time again. Meet me on the roof."  
The nine sighed, getting to their feet and making their way up to the roof. Once there they all took their places on the white squares, standing on the same ones they did the first round and facing the large television.  
"Superheroes," Stan said. "It seemed to me that some of you didn't seem to learn after your first time here. Crazed Samurai Dude, you handled the first task well, but I was a little..._disturbed_...by your apparent destructive technique in the lab. And then you seemed to take things a little too quick, not allowing your teammates enough time to act in getting the vial."  
Jigen and Melon glanced over at him.  
"You haven't seemed to improve or take hold of any advice anyone has given you," Stan said to Goemon. "Super Magical Mofo Pimp, you have shown great improvement from the last time. The way you helped your teammate, Insane Justice Cop, and showed your skills and agility, I am pleased by this." He smiled and nodded.  
"I try," Jigen said with a grin.  
"Insane Justice Cop, you showed more of yourself out there and took more of a lead role. And you didn't let your injuries hinder your team."  
"Thank you, sir," she said with a nod.  
"Fire Bringer of Death, you continue to amaze me with how well you handle these situations."  
Pycal got yet another smug look on his face.  
Stan then sighed, getting more serious. "Evil Magic Stealer Witch. Angry Guy of Anger. You were both great disappointments in each task. A huge difference from your first two tasks. It made me wonder if either of you really want to be here. Are your hearts in this at all?"  
Mr. X seemed angered by this while Fujiko just rolled her eyes.  
"Crazed Samurai Dude. Evil Magic Stealer Witch. Angry Guy of Anger. Please, step forward." Stan watched as they stepped off the white blocks and onto the red ones. "Crazed Samurai Dude, why should you stay in the lair?"  
Goemon bowed his head. "I am sorry for failing you. I will try my best to make myself an honorable warrior you can be proud of."  
Jigen and Lupin sighed at his response, almost embarrassed by it.  
"Okay," Stan said, not too sure of the answer he got. "Angry Guy of Anger, why should I let you stay?"  
"I thought we were playing the roles of ourselves in the first task, so I did that," he said. "As for the second task, I did sacrifice myself to help my team complete their objective."  
Stan nodded, impressed by the answer. "Evil Magic Stealer Witch, what makes you different from the other two?"  
"I'm more beautiful than they are," she said arrogantly. "Besides, these tasks haven't been challenging enough for me. I'm starting to get bored with the simplicity of it all."  
"Hmm." Stan nodded. "Again, this is a hard decision for me to make. Crazed Samurai Dude. Evil Magic Stealer Witch. Angry Guy of Anger."  
There was a long pause as Stan eyed each one.  
"The one leaving the lair tonight is..."


	8. Round Three Part One

It lives!

It always bugged me that this thing went unfinished, as I was always curious as to who would win. And now, four and a half years or so later, I want to continue it.

And even though it's been five or whatever years since this show existed and most people probably have no idea what it even was... xD And did Sci-Fi/SyFy even air the winners movies? I was always waiting for them to come on and I never saw them. Not that it matters now, but whatever. I thought of changing it to something else more current, but current reality shows suck ass. And hopefully I can come up with more wackier things for them to do. And get rid of the lame music theme, which I now find really gay. xD And I don't know what Stan would say, so I'm just making everything up.

I would like for this to continue the same, with readers picking who they think should be sent home, but if there aren't enough votes to decide, the loser will be picked with a random number picker, which is what I did with the last vote.

Looking at the comments from the last chapter, there was a vote each for Crazed Samurai Dude and Bringer of Magical... whatever Zenigata's name is. And he wasn't even up for a vote. xD Poor guy. Using a random number picker, the final vote was decided. And the loser is...

* * *

**Round Three Part One**

There was a long pause as Stan eyed each one.

"The one leaving the lair tonight is... Crazed Samurai Dude."

Lupin's and Jigen's spirits sunk. Their good friend was being sent home for being himself.

"Crazed Samurai Dude," Stan said, "I believe your heart is in the right place, but your actions speak for themselves. You must train harder, learn to restrain yourself, for in that clench moment you must be at your best. Your partners and the innocent civilians around you depend on that."

"I understand," Goemon said as he nodded. "I will train harder."

"I'm happy to hear that, but for now, I have to ask you to turn in your costume."

Goemon looked around in confusion. Was he supposed to walk around naked?

He stepped off the red square and was met by Lupin and Jigen, who gave him a hug and wished him well in his training. Fujiko was there, as well, to hug him and kiss his cheek, bidding him farewell as her eyes watered.

Goemon was confused by their reactions. Was he going somewhere they'd never get to go? Was he never seeing them again after this day? This was all so mystifying to him.

He walked over to the trash can and stood there staring at it. Without throwing anything in, a bright light surrounded him. When it faded he was still the same. He smiled and nodded to everyone who remained before he turned and walked away.

"Superheroes," Stan said in a upbeat manner as he adjusted himself in his comfy chair. "Just because the people of this city have been saved by the ever so foul and sinister dish soap, evil does not sleep. Return to the lair and rest up, for tomorrow is another day."

They said goodnight to Stan and left the roof, returning to the lair.

...

"So," Lupin said as he joined Jigen out on the balcony. "It's weird, you know?"

Jigen was busy sucking the life out of a cigarette, glancing over at Lupin.

"This place is so empty now," Lupin whined, almost to the point of breaking down.

Jigen stared at him in annoyance. "Geez, man, he's not dead. He's probably trying to find some rock to sit on for the next month or so."

Lupin sighed. "Yeah, he was funny like that."

Jigen smacked Lupin in the back of the head, breaking him from his mood.

"So," Lupin said happily, "You hungry?"

Jigen rolled his eyes, tossing the spent cigarette into the air and walking inside.

Lupin followed him like an excited puppy, talking nonstop about food.

Zenigata eyed him, annoyed by his mere presence. He wanted him to lose, but with him not on the show, there would be no way to keep an eye on him.

'I must do everything I can to keep him on, as long as I'm still here,' he thought.

Melon sat down across from him with some hot tea. "So, what's our plan?" she wondered, gently blowing on the surface of the amber liquid.

"Hey!" Lupin said loudly, pointing to the cup of tea. "You gonna drink that?" he asked, not waiting for an answer as he grabbed the cup and downed it.

Melon watched in confusion as he walked off, looking for something else to cram in his mouth.

Zenigata tensed in anger. How long must he live under the same roof as this guy and put up with the torture of not arresting him?

...

The group awoke the next day and were all rudely interrupted by Stan as they ate their breakfast.

"Superheroes," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "You all need to suit up and get down to the County Fair. It is of utmost importance. Excelsior!" he yelled while raising a clenched fist.

The screen went dark and everyone shrugged and continued on with their morning.

An hour later they were suited and sitting in the SUVs, sitting quietly as they neared the fairgrounds.

They stepped out of the vehicles and looked around, the fair goers stopping what they were doing to stare at the odd characters, mothers covering their childrens eyes so to not catch a glimpse of the scary beings that graced their presence.

The group stopped at the front by a large black screen and waited.

The screen came on and an annoyed Stan stared at them. He glanced at his watch and sighed.

None in the group seemed to care.

"Well, now that you're here..." Stan sighed and put on his cheery smile. "Today we will be testing you against what you fear the most. There will be times when you must face those fears, one pause meaning the death of you or of the innocents around you. You must not pause or falter. You must conquer the nightmares that plague you and become the true superheroes you are."

Some looked around nervously, thinking about which of their fears would be chosen.

Some were embarrassed, not wanting the others to know what scared them.

And the others didn't care, just wanting to get it over with.

"Superheroes," Stan said. "Follow the arrows and conquer your fears!"

The screen went dark and the group looked at the arrow on a nearby building.

Zenigata led the way, spotting the arrows and standing in front of the place his nightmares lay.

Mamou froze as he laid eyes on the large hideous thing looming over them. It's smile and flared diamond eyes and big red lips... Oh, how he hated clowns.

"Problem?" Lupin laughed as he noticed his behavior.

Mamou glared at him and then back up at the large clown head that made up the fun house.

The bright red clown hair stole a bit of his soul.

"Be strong," Mr. X whispered to him.

"Tch, wimp," Pycal said as he pushed his way passed.

"So, who wants to go first?" Fujiko wondered, not too sure about entering the building.

"I'll go," Lupin said, sure of himself. "Nothing scares me," he gloated.

The others thought he was bluffing, but oddly enough nothing really did scare him. Or rather he didn't let certain things get to him.

He walked to the entrance and disappeared through the black curtains.

The others waited, listening for any signs of distress.

Lupin enjoyed the wobbly walkway and the crazy bridge and the room of sponges. He enjoyed the large punching bags being slammed against his body, laughing as they knocked him down. He had fun in the room of mirrors. The hall of moldy cheese and the ceiling of socks were oddly enjoyable to him.

He sighed sadly as he stepped outside, his fun over and having to rejoin the group.

"What was it like?" Melon asked him.

"There weren't any spiders, were there?" Mr. X worried.

"What about snakes?" Fujiko asked, hoping the answer would be 'no'.

Lupin smiled and shrugged. "It wasn't bad. I wonder if we can go again?"

The others just stared blankly at him, knowing it was stupid for them to even get an opinion from him.

"I will go next," Zenigata said.

"No," Mamou said as he grabbed Zenigata's shirt. "I will enter this demon's mouth."

Mr. X patted Mamou on the back, giving him words of encouragement.

Zenigata nodded and stepped to the side.

Mamou whimpered the closer he got to the evil clown head, getting close to the curtain and stalling.

A pair of gloved hands came out and grabbed him, yanking him inside.

The others flinched as his blood curdling screams echoed from within.

"Was there a room full of clowns?" Melon wondered.

"Not that I remember," Lupin said as he stared at the building. "There used to be a hall of old cheese, though," he said with a satisfying smile as he burped.

Jigen rolled his eyes.

They all watched as a frazzled Mamou was carried out by the most evil looking clowns any of them had seen.

The group stepped back as the clowns approached, their snake-like red eyes sparkling in evil ways as they dumped his body to the pavement, cackling wildly as they ran back inside the building.

Zenigata stepped forward and with quick strides entered the fun house.

The others, except for Lupin and Mamou, watched and waited, Lupin suddenly finding himself lactose intolerant and running off to find a bathroom while Mamou laid on the ground, his body twitching as he muttered to himself.

Zenigata left the building sobbing uncontrollably.

Melon ran up to comfort him.

"Lupin died," Zenigata cried. He died and my life had no meaning!"

The others stared in annoyance at him as he sobbed loudly.

Mr. X was the next to enter.

The group heard loud shrieks, the sounds of breaking glass being all that followed.

Mr. X left the building, his clothes ripped and his skin cut and bleeding. "Mirrors," he muttered. "Everywhere was mirrors." He stared off and laughed in a crazy way.

Melon went next, in every room she entered there being a creepy guy who tried to molest her.

The others flinched as a barrage of gunfire sounded from within.

Sirens soon followed as ambulances raced to the scene.

Melon walked out, satisfied and happy she survived.

Jigen decided to go next. He stepped through the curtain and was met with walls and ceilings made of nothing but long and sharp needles.

The longer he stared, the more it seemed they were closing in on him.

Unable to deal with anymore, he ran out and back through the curtains.

"Screw that," he yelled as he stomped back to the group. "Screw that! The world can die around me for all I care! I am not going back in there!"

Having had enough of what this house of evil was bringing to those around him, Pycal stepped forward and burned the place to the ground.

"Oh, that's just great," Fujiko said as she glared at him. "I never even got to go!"

"Knowing that hell, you'd probably have to swim through poisonous snakes," Jigen said as he glared at the burning mess in front of him.

"Oh. Well... Good! Let it burn, then!" she said, thinking it the cruelest thing in the world to have her swim through snakes.

The group all left the fair, Pycal carrying a now passed out Mamou while Melon continued to console a still sobbing Zenigata. Lupin held his stomach as he moaned in pain, having to run off to use the bathroom again. Mr. X still contained the crazy look in his eyes as he rambled on about mirrors. Jigen was still angry while Fujiko was happy she was able to escape not entering the building. Pycal looked satisfied at having done in the evil place while Melon felt she had done the world a huge favor in ridding it of perverts.

They all got into the SUVs and made their way back to the lair.


	9. Round Three Part Two

These chapters are shorter and a lot more wackier than the others. But with those, as I said before, I was taking them all too serious. I like this way better.

And I don't know why I'm writing Lupin the way I've been writing him. It just seems to fit him some way. If he's ever voted off this story will get boring. xD

Also, with the other two elimination rounds, I had already known the three to be chosen during the second task, so I wrote them doing odd things that would make them be chosen. This time I'm going to pick them when I start writing the selection part in round three. That way I'm free to just do whatever with the characters. Less thinking for me and more wackiness for you to read. :D

* * *

**Round Three Part Two**

The special superhero screens in the SUVs came on quickly, Stan appearing quite panicked as something was happening.

"Superheroes," he said loudly. "We've got an emergency! The Universal Superhero Supercomputer Telecommunications Device inside of the rice factory is in danger of being destroyed!"

"Rice factory?" Zenigata said.

"That's my line," Jigen said in annoyance, his whole day now completely ruined.

"Oh no!" Lupin gasped. "The rice is gonna be destroyed! Hurry, driver! We have to save it!"

The others in the car with him stared blank-faced at him as he flailed his arms around.

"Riii~iiice!" he moaned sadly.

"Yes, well..." Stan didn't know how to act, Lupin obviously missing the most important part of his message.

"Quick, Pam," Lupin said as he pressed his face to the screen. "Where is this factory?!"

"It's Stan," Stan said, not amused.

"What would such a device be doing in a rice factory?" Mr. X wondered.

Luckily for Lupin, Mr. X was riding in the other car.

"There!" Lupin pointed, eyeing smoke billowing up into the sky.

The driver let out a short grunt as Lupin slammed his hand into the man's head, knocking him out.

The others in the car screamed as the car veered into oncoming traffic.

Lupin jumped into the drivers seat and swerved back into his lane, stepping on the gas and speeding around cars, making his way towards the smoke.

"What are they doing?" Pycal wondered as he watched the other car speed past them.

Mr. X shrugged. "Follow that car," he ordered the driver.

"No," Stan yelled. "That's just a house on fire! ignore it! I mean...! The factory is the other way! It's on the-"

Jigen turned off the screen, tired of all the yelling.

Lupin turned the corner into a residential area and slammed the brakes, stopping the car in front of the burning home.

"I'll save you!" he said as he bolted from the car.

The people inside were happy to hear that, although not really happy to see that their hero was a man in a giant parka.

Even less happy to see the others there to help were a pimp, a cowgirl, a witch and a man dressed as a girl scout.

They wondered if dying in the fire would be less embarrassing for them.

Lupin burst through the front door, using the overly padded sleeves of his jacket to shield himself from the flames that came towards him.

Zenigata quickly got the others together and devised a plan, everyone doing what they were told.

Jigen and Fujiko made their way into the house by way of the front door. They quickly started to look for survivors on the first floor.

Melon ran and stepped on Zenigata's back, propelling herself up and onto the second level roof.

"It'll be okay," she told the ones hanging out the window.

'Idiots could have just gone onto the roof and jumped off,' Zenigata thought as he watched Melon pulling the owners children onto the roof.

The other SUV arrived and stopped across from the house.

"Do you want to help?" Pycal wondered, loving the sight of something burning.

"They seem to have it under control," Mr. X said as he sat back and relaxed.

Mamou babbled incoherently as the drool pooled onto his shirt.

The fire trucks arrived and started to spray water on the flames, Melon leading the ones she saved towards the firemen so they could get medical treatment as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

Jigen and Fujiko came out of the blazing house holding the family's pets, Fujiko holding a hamster cage while Jigen struggled to get the two cats from his head and face, yelling as he tried to pull their claws from his skin.

Lupin came out of the house as he cradled a bag of rice, setting it down on the grass as he kneeled over it. "You're gonna be okay," he panted.

The bag of rice laid motionless.

"Oh my god," Lupin yelled out. "It's not breathing!" He started to perform CPR on the bag. "Stay with me! Stay with me!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him.

Zenigata growled in annoyance. A flick of the wrist and a Thin Mint to the head later, and unconscious Lupin was being dragged into the car.

...

"Stan," Disco Ant said as he sat bored in the factory. "I know we're supposed to be enemies and all that, but where exactly are these idiot contestants of yours?"

Metal Moth sat of the floor and twiddled his thumbs.

Stan sighed. "Saving a family from a house fire."

"A house fire? Isn't that the fire departments job?" Disco Ant was exasperated, standing and pacing. "I mean, I've got this hollow plastic prop with LED lights inside of it just waiting to be destroyed! Now everything is ruined!" He turned and kicked Metal Moth in the ribs.

Metal Moth grunted and keeled over in pain.

"I'm a very serious villain here! Did they not understood my brilliant deadly plot using dish soap?! Do they not know what I'm capable of?!" He looked over as Metal Moth moaned. "Shut up!" he said, giving him another swift kick to the ribs.

Stan sighed. "Well, I've got word they're on their way. So, another five minutes and we can do this scene."

"It's too late," Disco Ant pouted as he plopped down in the chair. "The mood is gone, now."

Stan sighed once again.

...

"There it is," Zenigata said as they drove up to a large building.

On the side of the building was a brand new sign that said "RICE FACTORY" in big blocky letters.

Lupin was the first inside. There was no way he was going to let more rice die on his watch.

Everyone else followed, except for Mamou, who was left inside the car.

Jigen and Melon began to shoot large bags made to look like people.

As the bags were shot, they bled rice from the wounds they suffered.

"No!" Lupin cried. "You're killing rice!" He ran and cradled one of the bags, which had fallen over, the white grains spraying all over the floor.

Zenigata flicked both wrists, a Samoa and a Tagalong aimed precisely at the side of Lupin's skull quickly rendering the man unconscious.

Mr. X spotted a large mallet and grinned evilly. He grabbed it and looked for something to destroy.

Pycal ran by stacks of pallets and burned them to the ground as he passed.

He and Mr. X then made their way up old wooden stairs and through a door.

Fujiko followed, seeing what looked to be an office and wondering if there was a safe inside, quickly making a mad dash towards the door.

"There," Pycal said as he pointed at the odd black boxy device sitting in the middle of the room.

Mr. X laughed evilly and he ran towards it, mallet over his head as got ready to strike the prop.

Disco Ant continued to pout as he watched the men run towards the thing they were there to protect. His eyes widened as he watched Mr. X slam his mallet into the device, bits of plastic spraying all around him. "I wanted to destroy it," Disco Ant growled, now mad that his one bit of fun was gone.

Pycal looked towards Disco Ant and pointed a finger at him, flames shooting out at the villainous man.

Disco Ant shrieked and grabbed Metal Moth, using him as a shield against the flames as he made his escape. "Next time," he yelled threateningly.

Zenigata and Melon got to the room and watched as Mr. X and Pycal destroyed the prop.

"No! What are you doing?" Melon ran forward and stopped their madness. "That's what we were here to save!"

Zenigata walked up and stood with the others, all staring down at the broken and burned plastic.

Jigen walked up to them, staring down as one of the lights flickered and buzzed. He pulled out his gun and shot it, putting it out of its misery. He then removed his hat and put it to his chest, paying his respects to the "computer".

Fujiko walked out of the office as she stuffed wads of money into her bra. Noticing the others, she joined them. "So, it got destroyed after all," she shrugged in disinterest.

Lupin moaned as he rubbed his head that was throbbing in pain. He walked up and joined the others, everyone now staring down at the wreckage. "Did we save the world?" he wondered, pulling grains of rice from his hair and staring in confusion at them. "Why do I have rice all over me?" he wondered.

The others didn't answer as they glanced momentarily at him.

"Well," Melon sighed. "At least we saved that family from their burning home."

"Yeah, that's true," Zenigata said, the trip not all wasted.

"Superheroes," Stan said unhappily from a large screen hanging on the wall.

"Why are there TVs everywhere?" Lupin asked, jealous and making a note to steal more TVs for his house.

"It seems the Universal Superhero Supercomputer Telecommunications Device has been lost," Stan sighed. "Return to the lair and prepare for your evaluations."

The team looked defeated and, after giving the ruined device one more look, turned and headed out of the building.


	10. Round Three Part Three

Elimination time! :D Voting is the same. Just say in the comments who you think should go from the three selected and after a week I'll see who got the most votes. This time, though, it doesn't matter the reason you pick them. The reasons could be because they did horribly or because their belt buckle clashes with their shoelaces. It doesn't matter.

* * *

**Round Three Part Three**

They returned to the lair, all exhausted from their long day of horrors and hard work.

"Well, that was interesting," Melon stated as she plopped down on the couch.

"My mouth tastes funny," Lupin said as he gave a disgusted look. "What did I eat?" He stared at Jigen and waited for an answer.

Jigen just stared at him in silence.

Lupin walked to the kitchen and got something to drink.

"I wanna go home," Mamou, now awake and aware of his surroundings, whined as he sat at the kitchen table and threw his head down on it.

Lupin grinned as he guzzled maple syrup. "Well, you were the most useless, so if you're lucky you'll get sent home tonight."

Zenigata gripped a box of cookies tightly, Melon placing her hand on it and stopping him from knocking the thief out again. "Not the time," she sighed.

Fujiko was busy in the bathroom, door locked as she counted the money she had taken, cackling as she hit the five thousand mark.

"Superheroes," Stan said as the large screen on the wall turned on. He did not look happy, but he also didn't look unhappy. "It is now time for your evaluation reports. You know what to do."

The long table under the screen was surrounded by a bright light. When it faded there were eight laptops sitting on it.

"Remember to be thorough," Stan said, the screen then going black.

The eight took their laptops and began to write down their thoughts.

When they were finished and had set the laptops back on the table, another light shone and then faded, the table now empty.

Stan appeared on the screen again. "Thank you, superheroes. I will now take a few minutes to look over your reports."

The screen went black.

The others sat silent and bored as they waited, having nothing to really say to each other, the only thing they were really interested in was to see if they had been talked about.

Stan returned. "I have your report results right here. Read them and do try and take all of this seriously," he said, almost begging them to do so.

The screen changed and had four sentences that had been turned in on it.

Zenigata stood and took charge of reading them off. "Number one, Time Traveller does not handle evil clowns very well."

He stared at it in confusion and then glanced back at the others.

Pycal shrugged. "Well, he doesn't."

"I wonder if there are clowns in the future," Lupin said as he stared off in thought.

Zenigata sighed and looked back at the screen. "Number two, Angry Guy of Anger cannot hold in his anger."

"It's true," Mr. X sighed. "I've had numerous psychiatrists in the past and they-"

"Moving on," Zenigata interrupted. "Number three, Insane Justice Cop cares about the well-being of others."

Melon grinned nervously as Zenigata glared at her.

"I don't think you're supposed to praise yourself," he muttered. "And finally, number four, Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo is a useless idiot and should rot in jail."

"Hey," Lupin yelled. "It doesn't even say anything close to that!"

Zenigata shrugged and sat back down.

Stan appeared on the screen and looked at them very seriously. "Superheroes, it is now time for one of you to go home. Please meet me upstairs."

The eight contestants stood and began the trek to the roof.

When they got to the roof they all stood on their white squares, two of them now empty and dark.

The screen on the billboard in front of them turned on, Stan, looking a bit happier to be getting rid of yet another useless superhero, smiling at them.

"Superheroes," he said, "You know the drill. I'm looking for somebody heroic, somebody unafraid to face down and defeat evil. And you aren't making that easy for me."

The eight looked a bit confused by this.

"So, I will now tell you what I thought of your performances today." Stan got a little more comfy in his chair and sipped from a bottle of water. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, you have very odd fears. And you handle them horribly. I expect you, at this point, to not cry like a little girl when you know that all along Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo is not dead. It's embarrassing," he said in disgust.

Lupin laughed as Zenigata stared down, ashamed of his behavior.

"You did take charge, though," Stan continued, "when it came to the house fire, being calm in the face of disaster and leading your team to a successful rescue."

"Thank you, sir," Zenigata said as he wiped away a tear of joy from his right eye.

Stan nodded. "Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo..." Stan just stared at him in astonishment and shook his head. "Angry Guy of Anger."

"Hey," Lupin said in annoyance, not liking being skipped over.

"I think it's better he didn't say anything," Jigen whispered to him.

Stan ignored the two as he kept talking. "You caused yourself harm in order to fight your fears, even though mirrors would do nothing to harm you or those around you. You showed bravery and selflessness, though, and that is to be commended. Being the one to strike the Universal Superhero Supercomputer Telecommunications Device with a mallet, however, was a horrible mistake that could cause big consequences to the world in the future."

Mr. X did not look happy. "In my defense, Stan, I didn't know if that really was what you said it was. After what you put us through in that funhouse..." His eye twitched, his arm motioning to Mamou. "You almost killed him! With clowns! How do I trust the words of a man who does such vile things?! For all I knew, that box could have released a plague of clowns on the world!"

Stan just stared in silence as he ranted. When it seemed that he was done, he continued. "Time Traveller... yeah. Insane Justice Cop, you were very brave and heroic, but next time, try not to kill the funhouse employees."

Melon laughed nervously.

"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, you weren't brave or heroic at all. You bring shame to pimps all across the world."

Jigen shrugged as he lit up a cigarette.

"Evil Magic Stealer Witch, you showed you are not brave enough to swim through pools of poisonous snakes and you stole money from that company. The cops will be back later to retrieve what you stole, by the way. Be thankful I'm not having you arrested."

"But, that's my money," she cried out in anger. "I stole it fair and square!"

Stan glared at her. "And finally, Fire Bringer of Death, you certainly lived up to your name today. The owners of the funhouse have contacted their lawyers and you will be getting a visit from them later. And also the owners of the factory, which ended up burning down shortly after you left it, the cause being the stacks of burning pallets that were lit by the embers of the other stacks of pallets you chose to burn upon entering the building."

"Wood is meant to be burnt," Pycal said as he glared at Stan. "Lawyers, too," he grinned evilly.

Stan sighed and slumped down in his chair. "The time has come for me to pick which three will be brought up for elimination. When I call your name, step forward. You will have a chance to tell me why you shouldn't be sent home."

Everyone stood silently and waited for the names to be called.

"Angry Guy of Anger."

Mr. X shook with anger as he stepped forward and stood on one of the blocks, which glowed red the second he touched it.

"Super Magical Mofo Pimp."

"No," Lupin gasped. He jumped forward and dove at one of Jigen's legs, hanging onto it tightly as Jigen tried to walk to the squares.

Jigen managed to shake his distraught friend off and quickly got onto the now red block.

"Insane Justice Cop."

"What?" Melon said in shock. "But, I probably did the best out of anyone here!"

"Just get on the block," Stan sighed.

She huffed up and stomped onto the block.

"Angry Guy of Anger, why should you stay in the lair?"

Mr. X narrowed his eyes until they were almost closed, his teeth clenched so tightly he was unable to speak.

"Okay... Super Magi-"

"Gaahhh!" Mr. X erupted. "I should stay here because I am not an evil man like you! Forcing people into a room of mirrors and attempting to kill others with objects of pure evil! Clowns are not funny! Why are they portrayed as funny?! And you didn't lace that rotten old cheese that Lupin ate with poison! We could have been rid of that fool by now forever!"

Stan watched blank-faced as Mr. X panted for breath after his long continuous rant. "Okay. Super Magical Mofo Pimp, why should you stay?"

"Stay?" he said.

"Yes, stay," Stan said with a look of boredom. "Why should you stay?"

"Well, I kind of agree with him," he said, pointing to a still irate Mr. X. "You are kind of evil. I mean, the needle thing, you don't go there. That's messed up. And I also saved those cats from being barbecued. And I put that poor light out of its misery and said a prayer for it, even though I'm not religious. So, all in all, I thought I did pretty good."

"That's fine," Stan nodded. "Insane Justice Cop, why should I not send you home?"

"I seriously do hope you're joking about calling on me," she laughed. "Because I did everyone a favor by getting rid of those perverted men in that nightmare house. And I saved that nice family. And sure, I wasn't quite fast enough to save the computer from being destroyed, but I did honestly think those bags were evil serial rapists."

Lupin sniffed sadly, remembering the dead rice as it lay before him.

Fujiko looked over at him and patted his back, whispering that everything was going to be okay.

"I mean," Melon continued as she spoke loudly, "he burnt everything down!" She motioned an open hand at Pycal. "And he was completely worthless throughout this whole thing," she said of Mamou. "And him," she said while pointing at a crying Lupin, 'he's just... he's just weird! And that woman there stole money!"

"You're just jealous," Fujiko said with a smirk.

"And yet, I'm up here and they are over there, safe for another day! I hardly think that any of this is fair!"

"I have my reasons," Stan muttered. "Okay, well, this is a very hard decision for me." For Stan it really was, as he knew he could only send one of them home and not all three.

"Angry Guy of Anger... Super Magical Mofo Pimp... Insane Justice Cop..."

Everyone stared at Stan as he stared at them, the tension rising as another person was about to leave the lair.

"The person leaving tonight is..."


	11. Round Four Part One

Since both Angry Guy of Anger and Insane Justice Cop got a vote each, I did random number picking and figured out who was going to leave.

Chapter turned out kind of rushed. I guess because in a way it was. xD If I didn't get it done now it'd never get updated.

* * *

**Round Four Part One**

Stan eyed each person with a serious stare.

"The person leaving tonight is... Insane Justice Cop."

"What?!" Melon growled as her body tensed.

Mr. X chuckled at her reaction.

Jigen just stared off into space, not really knowing what was going on.

"This is..." Melon stared at Stan as she began to laugh, what little of her sanity that had survived living with the others quickly dissolving into madness. "This is a joke!" She looked at the others and laughed.

"How sad," Fujiko said in a most uncaring way.

Zenigata tried to hide his joy, then turned to Lupin with an evil grin on his face.

Lupin, sensing he was being evilly stared at, glanced over at Zenigata. "Um..." He looked over at Melon and then back at Zenigata, who looked even more sinister. "Uh oh."

It was only then he realized that is was Melon who was keeping Zenigata from killing him while he slept.

"Insane Justice Cop," Stan said as he sat up in his comfiest of overly comfy chairs. "Well, I don't know what to say. I guess you just didn't live up to your name very well. Well, until now..." He stared at her crazed eyes and back away, as if she had suddenly gained the powers to jump through TV screens.

Melon balled her hands into fists, her crazed expression turning into one of crazed madness. "I... will KILL... ALL OF YOU!" she screamed while cackling as she turned towards the others behind her.

Zenigata sighed and, seeing drastic measures were needed, threw a whole box of Thin Mints at her head.

Melon fell off the box and onto the roof with a thud.

Mr. X and Jigen then dragged her to the trash can, Jigen tossing away her hat and a glow surrounding her, leaving her in her crime hunting clothes. The two handed her off to one of the men working on the set and walked back to their boxes.

"Superheroes," Stan said with a long sigh. "You may have put the world in great harm today. Let's not completely cause the destruction of the planet tomorrow, okay? I'll see you then, unfortunately."

The others, not even listening, got of their boxes and began the short walk back to the lair.

...

"Okay." Lupin stared down at the giant blob of ground beef before him. He cracked his knuckles and wriggled his fingers as he prepared to work his magic.

The others sat around, waiting for their burgers, if they were ever going to be made.

Lupin chopped at the meat once with an open hand, splitting it in half. He then got his other hand in there and pulled the beef apart. "Guys, look," Lupin said excitedly. "I'm parting the red meat! Just like... that guy! In that book! Or was it a movie?" He stared up in thought.

"It was both," Mamou screamed from the other room. "Hurry up with the food, already!"

Pycal sighed and glanced disinterested at Mamou. "And you allowed this idiot to destroy your machine. Pathetic."

"Oh, like you didn't almost die from him," Mamou snarled.

Mr. X decided to remain quiet.

Zenigata laughed silently to himself. Now there nobody to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. He had free reign to spread chaos where he saw fit. And his main target was now in the kitchen flipping burgers.

Lupin hummed happily as he stared down at the sizzling patties. He was thrilled his good friend got to stay. In a way he was sad to see Melon go, as she seemed like the only one keeping the lair from completely falling apart.

"Oh well," he sighed, his smile fading as he remembered the look Zenigata had given him.

He knew he would be needing booby traps. Lots and lots of booby traps.

...

Lupin woke up and gasped as Zenigata stood outside the trap perimeter. He backed away as the Inspector gave him an evil smile.

"Soon," Zenigata said ominously before walking off.

Lupin threw the covers over himself and curled up in bed.

It would be later that morning when the group was first contacted by Stan. Well, it was actually a crudely drawn stick figure of Stan, but nobody really noticed anything different.

"Superheroes," a voice, which was really Metal Moth's as he was ducked behind the chair, said in a badly done impersonation.

"Hey Dan," Lupin yawned as he walked by the screen.

"Um, hello there, uh, big coated native guy," Metal Moth stuttered.

"Wait a second," Lupin said as he stopped and stepped back in front of the screen.

Metal Moth gulped nervously.

"Have you lost weight, Dan?" Lupin wondered.

"Uh, why yes, yes I have. But, uh, that, um, that isn't why I'm here." Metal Moth breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at the script Disco Ant had given him. "I need for everyone to get down to warehouse 13C at the pier. It is very important stuff! Excelsior!"

The screen went blank, Metal Moth only hoping the group was stupid enough to fall for it and show up at the location.

...

The team, after they ate and relaxed and watched some TV, got into their vehicles and took off for the location.

Disco Ant sighed as he heard tires screeching to a stop outside the large wooden doors. "Some superheroes you've got their, Stan," he said as he glanced over his shoulder.

Stan, tied up to a chair and his mouth duct taped, muffled a response.

The doors flew open and the superheroes, led by Zenigata, who suddenly decided he was their leader, ran into the mostly empty warehouse.

"You're an hour late," Disco Ant growled as he shook with anger.

"We had things to do," Lupin said with a shrug.

"Stan," Zenigata yelled, being the only one to notice the man tied up and struggling to free himself.

"Not another step," Disco Ant said as he stepped forward, blocking the path between the group and Stan.

Zenigata glared at the villain and challenged him, taking a step forward.

Disco Ant shook even more in anger. "Oh, now you're tempting me! Take another step! I dare you!"

"He's serious," Mr. X remarked. "I don't think you should."

It was too late, though, as Zenigata took another step towards Disco Ant.

Disco Ant stepped forward and glared at Zenigata.

Zenigata glared more menacingly and took yet another step forward.

"Oooh," Disco Ant said in a high pitched voice as he stomped his feet. "Now you've done it!" he shrieked.

"Good job, leader," Pycal muttered. "What brilliant plan do you have now?"

"Shut up!" Zenigata spun and threw cookie after cookie at Pycal.

"Food," Lupin yelled happily, diving in front of each cookie and catching them in his mouth.

Pycal stood unmoved and glared at Lupin as he chewed the cookies and waited for more.

"Enough," Disco Ant screamed. "I am the villain! You have to fear me! And because you don't, your leader is going to pay!" He cackled evilly and motioned to Metal Moth, who stood on a platform above where Stan sat.

Metal Moth nodded and hit a switch, the large hose hanging above Stan starting to seep honey, the sticky liquid pouring all over the man and coating him.

"Release the bears!" Disco Ant laughed.

"Bears?" Jigen wondered.

Stan struggled more desperately as the sides of two large boxes fell with a thud to the floor.

The superheroes stood silently and stared at the growling grizzlies as they slowly crept from the boxes that had once held them.

The team smiled evilly in unison, everyone pulling out weapons and yelling as they charged the bears.

They shot, slashed, punched, clawed, kicked and torched the poor beasts.

Luckily for the bears they were mechanical.

It didn't matter to the superheroes, though, continuing on even as the metal scraps and fake fur and bolts flew through the air.

Stan could only slump his shoulders and sigh. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, a feeling he got on his right shoulder making him open his eyes once again and watch as Lupin was bent over and licking the honey off his jacket.

Lupin paid no attention to the man as he continued licking up the sweet substance and wishing he had some sort of sweet bun to go with it.

Disco Ant and Metal Moth could only stand in disbelief as this was all going on around them.

Feeling a presence behind him Metal Moth froze and then slowly turned, shrieking as Pycal was floating above.

Pycal narrowed his eyes at the small man and shot flames at him.

Metal Moth yelled and ran forward, crashing through the railing of the platform and falling with a thud to the floor below. Still on fire he stood and ran in circles.

The burning embers from his clothes floated into the air as he ran, the glowing bits eventually landing and causing larger fires which soon exploded in size and began to consume the building.

"You idiot," Disco Ant yelled at him. He grabbed a bucket of water and put his sidekick out, grabbing him and the two two fleeing the building as the roof began to collapse around them.

"We need to get out of here," Fujiko said as she stared above her in worry. She ran over and grabbed a still licking Lupin and pulled him with her as she ran to the door.

The group burst through the flames and inhaled the fresh air as they stood outside and watched the warehouse burn down.

"Beautiful," Pycal sighed happily.

"Well, that was a waste of an afternoon," Jigen muttered. "I could have been sleeping."

"Shut up, you baby," Fujiko said as she glared at him.

The group turned from the fireball and walked towards the cars they arrived in.

"Hey, aren't we forgetting something?" Mamou wondered, pausing before he got inside the vehicle.

The others paused as well, their eyes staring off into nothing as they thought.

"No, I don't think we are," Zenigata said.

The group got into the cars and the cars drove off, none of the superheroes noticing the large groups of production members scrambling inside the burning warehouse to rescue Stan.

"Hey, guys," Lupin said excitedly. "We should go to the boardwalk and eat stuff!"

"No, Lupin, we're goi-"

"Driver," Lupin said as he cut off Zenigata. "To the boardwalk!"

The driver, not wanting to be knocked out again, complied.


	12. Round Four Part Two

Wrote this in the last hour and am too tired to read it over for mistakes, so hopefully there aren't a lot of them. I know there are some words I used that don't quite make sense in the context they are used in, but I couldn't think of the words I wanted to use.

* * *

**Round Four Part Two**

The group got back to the lair later that day, Lupin hyper and unable to shut up as his body was filled with a vast amount of sugar from the fried-everything he ate at the boardwalk.

The others got to the point they could ignore him and went about their business.

The TV came on and a burnt up and bandaged Stan did his best to compose himself.

"Dan!" Lupin yelled. "We went to the boardwalk and there was this stand and it had honey buns and I thought of you and then we went on the rollercoaster and this kid in the front threw up and it went all over this old lady and she was so mad but it was hilarious and I laughed and she yelled at me in some weird language that I said was Latvian but Pycal said was Swedish and did you know they make deep fried ice cream bars because they do and they are really good and also the deep fried Snickers bars that I ate six of after I had the biggest cup of soda I have ever seen and then I-"

The others stopped everything they were doing as the silence was too much for them. They all turned and looked at Lupin as he stared off blankly.

Lupin, the sugar catching up to him, fell with a thud to the floor.

The others sighed in relief.

"Finally," Fujiko said.

"I thought you said it'd take a few minutes," Mamou said as he glared at Jigen.

Jigen shrugged.

Stan coughed. His cough was all for not as nobody noticed him. He coughed again. And again. And again, until finally someone noticed him.

"Oh, it's you," Mr. X said as he went back to the article he was reading.

"I want you all to know that Disco Ant found me because you allowed the Universal Superhero Supercomputer Telecommunications Device to be destroyed," Stan said, glaring at everyone in the room.

They paid no attention to him, no amount of concern in any of their bodies.

Stan got madder. "And now Disco Ant has plans for the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray!"

Fujiko yawned, licking her index finger and flipping another page in the fashion magazine she looked through.

Zenigata, the only one with a sense of duty to do what was right, stood in front of the TV with a serious expression. "Tell us what we need to do to stop Disco Ant."

Stan was happy that at least one person seemed to care. "Well, the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray needs three things to make it operational. It needs the Super Atomic Energy Tube, the Red Super Switch, and fuel."

The others looked up, finding it weird that there was no special name for the fuel.

"Fuel?" Jigen said.

"Not the Super Fuel of Doom?" Mr X asked.

"Or the Super Combustible Fuel?" Pycal said.

"Or the-"

"It's fuel," Stan yelled, cutting Mamou off. "It's just fuel, okay?!"

All except Zenigata and Fujiko looked down uncomfortably.

"Now," Stan said as he took a deep breath. "These items are all in three different locations. I will need for you to split off into groups and get these items before Disco Ant and his ruthless sidekick Metal Moth are able to obtain them and get the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray active and working."

A map came up on the screen, showing a block in the industrial area of the city. A bright red light flashed and pinged over a warehouse. Another flashed and pinged over an old factory. And the last one flashed and pinged in an old abandoned rail yard.

"Break off into groups and head to these locations," Stan said. "You must hurry. Time is of the essence."

The TV turned off and Zenigata looked back at the others. "Lupin, you're coming with me," he barked.

Lupin was still passed out on the floor.

"We're going to the factory," Mr. X said as he, Pycal and Mamou sat together.

Jigen and Fujiko were unhappy, the two glaring at each other.

"We're going to the warehouse," Fujiko said.

"No, we're going to the rail yard," Jigen yelled.

"Warehouse!"

"Rail yard!"

"Enough," Zenigata yelled. "You two are going to the warehouse!"

Fujiko stuck her tongue out at Jigen and crossed her arms over her chest.

Jigen tensed in anger.

All having their orders they left the lair, each group getting driven to their locations.

...

"I swear I didn't mean it, whatever it was I did," Lupin screamed as he ran down old rusted railroad tracks.

Zenigata chased after him, a sadistic grin on his face as he threw rock hard stale cookies in Lupin's direction.

Lupin winced in pain as the cookies pelted him. "I'm sorry," he wailed, running for his life.

He dodged in between the rotting train cars, weaving in and out as he snaked around large piles of wood and crates.

Zenigata kept up, the large parka not doing Lupin any favors as it was easy to spot from miles away.

A cookie slammed against the back of Lupin's head, Lupin stopping in mid-run before collapsing to the ground unconscious.

Zenigata laughed evilly as he ran up to the thief's limp body. "Now, to get my revenge," he said with an evil cackle.

"I'm afraid that I have the last laugh, you bumbling superheroes," Metal Moth said as he perched precariously on the end of a dilapidated crane, the metal creaking underneath his feet.

"Metal Moth," Zenigata growled as he glared up at the man.

"Looking for this?" Metal Moth laughed as he held up the red plastic gallon container, FUEL written on the side of it.

Zenigata reached for a cookie, but found he had used them all on Lupin.

Metal Moth laughed, nimble feet leaping from the crane to the ground, the man in the odd Moth costume running as the crane collapsed behind him, the dust obscuring him from view.

Zenigata growled in anger. He had failed because of Lupin. 'Will it always be this way?' he wondered as his outlook on life turned dour once again.

He had no answer, just the raging impulse to kick Lupin, which he did over and over until he pulled a muscle and had to limp back to the car.

...

"We're going this way," Fujiko growled. She had never wanted to kill a person as much as she wanted to kill Jigen at that moment.

"No, we're going this way," Jigen yelled as he grabbed her arm and tugged her to the room he wanted to search.

"We were already there!" Fujiko tugged her arm until it hurt, the more she struggled the tighter Jigen's grasp got.

"And we're going there agai-"

Fujiko, now free, looked on in pleasure as Jigen doubled over in pain from the swift kick she gave his nuts.

"You bitch," Jigen said, his attempt at being angry failing as he gasped for breath.

Fujiko laughed and skipped off.

The room she wanted to search was large and dark, the perfect place to hide something as small as a Red Super Switch.

She crept forward, looking around cautiously, never seeing the large box as it crashed down on top of her.

"Ahahaha," Disco Ant laughed loudly as he jumped on the splintered wood covering a knocked out Fujiko and jumped up and down on the debris. "You will get in my way no more!"

Jigen limped into the room and was just barely able to make out someone in a familiar outfit jumping up and down.

"And as for you," Disco Ant said as he pointed at Jigen.

Jigen didn't see the attack, but he felt it, the large metal pulley on a chain swinging with great speeds and colliding into his crotch.

Disco Ant jumped with joy as Jigen fainted from the pain. "And now I am one step closer to complete madness and mayhem," he laughed as he held up the Red Super Switch, bringing the simple red plastic button on a small square box to his lips and kissing it.

He scurried from the warehouse, giggling the whole time.

...

"You have been defeated by Lupin twice," Mamou said to Pycal. "And so I think I should lead on this mission."

"You were beat by him twice, as well," Pycal growled.

"We were all beat by Lupin twice," Mr. X yelled.

"Hmm, you're right," Mamou said as he stared off in thought.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Pycal wondered.

"Too simple," Mr. X said.

The group was silent as they thought.

Although they had arrived at their location forty minutes prior, they hadn't gotten any farther than the front door, their discussion on who should be the leader on the task beginning when they all said they were going to open the door.

"Eenie meenie miney moe?" Mr. X suggested.

"What are you, two?" Pycal scoffed.

"We could draw straws," Mamou shrugged.

"There's only three of us," Pycal said. "Too easy to cheat."

"What if we had a bunch of straws?" Mr. X said. "That way it wouldn't be as easy if we just had three."

"That would work," Mamou nodded.

They had all agreed on a way to choose their leader when they looked around and realized their was nothing to use as straws in the area.

"Musical chairs?" Pycal suggested.

"No chairs," Mamou sighed.

"What about a dance-off?" Mr. X said.

Pycal and Mamou glared silently at him. They weren't about to make fools of themselves in some silly competition.

They then looked at themselves, realizing they already were.

"Your costume is ridiculous," Pycal sneered to Mamou. "It makes no sense."

"And yours does?"

"Of course it does! It's perfectly fitting!"

"Of what? A circus clown?"

"I'm afraid that circus clowns aren't as ridiculous looking as you three are," Disco Ant said as he smirked at the group.

The three looked up at their enemy and his sidekick as they stood on the roof of the factory.

"I fear that you idiots have wasted too much time on your silly discussion," Disco Ant said.

Metal Moth laughed as he held up the Super Atomic Energy Tube, which looked like a fuse, but a foot in length.

"You have all failed and now I have everything I need to make the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray operational!" Disco Ant twirled in joy while laughing. "Death and destruction awaits!"

The three only stared as the two villains ran off. The two now nowhere in sight the three focused their gazes on each other.

"This is all your fault," Pycal growled to Mr. X.

"My fault? Don't be ridiculous! This is because you-"

"You're both idiots," Mamou yelled. "If you would have let me lead then none of this would have happened!"

"Let you lead," Pycal scoffed. "We'd probably be dead by now if we did something so stupid."

Mamou puffed in anger.

"That is why I should have led," Mr. X said.

Soon the three were talking over each other, their voices raising with every word as they got nowhere in their arguments over why one was better than the others.

...

Meanwhile, in Disco Ant's secret underground lab, the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray was complete, the machine buzzing as it warmed up.

"Our time has finally come," Disco Ant said.

Metal Moth grinned while rubbing his hands together in an evil fashion.

Disco Ant began to laugh, Metal moth joining as loud maniacal laughter soon filled the lab.


	13. Round Four Part Three

Another quickly written chapter. And a short one. And elimination time! :D

* * *

**Round Four Part Three**

The air in the lair was thick as the group returned.

Mamou, Pycal and Mr. X refused to even look at each other.

Zenigata sat in anger as he mulled over missed opportunities.

Fujiko hogged the bathroom as she took a very long and relaxing bath.

Jigen laid in pain on the couch, a bag of ice on his crotch.

Lupin sat half asleep at the table as he held a bag of frozen peas to his head.

The TV turned on, Stan glaring down at the superheroes. "Superheroes," he said through clenched teeth. "It is now time for your evaluation."

Nothing else was said as the TV turned off and the laptops appeared.

The laptops were not touched, however, Lupin and Jigen in too much pain to move, Fujiko still in the bath, Zenigata still staring off in thought and Mamou, Pycal and Mr. X off in separate rooms and doing their own things.

The TV came back on, Stan seeing the laptops were still on the table. He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Get on the roof," he said, very close to walking away from the whole show.

"Do we have to?" Lupin whined, his head still throbbing.

"Yeah, I'm kind of in-"

"Get on the roof," Stan yelled, cutting Jigen off.

Everyone took notice as Stan's voice shook the walls. Fearing the man's wrath, they all scrambled to prepare themselves for the elimination.

Ten minutes later they all stood on their white square, their eyes staring up at the large screen before them.

Stan stared down at the seven contestants left and sighed. "Where to begin..."

"I find that the beginning is the best-" Lupin began to say.

"Shut up!" Stan glared at Lupin and then at the others. "You let your enemy trick you. And then after being humiliated by him, you left me in a burning building as you ran off to save yourselves!"

"That's what we forgot," Mamou said.

"And then," Stan continued, "you allowed your own personal feelings towards each other affect the way your last task went, each one of you allowing Disco Ant to obtain the parts for a very powerful weapon."

"Hey," Lupin said as he glared at Pycal. "You said you got your part."

"Idiot," Pycal muttered.

"To say I am disappointed would be an understatement," Stan said as he controlled his anger. He glanced at each person and began at one end of the line. "Evil Magic Stealer Witch," he said as he glared at Fujiko. "I guess you did a good job in pulling your colleague from the burning warehouse, even though you did completely overlook the fast that I was tied up and right in front of you. But in your second task you abused and attacked brutally your partner, allowing you to almost get yourself killed and letting the Red Super Switch to fall into the hands of your enemy."

Lupin gasped. "You were almost killed? No!" He jumped from his block and ran to her with open arms.

Fujiko wanted none of that and gave him a swift roundhouse kick to the face.

Lupin flew back and landed on one of the red blocks, laying there unconscious.

Stan sighed, waving off the production crew as they approached the thief. "Leave him there," he told them. He glance over at Jigen, who was staring over at Fujiko and glaring at her as she made faces at him. "Super Magical Mofo Pimp, the speed and precision at which you shot those bears was amazing. Not at all what you were supposed to do, but still amazing."

"So I get to stay?" he wondered.

"We'll see," Stan answered. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies."

Zenigata stood at attention.

"The point of this isn't to try and kill your partner. Your drive is something to be admired, but your delivery needs a lot of work." Stan looked over at Mr. X. "Angry Guy of Anger... eenie meenie miney moe? And a dance-off?"

"Well..." Mr. X looked around uncomfortably as Stan gave him a look of complete bewilderment.

Stan sighed and shook his head. "Fire Bringer of Death, your attempts to catch Disco Ant and Metal Moth were valiant, but I'm afraid your attempts were a wasted effort as your team seemed to have abandoned you."

"Exactly," Pycal said angrily as he glared at the others. "I told you I almost had him!"

Stan nodded. "Time Traveller, I don't even know what you did other than kill a mechanical bear and argue with your partners and let each mission fall to failure."

"Oh, so this is all my fault now?" Mamou said as he wished more than ever he had a time machine handy.

Stan nodded. "Since Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo is already in place, I will call two of you up for elimination." He stared down the line. "Evil Magic Stealer Witch, step up, please."

Fujiko was shocked that Stan would dare call her name when she was, in her view, the least offensive one up there.

"Time Traveller, step up, please." Stan watched as a seething Mamou stepped onto the now red block. "Evil Magic Stealer Witch, why should you stay?"

Fujiko put on a pouty face and conjured up some tears. She started to give her reason, but her words were hard to understand through her bawling.

Stan wasn't buying it and looked over at Mamou. "Time Traveller?"

"That woman, if you can even call it that, is disgusting," He hissed as he pointed at Fujiko.

"What?!" Fujiko growled as she was ready to pummel him.

"Amazing how quickly the tears faded, am I right, Stan?" Mamou said.

Stan nodded.

Fujiko looked in shock and then began her fake crying act again.

Mamou rolled his eyes. "But, you are right, Stan. I did nothing during these last two missions because my team doesn't appreciate the skills that I bring to the table. It is hard to help when you are shoved aside and shunned by those you are so desperately trying to work with. And if you allow me to stay on I will personally make sure that Disco Ant doesn't destroy the world. Besides, that is something I wish to do."

Stan stared at him, unsure of his true intentions. "Okay... Well, I won't lie. I wish I could send all of you home, but sadly I can only pick one. So... Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo... Evil Magic Stealer Witch... Time Traveller... The one leaving the lair tonight is..."


	14. Round Five Part One

And then there were six. :O Poor Lupin. At least he will still have food. xD

* * *

**Round Five Part One**

"The one leaving the lair tonight is... Evil Magic Stealer Witch."

Lupin suddenly awoke upon hearing the name, his eyes gazing off into nothingness as his mind slowly began to compute what it all meant.

Knowing her crying act wouldn't help her, Fujiko huffed up and stomped her right foot. "Whatever," she said, trying to not let it bother her, but unable to hide it all that well. "I didn't want to-"

"Nooooooo!"

Everyone jumped by the sound of the sudden high pitched scream.

Fujiko looked down as Lupin clung to her legs.

"Boobs!" Lupin cried. "He's sending away my boobs!"

Fujiko glared down at him. "Is that all I am to you?"

"Where have you been?" Jigen said with a roll of his eyes.

Stan had enough of the drama and left without saying a word. Besides, he knew that nothing he could say would change how the contestants acted.

But still, he was disappointed that only one could get sent home.

Fujiko slammed her pointy tipped shoe into Lupin's side, causing Lupin to let her go. Now free from the hysterical man she jumped from the box and ran off, not even bothering to throw her costume away as she didn't want the others to see the tears that formed in her eyes.

Nobody could know how much being eliminated from a stupid reality show really affected her.

"Boobs..." Lupin mumbled in pain.

...

"You gonna get up?" Jigen asked. He stood at the foot of Lupin's bed and stared in annoyance at him.

Lupin whined a response and buried even deeper under the covers.

Jigen sighed and walked off.

Zenigata glared as Jigen came back alone. "I'll get him out of bed," he growled, standing and stomping towards the room.

Jigen stopped and glanced at him as he passed. The look on Zenigata's face made him shudder as he quickened his pace into the kitchen.

Various thumps and yells and screams came from the room.

Pycal stared down the hall in disgust, the images in his head something he wished on nobody.

Mamou cackled evilly, knowing Lupin was getting what he deserved and a little jealous that he wasn't the one in there doing whatever to Lupin.

The door to the room flew open as Lupin was flung out of it, his body slamming against the wall and falling to the floor.

"Get up," Zenigata screamed as he kicked Lupin in the stomach.

Lupin held his stomach and grunted as a fist pounded into his back. He glanced back at Zenigata and flinched as the man stared in anger down at him.

"Get up," Zenigata demanded.

Lupin whined like an abused puppy and stood quickly, lowering his head and scurrying off to the kitchen, where he hid under the table.

Jigen glanced under the table cloth to see Lupin curled up by his feet.

"Where is he?" Zenigata yelled.

Jigen looked at him and shrugged.

"He ran outside," Mamou said while flipping through the morning paper.

Zenigata growled and took off out the door.

Pycal gave him a quizzical look.

"Oh, I didn't do it for that idiot," Mamou said. "That screaming baffoon was interrupting my reading."

"Hmm." Pycal sat back, crossing his arms over his chest while glaring off into space.

Mr. X came running inside and slammed the door behind him, leaning up against it.

The others glanced at him before returning to what they were doing.

"Just be glad he isn't armed with cookies," Pycal mumbled as Mr. X looked for a place to hide.

Jigen groaned in anger as Mr. X pushed his way under the table.

Lupin didn't seem to notice his new friend.

"Superheroes," Stan said in a bored voice. "Disco Ant is going to kill everyone, so you need to get to the mall."

Lupin's eyes opened big. He sat up and peaked out from under the table cloth. "Cinnabons!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet and out the door. He ran outside and to the car, sitting in it and waiting for the others as his excitement grew.

The others sighed and eventually left the lair.

...

They arrived at the mall and stood in front of a screen. When it turned on Stan was there. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

Nobody had bothered to put on their costumes.

"So, what are we doing here," Pycal asked with a yawn.

"Find Disco Ant and stop him from his evil plot," Stan answered.

"At the mall?" Mr. X asked as he looked around in confusion.

"Maybe there's a sale," Jigen said with a shrug.

"Wait," Stan said as he looked at the four staring back at him. "Where are the others?"

"Cinnabon and Orange Julius," Mamou said, Lupin and Zenigata having run off the second they arrived at the structure.

"Hot Dog on a Stick sounds good," Jigen said as he looked around.

"It does," Mr. X agreed, the two of them walking off.

Stan didn't care anymore, getting up and walking away.

"So," Mamou said as he and Pycal stood staring at an empty chair. "What do you want to do?"

"Commender the play area and make the children cry," Pycal said with an evil grin.

Mamou glanced over at him, worried for Pycal's mental state. "You have fun with that," he said as he slowly walked away.

Pycal cackled loudly as he ran off into the crowd.

...

Disco Ant sighed, he and Metal Moth standing on the second level and staring over the railing.

The two watched as Pycal stood on top of a pink plastic elephant and declared himself ruler of the "children's play things".

They then watched as the kids formed an angry mob and rushed him, tackling the man and throwing him into the large pit of plastic balls.

"Panda Express?" Disco Ant asked as he looked over at Metal Moth.

Metal Moth nodded after he gave the choice some thought.

The two walked off towards the food court.

...

Lupin took time from shoving Cinnabons into his mouth to burp. He then resumed eating, the pile on the tray before him slowly disappearing.

Zenigata held his stomach in pain, his eyes staring at the ten large empty cups in front of him.

Sitting next to him was Jigen and Mr. X, the two eating their corn dogs and french fries and mozzarella sticks, downing it all down with lemonade, Mr. X feeling adventurous and getting the lime flavored variety.

Sitting alone at a nearby table was Mamou, his face covered in chili from the chili burger and fries he shoved into his mouth.

The five were off in their own world as they ate or, in Zenigata's case, stared off while moaning in pain.

Disco Ant and Metal Moth sat together and quietly ate their Chinese food.

Senses heightening, the seven stopped, their heads slowly turning towards the others.

"You," Zenigata yelled while pointing at Disco Ant and Metal Moth.

Disco Ant stared in disgust at them, having to quickly hold his tray up to stop the mangled mess of chili, bread and fries that flew at him with great speeds.

"Food fight!" Lupin said as he stood on top of the table.

The food court became loud as the younger people began to throw food around, the older people scrambling to get away unscathed.

Security was called, two guards dropping Pycal as they dragged him from the play area and rushing off towards the food court.

Pycal looked back at the kids as they heckled him. He put on an angry face, trying not to let them see his fear as he wiped the blood trickling from his nose.

The kids beginning to approach him, Pycal got to his feet and walked off with a quickened pace.

The kids laughed as they beaned him in the head with plastic balls.

Pycal would never see malls or kids the same way again.

All was well for him as he continued on, occasionally looking over his shoulder to see if he was being followed and sighing in relief when he saw he wasn't.

Although there was that incident when he saw the baby stroller being pushed towards him and shrieked about devil babies and tried to light it on fire.

Luckily for the baby, and for him, he missed and caught the large fake plastic plant behind the baby's mother on fire instead.

Head down, he walked on to find the others so they could leave. What he found instead was a slice of cheese pizza slapping him in the head. Looking up to see what was going on he then got half of a strawberry milkshake to the face.

Angry at being assaulted he started shooting fire at those who dared throw things in his direction.

Screams of horror were quickly replacing the screams of fun.

"Uh oh," Jigen said as a kid ran by him screaming as his hair was on fire.

"We... we should probably go," Mr. X said as he saw the army of security guards rushing towards them.

"Go," Zenigata ordered. "I'll hold them back."

The others nodded and took off while Zenigata flung plastic trays at the guards, slowing their progression as he slowly back out of the mall.

Soon all of them were outside and running to the car, everyone now traveling in the same SUV.

They jumped inside the car and slammed the doors shut, yelling at the driver to go.

The car sped off and headed onto the highway.

"Hey, the lair is that way," Zenigata yelled as he pointed behind him.

Laughter came from the driver's seat, the man sitting in the front passenger seat turning towards them while pointing a gun in their faces.

"Metal Moth," Zenigata gasped in anger.

"So, we're finally alone," Disco Ant laughed as he glanced back at them in the rear view mirror. He lowered his foot on the gas pedal and sped off, all the while he and Metal Moth laughing evilly.


	15. Round Five Part Two

I used words that I don't even think should have been used, but I found them funny. Do they make sense? Probably not, but whatever. xD And I had a very hard time not referring to Lupin as a monkey. I wanted to because that'd be overly retarded, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Also, I have no idea who Mr. X is. Was he even a Lupin character? Don't know... He is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. And we can all learn a valuable lesson from him. Or something.

* * *

**Round Five Part Two**

The six had their hands tied behind their backs and blindfolds over their eyes as they were led from the car into an old factory.

Disco Ant watched as Metal Moth led them all down into the basement and put them into large cages they had set up earlier that day.

In truth nobody was worried, as this was all just some dumb game and nothing would ever happen to them.

At least, that was what they thought.

Pycal and Mr. X stared in slight worry as Mamou stood in front of them and held up a gun.

Mamou, looking sort of psychotic to the two, sneered as he looked back at Disco Ant.

"Pull the trigger," Disco Ant coaxed Mamou. "Kill Pycal. You know you want to. He is a rival to you, after all."

That was what Disco Ant said, although the truth was he hated Pycal the worst of the six. And he wanted to watch him die.

Mamou sighed. "I'd rather kill Lupin..."

"No!"

Mamou jumped from the word being screamed in his ear.

"You are to kill Pycal! And then, when I'm done watching all the blood drain from his body whilst I stand over him and laugh evilly, then you can kill Lupin."

The three stared with uncertainty at Disco Ant.

...

Zenigata sat, blindfold still over his eyes, as Metal Moth walked around him.

"He makes a fool out of you daily," Metal Moth said. "I bet if it weren't for him you'd have gotten a nice promotion by now and had a nice pension to retire to. But, as it stands now, you have nothing. And it's all because of Lupin."

Zenigata tensed in anger.

"You have no life," Metal Moth continued. "No family to come home to. Probably not even a home to go home to. Not even a loving pet to greet you when you come back to the slum you squat in."

Now it was getting personal. Zenigata tried to contain his emotions, but something that was a mix of anger, sadness, grief, confusion and hatred seeped from his very being.

"A cute soft kitty to cuddle and play with after a long days work at the office. Although working at the office, those days are long gone. Now you're on the road, being tricked by that worthless thief in ever country this world holds. Your colleagues laugh at you behind your back. Your boss doesn't even want to look at you, ashamed of what you stand for. And all of this because of one man. A man who steals more money in one night than you will make in a thousand lifetimes."

Zenigata nodded, vapid tears of anger rolling down his face.

"But now is your chance to be rid of him." Metal Moth grinned an evil grin and took the blindfold off Zenigata's face.

Zenigata stared down at the table in front of him, a shotgun sitting on it.

"Kill him and you can walk away a free man. A new man."

Zenigata looked from the gun to Metal Moth and smirked.

...

Mamou sighed in boredom as Mr. X bawled in front of him.

"My life," Mr. X cried. "My pathetic worthless life! This frail soul of mine is why you must kill me first! I cannot stand to breathe for another second!"

Disco Ant tensed in anger.

Mamou yawned and pointed the gun at Mr. X.

"No," Pycal yelled. "He said you had to kill me, so I insist you kill me first!"

Mamou shrugged and pointed the gun at Pycal.

Mr. X gasped. "You two still have something left! I have nothing! Kill me now!"

"Oh, so now you're that much more special than me?" Pycal asked as he glared at Mr. X. "I'm not good enough to be killed first?"

"I don't think you're better than me. I just think that-"

"Listen, you insignificant worm! I was somebody before you were anybody! People know me! You, they have no idea who you are!"

"What?" Mr. X growled. "People know me! They fear me!"

"They laugh at you! They laugh in your face! Your face!"

Disco Ant, looking ready to explode, stood with grinding teeth as he looked at Pycal and Mr. X as they continued to argue.

...

Jigen and Lupin, sitting in the cage they had been placed in, looked over as Zenigata walked towards them.

"You're here to save us," Lupin said happily, a creepy smile on his face as he looked much too overjoyed at this.

Zenigata's right eye twitched.

"Come on," Jigen said impatiently. "What are you waiting for? Get us out of here."

Their hopes were soon dashed as Metal Moth walked up behind Zenigata and placed a hand on Zenigata's shoulder.

Zenigata looked over at Metal Moth and nodded, pulling the shotgun he had been holding behind him out and pointing it at Lupin.

"You know what you must do to right the wrongs perpetrated on you," Metal Moth said with a cackle.

"Whoa, wait, what, hold on," Lupin sputtered as he tried to back away.

"Goodbye, Lupin," Zenigata said with an evil grin.

Jigen panicked, seeing no way for Lupin to escape this. Figuring he could buy Lupin some time he quickly moved in front of Lupin as the trigger was pulled.

Both winced at the loud blast, then opened their eyes to see they were both still alive.

"You missed?" Metal Moth yelled in disbelief. "How can you miss that?! You're two feet from him! How did you-"

Zenigata slammed the shotgun into the side of Metal Moth's face, then watched as the disgusting evil man fell unconscious to the floor.

"Jigen," Lupin said in shock. "You were gonna save me."

Jigen stared off, wondering what he was thinking by doing something so dumb.

Lupin smiled. "You may have no boobs, but you're still my buddy!"

Jigen stared in disgust as Lupin rubbed his head on Jigen's chest.

"Knock it off," Zenigata growled, shoving Lupin out of the way as he untied Jigen's hands and then roughly untied Lupin's.

"Friend!"

Zenigata's eye twitched again as Lupin gave him a bear hug.

...

"I had a movie," Pycal yelled.

"And it was horrible," Mr. X yelled back.

"Shut up! That wasn't my fault!"

"Was it your fault that you were stupid in your episode?"

"Stuh, stupid?! How dare you! My performance was stunning! I slapped Fujiko like she had never been slapped before!"

"That was a nice touch, by the way," Mamou said with a nod.

"Thank you," Pycal said nicely as he nodded back to Mamou.

"You beat up on a defenseless woman and that is your bragging point?!" Mr. X scoffed.

"That beast is no woman! And I don't see you bragging about... whatever it was you ever did!"

"I did lots of things! Lots of things you could only dream of doing! As a matter of fact, I think that you-"

"Enough," Disco Ant screamed, the walls shaking from the force of the scream. He grabbed the gun from Mamou's hand and pointed it at Pycal. "I'll take care of you myself! What do you think about tha-"

He was silenced by the chair that came slamming down onto his head.

Mamou glanced over as Stan stood, a leg of the chair still in one hand, and glared down at Disco Ant.

"About time you showed up," Mamou muttered.

Stan glared at him. "Where are the others?"

Mamou shrugged.

"Hey, guys," Lupin yelled out as he waved spastically. "Graham! You're here!"

Stan gritted his teeth in annoyance. "For the last time," he said as he stomped towards Lupin, then began beating him with the chair leg, "my name is STAN! GET IT RIGHT!"

Mamou sighed happily as he watched Lupin getting beat.

Pycal and Mr. X chuckled as Lupin curled up into a ball and begged for Stan, who he called Ma'am, to stop.

Zenigata and Jigen worked to untie Pycal and Mr. X, all then taking a last look as Lupin continued to be beat up before they left the factory.


	16. Round Five Part Three

Kongregate needs to stop having such addicting games on their site. :(  
That or I need just a little bit of self-control over my gaming addictions...  
Well, I figured if I get nothing else done this week, I will have at least written this chapter. Meh, it's something, I guess...

* * *

**Round Five Part Three**

The group returned back to the lair, Stan riding along with them, which made for a very quiet and uncomfortable trip.

There wasn't the usual mocking or childish violence that took place like their other car rides.

The only one who seemed happy was the driver, who for once didn't have to look back and yell at them to behave and shut up.

He hated to be the parent figure of a group of people much older than him.

"On the roof," Stan demanded of them once they stepped in the doorway of the lair.

The group stared down as Stan stomped off, the air of a usually fun place now steeped in the thick fog of tension.

Flinching as a door slammed, the group glanced up for not even a second before looking back down.

They had angered their boss and were now at risk of all being sent home.

The possibility of this could not happen, as the winner had a lifelong ticket to bragging rights over the others, over the losers.

With loud sighs they shuffled off, failing to put on brave faces as they confronted the ire of Stan.

On the roof stood Stan, waiting for them as they slowly wandered onto their white squares and forced themselves to look at the glaring man.

"There are no words to express fully what I'm feeling right now," Stan said as he paced up and down the line of superheroes.

Lupin, having a really nice retort, decided it best to keep his mouth shut.

"Since you seem to have forgotten that you are superheroes and decided to discard your uniforms, I will address you as your normal, sad and pathetic selves."

This seemed to upset the group, who didn't think they were completely pathetic.

Maybe just a little.

"Jigen," Stan said, his intense stare piercing a hole through Jigen's head. "I commend your bravery in jumping in front of Lupin to take a bullet for him. That was a very noble, and stupid, thing to do."

Jigen nodded in agreement, still not yet figuring out why he even did that.

Stan then turned his stare towards Zenigata. "Zenigata, you were brave in allowing your fellow teammates to escape while you held of the security officers. And your complete control in not shooting Lupin, even though I'm sure you really wanted to do it, but then who doesn't, was exceptional."

Zenigata nodded. He kept quiet though about his intent, knowing that if he did shoot and kill Lupin than he would have no life.

"Mr. X," Stan said as he stared at the man. "You were completely useless. A baked potato would have done more than you did."

Mr. X began to sulk. He had long tried to tell himself he was worth more than a baked potato, that his life had more meaning than that of a baked potatoes life. Years of therapy were now ruined by Stan's biting words.

"But, congratulations all the same, as you join Jigen and Zenigata in the safe group for this week."

The three looked pleased. Lupin, Pycal and Mamou, on the other hand, looked insulted.

"You know what to do," Stan told the three.

They all huffed up, but obeyed him and stepped onto the red squares before them.

"Lupin, was starting that food fight really necessary?"

"What?" Lupin spat out in shock. "He started it!" he argued as he pointed a rigid finger at Mamou.

"You do have a point, but standing on a table and yelling out "food fight" to the whole food court I think is a little more incriminating than one incident that nobody bothered to notice."

"Whatever," Lupin yelled as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared off.

Stan looked at Pycal. "You were going to kill that baby, weren't you?" he asked in complete and utter disappointment.

"It was following me," Pycal said. "It and the others, they're all part of the grand conspiracy!"

"And you felt that you needed to terrorize the poor children in order to combat this conspiracy?"

"Poor children?" Pycal scoffed. "Those are the devil's spawns!"

"Right... Now, Mamou," Pycal said, wanting to get as far as he could from Pycal as he took a few steps and stood in front of Mamou.

Mamou did his best to look innocent, but Stan wasn't buying it.

"Mamou, you stated that you would have rather killed Lupin than Pycal, if you had that chance. Did you mean that?"

Mamou burst into loud laughter.

"I'll take that as a yes..." Stan sighed and turned his back on the three as he began to pace. "Lupin, like him or not, is a member of your own team. It would have been more heroic of you to turn the gun on Disco Ant. You had plenty of opportunities for this, but you didn't take one of them."

"I sort of like Disco Ant, though. He's my kind of twisted and evil."

"Disco Ant is your enemy and the one who is planning on killing many innocent people."

"Ha, innocent!" Mamou laughed.

Pycal joined him in the laughter.

Lupin wondered what was so funny.

"Anyway," Stan groaned, "Disco Ant is now even closer to his goal. And you, the ones who the people are looking up to to save them from his evil ways, don't seem to care."

"Is he really going to kill people or is this just part of the game?" Jigen asked.

Stan answered him with a glare.

"And why were we even sent to the mall?" Zenigata wondered. "What was the point of that?"

"Do you want me to put you up here for elimination or do you want to shut up?" Stan asked.

"I'll... I'll shut up..." Zenigata said meekly.

"Good." Stan glanced at him before started to pace once more. "Now, I can't tell you everything that the evil villain Disco Ant and his sidekick are thinking, but I can tell you that it is up to you, as a team, to stop him at all costs."

"But, if you keep kicking one of us off each week, then how are we supposed to beat him as a team?" Lupin wondered.

"I keep kicking one of you off each week because you haven't stopped him," Stan answered. "Is everyone now finished with the stupid questions?"

None in the group said anything.

"Okay. Lupin, Pycal and Mamou... The one who is leaving tonight is..."

* * *

Now it's time to vote, sadly. I don't want any of them to leave. But, one must go. And of course, random numbers could not have picked Mr. X. No, that'd be too easy.


	17. Round Six Part One

So, Mr. X is Scorpion from the first series? The brilliant man with the brilliant plan? If so, he's even more worthless than I thought.

Had to do the random number pick twice, as the first time it picked Lupin. First time a three-way tie happened. But, yeah, sad. I didn't want any of these guys to go, either? =(

Also, to spoil the suspense, this is a continuation chapter, to be continued in the next chapter, as is proper and such. -nods and sips my tea-

* * *

**Round Six Part One**

"The one who is leaving tonight is... Pycal."

Pycal couldn't believe it. Mamou couldn't either, thinking that for sure he'd be the one sent home.

Lupin was oblivious as he stared at a lone moth fluttering around a nearby light.

Stan glared at the angry man. "I cannot just forget the way you abused your powers against innocent children. For the sake of humanity, find some isolated island to live on and leave everyone alone. Now turn in your costume and leave."

"I don't have my costume on, idiot," Pycal yelled.

"Exactly," Stan said, not at all amused by the outrageous outrage thrown in his direction. "Get out of here."

Lupin grinned and gave a childish wave to Pycal as he walked off.

Stan turned his attention to the five left. "Superheroes, and I use that term loosely, return to the lair and rest up. We never know what the sinister Disco Ant has in store for us. Tomorrow could be a busy day."

They all nodded and murmured responses as they walked back down to the lair.

"So," Lupin said as he put his arms around the shoulders of Jigen and Zenigata. "Three against two, now."

Zenigata gave a confused look. "Why am I on your team?"

"Because," Lupin said with a roll of his eyes, "you're one of us. Duh!"

"I'm one of who?"

"Us! You know, the main characters! We're like, a club or something. Didn't you know?"

"Uh huh, right." Zenigata gave a blank stare and walked off to his bed to get some sleep.

"Ugh, he doesn't even get it," Lupin said in slight annoyance before guzzling the contents of a bottle of chocolate syrup.

Jigen only stared, not saying a word as he, too, walked off to go to bed.

The next morning...

"Superheroes," Stan called out on every TV the lair had, which was now oddly a lot.

The group groaned as they burrowed deeper under their blankets.

"You need to wake up and get into your costumes," Stan said with a slightly raised voice. "It's... fun day today," he said, trying to come up with something that would wake them up.

"Fun day?" Lupin gasped as he threw the blankets off and sat up in bed.

"We going to a bar?" Jigen wondered as he yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Nothing with clowns. Nothing with clowns. Nothing with clowns," Mamou muttered under his breath.

"I figured you'd need a day off and it seems Disco Ant is not doing anything evil today, so I decided to take you all to the Go Go Go-Cart Park." Stan stared at them with a smile that the five couldn't read.

"He's up to something," Mr. X said as he pulled the covers up and peaked over them.

Zenigata glared at him. It was hard for him to believe that this was the same Mr. X that nobody had heard about ever.

"Go-carts? Yay!" Lupin jumped from the bed and beat everyone to the bathroom.

"Why are you friends again?" Zenigata asked while looking over at Jigen.

Jigen could only shrug.

The five stood in front of the track, Stan there in person to talk to them about their assignment, which the superheroes were not happy to find out about.

"Aw, come on, guy," Lupin whined. "You said it was fun day."

"It is fun day, but with fun comes responsibility," Stan answered, trying to sound enthusiastic, although he had lost any positive feelings he felt for this show long ago.

"Angry Guy of Anger will take this responsibility and-"

"Shut up, idiot," Mamou said while slapping the back of Mr. X's head.

Stan glared at Mamou, who wasn't phased by the evil eye at all. "Now, the track has been set up with a variety of obstacles. In order to complete these obstacles you must work as a team. Do you understand that word?"

The five nodded.

Stan nodded back and began to go over the various things and what the team had to do. He then stepped back and let them come up with a plan.

Zenigata and Mamou had the most well thought out plans. Jigen just wanted to get drunk. Mr. X said he'd do what was decided upon. Lupin only wanted to have fun and crash into things.

"Hey, Lupin," Jigen said. "Do you have an booze stashed in that giant coat of yours?"

"Nope. Only Funyuns." Lupin opened his coat to display the bags of onion flavored snacks pinned to the inside fabric. "Want some?"

Jigen stared at the display in front of him. The whole thing felt like some kind of fatty junk food pornography sale, so he denied the offer.

Lupin shrugged and grabbed a bag.

Unable to come up with a sure plan, they all got into their go-carts and decided to just go with the flow.

Lupin's first move was to ram Mamou off the track. This set the man off and, after pulling himself out of a pile of tires, he sped off after Lupin.

Feeling the thrill of the chase, Lupin sped off and swerved around the others, who saw the fun that could be had and joined in.

Stan groaned.

Lupin wished the clunky helmet he wore had a visor so he could lower it and be all awesome-like. As it were he just had to imagine one as he sped through the straight-aways and slid through the hairpin curves.

Mamou cut corners and was close to being able to run Lupin over when something caught his eye.

Sitting in a car that was stopped at a red light just on the other side of the chain linked fence was Disco Ant.

"Look," Mamou yelled while pointing.

The others did and, shocked to see their enemy so close, decided to get him.

Zenigata was the first to crash through the fence, dragging a length of it behind him as he sped through the grass and onto the street.

The light having turned green, Disco Ant sped off. He glanced in the side mirror and did a double take as five go-carts were speeding after him. The costumes being familiar, he smirked and stepped on the gas pedal.

The superheroes did the same, swerving around cars and ignoring the horns that blared out at them.

Unfortunately for them go-carts don't go too fast and they soon lost sight of their target.

Lupin glanced back as a familiar noise filled the air, an armed military helicopter approaching them.

He swerved down a street, hoping to find a place he could hide.

Jigen and Zenigata followed while Mamou and Mr. X kept going straight.

The two were happy when they saw the helicopter follow after the others. They stopped at a light and sat side-by-side.

"So, what do you want to do?" Mr. X wondered.

"We need to find Disco Ant. Let the others take care of the helicopter."

Mr. X nodded and the two took off.

"Follow me," Lupin called out behind him as Jigen and Zenigata followed close behind.

They did and took a hard right into an alley, speeding through it and back onto the street.

Metal Moth, controlling the helicopter, wasn't fooled and flew right behind them, having them in his sights. A smirk on his face, he pressed down on a button, two missiles hissing as they shot forward.

Lupin, Zenigata and Jigen, who was trailing behind, looked back in shock.

Lupin watched helplessly as the missiles struck, Jigen now obscured by a large cloud of smoke and debris. "Nooooo!"

Zenigata gasped, anger and anguish filling him.

Lupin tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his jaws clenched as tears formed in his eyes. "This was supposed to be a game..."

Zenigata drove up next to Lupin and looked over at him. "Lupin, let's take that helicopter down together! For Jigen!"

Lupin glanced over at him and nodded.

* * *

Go Go Go-Cart. xD So dumb. For some reason I got that part in my head from that one special with the kittens in peril where Lupin says something like "Yo, yo-yo man." I wanted to kick something. In the face!


	18. Round Six Part Two

Ugh! What did they do to this site? Feels like my monitor went insane and switched to 800 x 600 resolution. Larger than usual fonts, go away! -pulls out Buddha Exorcist Goemon and watches him fail at life-

Man, stupid cat, I swear. Hasn't had her three pieces of food for the half hour and acts as though she's going to starve because I closed the door to the room their food is in. Cats need to be like dogs in the way that they actually eat and not snack all friggin day. Crisis averted! She has left the room with three more pieces of food in her stomach. And now she sleeps. Ah, the life of a feline. So labor intensive.

* * *

**Round Six Part Two**

Lupin wiped the tears from his eyes as he and Zenigata sped forward.

Jigen didn't have boobs, but he should have had them. 'He deserved them,' Lupin thought, fond memories of his friend running through his mind like a movie complete with sad melodramatic music.

Meanwhile, three blocks away...

"Stupid, stupid machine!" Mamou stood next to his go-cart and kicked it.

Gas was never a problem in the future, so Mamou forgot all about the turmoil that was the twenty first century.

Mr. X rode up and stopped next to him. "Hop on," he said.

Mamou glared at the sad little man and then back at the defective piece of machinery in front of him.

"Come on," Mr. X said impatiently. "He's getting even farther away!"

Mamou grit his teeth and stomped towards the go-cart his not-so-super superhero teammate was driving and crawled onto the back of it, making sure to hold onto Mr. X extra tight so as to not fall off.

Mr. X choked as arms wrapped around his neck. Used to being treated poorly, he drove on, the go-cart now moving at a slower pace with the extra weight.

Mamou watched in anger as the cars sped by them, their forms only colored blurs as the whizzed by.

He watched in even more anger as joggers casually passed them, the music pumped into the joggers ears making them oblivious to all around them.

A dog ran by them, the animal not even in a full gallop, just a casual trot.

When the kid on the big wheel passed by them, Mamou had had enough.

He jumped off the vehicle and stood in front of a car stopped at a light. He pulled out the gun that he had been given to shoot Pycal. Always one to think ahead, he figured it might come in handy some time and grabbed it off the floor, keeping it hidden from Stan and the others.

The driver in the car panicked and put his hands up.

"I'm taking your car," Mamou snarled.

The man shrieked and flung the drivers side door open, quickly fleeing and rushing off down the street.

Mr. X watched with uncertainty. This could certainly get them voted off.

"Are you coming?" Mamou wondered.

But then again, not going along with a plan to catch the bad guy could also get him voted off.

In a conundrum and pressed for time to weigh out the options, Mr. X decided to go along with Mamou's plan, whatever that may be. He ditched the go-cart and got into the car.

...

"Look out," Zenigata yelled as the helicopter swerved around and faced Lupin.

Lupin could only watch in fear as the guns on the helicopter flashed, bullets blasting from the barrels and speeding towards him.

He lifted his arms and shielded his face, his only hope being that his extra puffy coat would somehow stop the bullets from hitting his skin.

When he felt nothing hit he thought it weird and looked up.

But before he had a chance to see what was in front of him the ever so familiar and yet very annoying flute music played, as if on cue.

Lupin always wondered where the flute player was hiding.

"Goemon," Lupin yelled out, as it could be no one else.

Goemon stood in front of the go-cart, sliced up bullets laying at his feet as he stared down the helicopter.

"You came back!" Lupin was thrilled. It was once again three against two. Surely they would win now.

"I never left," Goemon said.

Too embarrassed to admit it to anyone, he was so saddened by his loss that he did nothing but eat order after order of nachos at Taco Bell since that night.

The only reason he stopped was the manager called the cops and he was kicked out of the restaurant.

On his way to find another Taco Bell, he happened to stumble on the helicopter terrorizing the city.

Lupin's smile faded. "Oh. Well, I kind of have bad news..."

Goemon glanced back at him, waiting for the news.

Metal Moth sighed and stopped everything, thinking it unfair to interrupt their little reunion.

Lupin's bottom lip quivered as he sniffed deeply the snot back into his nose. "You... you remember Jigen, right? The guy with the hat? And the gun? And no boobs?"

Goemon looked around in confusion. Surely it was only a few days since his departure. Wasn't it? Had he been eating nachos for that long? And if he had been, then why wasn't he fat?

"He..." Lupin could no longer contain the tears and let them flow from his eyes. He glared at the helicopter and pointing a rigid finger. "He killed him!"

The news was a shocking blow to Goemon.

He joined Lupin in the mental reminiscing, both trying not to let the mournful soundtrack get to them.

Zenigata had long gotten bored of everything and left to find a place to have a nice lunch.

Goemon and Lupin cried together, Goemon's tears put on hold as he stared past Lupin. He took a step back, the color fading from his face as he pointed a shaking finger at something behind Lupin. "Guh, guh, ghost!"

Lupin, confused, looked back to see a partially blown up Jigen standing there. He let out a shriek and grabbed the go-cart, lifting it and slamming it over Jigen's head. "Be gone, foul demon!"

Jigen let out a grunt of pain and fell to the ground, shielding his head as the go-cart continued to clobber him. "Knock it off! Idiot! What is wrong with you?!"

Lupin stopped. It did look like Jigen and the blood pouring from the beings head surely looked real. And the voice did sound like his friend's voice.

Goemon's sadness faded as happiness took over his body.

Lupin gasped and tossed the go-cart aside, ignoring the shrieks of the woman it landed on. "Boobless!" he yelled, rushing up to Jigen and diving on top of him.

Goemon joined him, Jigen grunting as now two people were laying on top of his battered body.

Lupin licked the blood from Jigen's face. "It's real!"

"He must be a zombie," Goemon said happily.

Jigen could only lay there, too weak to do anything.

...

"Drat," Mr. X said as he pounded a fist on the dash board.

Mamou glanced over at the man. Thoughts of ending it all and driving over a very tall cliff filled his mind.

"We seem to have lost him," Mr. X finished. He looked over at Mamou. "I'm practicing my superhero dialog. How was it?"

"It brought suicidal thoughts to mind," Mamou said in anger. "Do it again and you will die. Horribly."

Mr. X shirked back and kept quiet.

Mamou made a sharp u-turn and headed back to where the others had gone.

...

"Go go Goemon," Lupin cheered happily as Goemon faced off against the evil helicopter.

Jigen would have said something if he hadn't passed out from blood loss minutes earlier.

Metal Moth smirked in evil ways as he sped forward, shooting missiles at Goemon as he did so.

The missiles exploded around the three on the ground, none hitting their target.

Goemon screamed, or at least he tried to. Upon opening his mouth the loudest and deepest belch came forth. The sound shook the ground and rattled the buildings.

Metal Moth panicked as the controls on the helicopter buzzed and beeped, lights of all kind blinking at him.

And then it came.

The gas that could only be made from days of Taco Bell nachos made it's way forward and slammed into the helicopter, instantly melting the metal and warping the plastic.

Metal Moth fell with a thud to the pavement below, the stench that surrounded him too much and causing him to pass out.

Goemon looked on proudly of what he had done, looking back to see the approval of his friends to find them now both passed out, as well as everyone in the three block radius around him.

"Uh oh," Goemon said as he looked down at his stomach, which was gurgling and festering inside.

What followed was inevitable.

The plants shrieked their silent screams of horror as an insidious, putrid and deadly gas came forth from the nether regions of the samurai.

Even the magic pants were no match, their every fiber being reduced to separate molecules as the gas made contact.

The plants only defense was to burst into flames, their fiery death one more humane than what they would have been put through.

...

Stan watched the news footage from the comforts of the Go Go Go-Cart Parks lounge area.

In a way he was proud. In more ways he was embarrassed.

When the treacherous gasses were let loose onto civilization the news feed was lost.

The reporters in the studio, and everyone in the lounge, said a silent prayer for those in the strike zone.

* * *

Ahaha! xD Don't even ask what all of that was. I'm so tired right now and for some reason I'm laughing way too hard over it. Plus I didn't know how to end the chapter and felt that a fitting ending. Frickin Taco Bell, man. Stuff is lethal.


	19. Round Six Part Three

I like picking the three and then trying to figure out the reasons for them being picked, especially when the ones who should be picked aren't and the ones who did nothing are. This pick is the perfect example of that.

And by "like" I mean "Yay, I get to stare at my monitor for forever trying to figure out why they have been chosen." xD

* * *

**Round Six Part Three**

The next few days were a blur to most.

Jigen spent his days in the hospital. A few pints of blood and a whole slew of stitches later he was good to go and released, picked up and driven back to the lair.

Lupin woke up in bed with no memory of what had happened. When he did ask nobody had the heart to tell him that he had inhaled toxic fumes that came from Goemon's ass.

Zenigata only remembered waking up with his face in a plate of dried up gravy.

Mamou and Mr. X were lucky enough to escape the fumes, but unlucky enough to be hit by the shockwave the blast created.

Their car hit and thrown against a building, the two were knocked unconscious. After a quick check-up and a few stitches, they were released from the hospital.

Now rested and back to their somewhat normal selves, Stan thought it was the proper time to send one of them home.

And so, onto the roof the five remaining contestants went.

Stan, back on the screen in the comfort of his well ventilated room, looked down at all of them.

"Superheroes," he said, a bit of pride in his voice this time. "You did a good thing this past week. Metal Moth is now in police custody and spilling everything that he knows. Disco Ant's lair has been infiltrated and we have retrieved the Universal Intergalactic Super Ray."

"So it's over?" Lupin wondered, a bit sad as he thought back to the memories of the past, all of the good times spent with everyone in the lair.

"Of course it's not over," Stan said annoyingly. "Disco Ant is still out there. And you can be sure he's doing a lot of plotting at this very moment."

Lupin was happy while the others weren't, hoping they could all go home.

"Now, let's look back on everything you did," Stan said. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies."

Zenigata stood at attention.

"You had a very good plan at the Go Go Go-Cart Park. It's a shame nobody chose to heed your advice. You have what it takes to be a great leader."

Zenigata sobbed tears of happiness.

Stan stared at him in disgust. "Yeah... Time Traveller, you also had a good plan at the park. And one that, sadly, the others chose to ignore. You were also very valiant in going after Disco Ant. I'm going to ignore the crime of carjacking that you committed, for the time being."

"I did the guy a favor," Mamou said. "I mean, a Fiat? Who drives those? They're nothing but crap!"

"Hey!" Lupin glared at Mamou.

"That isn't the point," Stan said. He turned to Mr. X. "Angry Guy of Anger, I'm ashamed that you went along with Time Traveller's plan when he stole that car. Also, your acting is awful. Whatever your day job is, stick with it."

"But," Mr. X intervened, "I get a pass on my misdeeds just like Mamou, right? I mean, if he gets a pass on actually stealing the car, then why do I get chastised for going along with it? That hardly seems fair."

"It is a superheroes job to stop those who are doing bad things. You should be intervening to teach those people on how to do better with their lives."

Mr. X growled in anger, wanting to say more, but knowing it'd do him no good.

Stan gave him a long look, waiting to see if he would speak again. When he didn't he moved on. "Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo." Stan sighed in that "Wow, I really feel sorry for you and your stupidity" type of way. "I don't know what to say."

"I was just that good, right?" Lupin beamed.

"No!" Stan barked. "You abandoned your friend and teammate in his time of need. You just assumed he was dead. And then when you found out he was alive, you tried to beat him to death!"

"I panicked!" Lupin argued. "I thought he was a zombie!"

"I'm not a zombie," Jigen yelled.

"Well, yeah, I know that now," Lupin said.

Stan continued on. "And at the Go Go Go-Cart Park, you decided to follow your own rules and put your teammates in danger by running them off the road. Is following directions that hard for you?"

Lupin stared off as he thought about the question.

"Nevermind," Stan sighed. "Finally, Super Magical Mofo Pimp. What exactly did you do to help your teammates on this mission?"

"I almost died," Jigen said, unable to believe he was being asked that question. "Twice!" He glared at Lupin, who was oblivious.

"Death is no excuse. It was a selfish act on your part, leaving all of the hard work for the others while you just laid on the ground unconscious." Stan glared at him.

Jigen wondered if this was all a big joke.

"The real hero here," Stan said as he gave each one a serious glance, "was your old teammate Crazed Samurai Dude."

"Yeah, who almost killed everyone!" Mr. X said. "Why isn't he up here getting yelled at and disciplined for his wrong doings?"

"Because he was already eliminated."

"Oh, and that gives him the right to muscle his way into our jobs and steal the glory?"

"Well, he did stop Metal Moth from unleashing more missiles onto the city," Stan said. "What did you do, besides losing Disco Ant while riding around in a stolen vehicle?"

"Gah! This is preposterous!" Mr. X crossed tightly his arms over his chest and glared at the roof in front of him.

"And that is your opinion," Stan said. "But now it is time for me to choose which three will step forward. So, Super Magical Mofo Pimp, please step forward. Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, step forward. And Angry Guy of Anger, step forward, as well."

The three stepped off their white squares and looked back at Zenigata and Mamou, who stood proudly on theirs. They then took their place on the red squares in front of them and stared angrily at Stan.

"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, tell my why you should stay in the lair."

"You're kidding, right," Jigen wondered as he looked around at the others, who shrugged at him.

"This is no joke," Stan assured him.

"I was almost blown up by missiles! And then, after somehow surviving that, this idiot beat me in the head with a go-cart!"

"I am not an idiot," Lupin pouted.

"You are, too!" Jigen replied. "So, I guess I should stay because... I'm a survivor!" He struck some lame heroic pose.

Stan frowned at this. "Right... Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, why should you stay?"

"Because he's a jerk!" was his answer as he pointed a finger in Jigen's face.

"Get your finger out of my face before I bite it off!" Jigen threatened.

"Ooh, like I'm scared of you!" He pressed his finger into Jigen's cheek.

"Oh, that is it!" Jigen jumped off his square and tackled Lupin, the two rolling around on the roof, each throwing their fair share of punches.

Stan stared at them, not amused by their antics. He looked up at Mr. X. "Make it quick," he sighed.

"I shouldn't be up here because I did nothing wrong!" Mr. X said, his voice raised to be heard over the ruckus Lupin and Jigen were making. "Mamou stole a car at gunpoint, yet that goes ignored? And Zenigata, the brave so-called leader of the group, disposes his responsibilities and finds some place to have lunch! And Goemon farted and almost killed the whole city! At least I tried to do something!"

Stan nodded, feeling it was a very well said plea. "Well, after hearing what the three of you had to say, I have decided. The one leaving tonight is..."

* * *

Voting time once again. :D


	20. Round Seven Part One

I want to thank everyone for their reviews and votes and such. You're all awesome! :D

There's now four people left you guys! I'm kind of burning out on this story. Hard for me to think of things for them to do. I think one thing and realize I already did that. In the previous chapter. That I wrote a few days ago. Haha, my mind, it's like Jello.

Heh, my cat fell asleep on one of my socks and woke up, noticing it was there and slowly turning towards it and sniffing it, as if it was going to attack her or something. I'm surprised she didn't start munching on it. Must be a very comfortable sock, as she curled up on it and went back to sleep.

* * *

**Round Seven Part One**

"The one leaving tonight is... Angry Guy of Anger."

Mr. X tensed up and stomped his right foot down on the box. "I am so angry right now!"

The others rolled their eyes.

"You can now fade into obscurity," Stan said as he made a "shoo"ing motion with his left hand.

Mr. X stomped off the roof, not even bothering to throw away his costume, as he liked it and decided he was going to keep it.

"Now, before you go back to the lair, I want to remind you that you can't keep looking at this as a game." Stan stared at them with a very serious expression. "Disco Ant has broken every rule the network had in his contract and he can no longer be contained by the lawyers. Your lives may be at risk."

Jigen rolled his eyes. Their lives had been at risk for the last few tasks, if not from Disco Ant then from each other.

"You may return to the lair and get some rest. I expect you all to be up early tomorrow and in tip-top shape." Stan nodded and watched them as they left.

"Tip-top?" Mamou scoffed. "Who uses that?"

"Stan, apparently," Jigen said through a yawn. The pain pills wearing off, he left to the bathroom to get another handful before he got into bed.

The others hovered around the kitchen, each one getting something to eat as they stared off in silence.

Mamou glanced at Lupin and Zenigata. He realized he was alone and it made him sad. Mr. X hadn't been the best partner, but at least he was another person with an evil mind. Lupin was just stupid and selfish while Zenigata was all about his job and rules and all that boring crap villains didn't care about. And Jigen... well, he wasn't too sure about Jigen.

"Hey," Lupin yelled out happily, making the other two jump as he abruptly broke the silence. "I want some ice cream. You guys want some ice cream?"

Lupin stared at them with a creepy smile while Zenigata glared back and Mamou stared with a disgusted expression.

"More for me, then!" Lupin jumped from the chair and raced to the freezer, deciding to grab the biggest spoon and just eat it from the container.

Zenigata and Mamou looked at each other before looking away.

Never before had the lair been this uncomfortable.

For Zenigata, he felt as if he was the only sane one left. He didn't ever see Mr. X as much of a villain. He was more like a lost puppy trying to fit in with the "cool" kids. But now he was left living with an angry drunk, a complete psychopath, and Mamou.

He never thought he'd miss Melon as much as he did at that point.

Mamou wondered if he couldn't somehow coax Jigen onto his side. He figured the hatted and dark suit wearing man was plenty angry at Lupin and didn't want anything to do with him. And he was pretty sure that the drunk gunman would never become friends with Zenigata.

'It might just work,' he thought with an evil grin. He casually got up and left for bed.

Zenigata watched in disgust at Lupin as he was trying to lick the dregs of melted ice cream from the bottom of the container. Having had enough he also got up and went to bed.

Lupin happily skipped into the living room and watched porn all night.

Morning came with a flash as every TV in the lair turned on, a cheery Stan staring at them, although he was never really seeing anything other than the camera he was looking into.

"Superheroes!"

The superheroes groaned, their sleep being disturbed.

"Today is a new day," Stan said, assuming everyone was awake and paying attention. "I have exciting news for you all. The Avengers have invited you to their secret lab to check out the weapons they use to fight crime. So, get dressed and hurry there!"

The TVs turned off.

"John Steed and Emma Peel have a secret lab?" Zenigata wondered.

"Wrong Avengers," Mamou mumbled.

"Oh."

"Yeah, those Avengers were actually believable," Lupin yawned.

Jigen was silent as he shot a glare at Lupin.

Lupin paid no attention as he got out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom.

Mamou glanced at a still bitter Jigen and smirked.

An hour after Stan's message the four were in the SUV being driven to a secret location, where they would then be blindfolded and carried off in a helicopter to some unknown place.

The car stopped at a light, a commotion going on ahead of them as people shrieked, car horns honked and tires screeched to a halt.

Wondering what was going on the four left the vehicle and wandered down the road.

What they saw shocked them.

An elephant was stomping a now vacant car. A rhino was charging a man's truck, the man inside terrified. Bears growled at pedestrians as lions ran after people.

"Um, did... did that lion just... eat..." Lupin said with eyes wide open and a shocked expression.

"It's kind of a shame Pycal wasn't here to witness that gruesome display," Mamou said as he stared at a lion that seemed to be choking to death on a pacifier.

"We need to do something," Zenigata said in anger. "Come on!"

The others watched as he ran forward. They shrugged and walked after him.

Zenigata ran up to a bear harassing park goers and yelled at it. The bear slowly turned to him and growled as it stood on it's hind feet.

Lupin glanced at a rampaging lion and looked around. He saw some metal, plastic and live wires from what was left of a car and grinned.

Jigen walked towards a rhino charging a bus full of people.

Mamou looked around him and had absolutely no idea what he was doing there.

The park goers cheered and ran off as Zenigata tossed cookies at the bear, the bear all too happy to have a sweet snack.

People weren't very sweet. And they were messy.

Zenigata tossed cookies towards a large cage some of the zoo workers had set up.

The bear, too distracted at the continuous trail off snacks, walked right into the cage and was caught and secured.

The zoo workers gave Zenigata a thumbs up, Zenigata waving back to them as he ran off to help others in need.

Lupin quickly crafted a type of stun gun from the car parts and used it to chase off the lion.

The lion, so traumatized at being shocked, took refuge in another large cage that had been set up.

More thumbs up and cheesy smiles as Lupin ran off to have fun shocking other large animals.

Jigen stood and stared down the rhino as it pawed it front foot on the road and lowered it's head. Not even flinching as the rhino began to charge him, Jigen reached back and pulled out his gun, emptying it into the rhino.

The rhino grunted out in pain as it continued to charge.

Jigen jumped and rolled away from the path of the rhino, looking over his shoulder as the large beast stopped and layed down, the sleeping bullets he fired doing it's job and the rhino falling asleep peacefully.

Mamou screamed in fear as he hung onto the back of an elephant, which did everything it could to get the annoying human off it.

Zoo workers scrambled and did what they could to subdue the elephant to help the man.

Lupin ran up and gave the elephant a nice shock to the ass, the elephant trumpeting loudly before taking off as fast as it could.

"Bye Mamou," Lupin yelled as he waved.

Zenigata grumbled as he was out of cookies. He thought of what else he could do, but at that point in time he really couldn't think of anything.

Out of sleeping bullets and already bored of the game Jigen walked off and got back in the SUV, a little surprised to see Zenigata already inside.

"Ran out of ammo," Zenigata said. "You?"

"Same," Jigen said.

The two looked off in opposite directions, neither saying another word.

Lupin's device having more power than it should have, he had too much fun shocking random animals and sometimes even shocking a few people here and there, just to see their reactions.

And to laugh at them.

"Superheroes," Stan said, the screen in the SUV turning on.

Jigen and Zenigata glanced at it in disinterest.

"I have seen your hard work with the zoo tragedy and have come to report that the one behind all of this is-"

"Disco Ant," Jigen, Zenigata and Stan all said at the same time.

"Huge shock, there," Jigen said with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm afraid he's planning something and using this as a distraction. You must get to the prison now, as I'm afraid that is his next location, to break out his partner, the nefarious Metal Moth."

"He's nefarious?" Jigen wondered.

"I guess," Zenigata sighed.

"Hunh."

The two sat around, waiting for Lupin and Mamou to show up so they could go to the prison.


	21. Round Seven Part Two

Writing these weird little comedy things where nobody is in character is fun, but it sucks when I'm trying to write the script for the Lupin comic I want to do and end up staring at the monitor for way too long trying to figure out what the characters are really like.

I guess I could watch more specials to see that Lupin is an idiot whose main goal anymore is saving the world, Jigen is retarded and worthless and fails at being funny or whatever they try to have him be, Goemon is... why is he even in the specials again? He may as well be invisible. Zenigata is super serious in catching Lupin and is a complete fool in doing so and Fujiko is pretty much the only character that seems consistent. Which I find odd. Although, her boobs have an odd way of growing and shrinking, mostly growing, from movie to movie. And her hair is sometimes pretty hideous. And why is she the only one who is allowed to randomly go blond? Blond Goemon would be fabulous.

* * *

**Round Seven Part Two**

"Well, that's just... okay, then."

Mamou could only stand and stare as he and the others looked on at what was left of the prison.

In fact, there was nothing left, all that remained being a smoldering hole in the ground.

Zenigata was angry. His good mood caused by poisoning zoo animals with sugar-filled cookies was no more. Nobody made a fool out of him. Well, maybe Lupin, but that was to be expected.

Disco Ant was no Lupin. He was just some weirdo whose appearance fit his name really well.

Lupin sighed in boredom. "Well, what's done is done. Let's go get something to eat."

The others watched as he walked back to the car.

Food did sound appealing.

...

"This is wonderful. Wonderful!" Disco Ant let out a loud cackle, one which spanned several seconds until it finally died out into a slow and uninspiring whine. "Why aren't you laughing?" he asked with narrowed and suspicious eyes at Metal Moth.

"Oh, right," Metal Moth said quickly and nervously. He began to cackle.

"Enough!"

Metal Moth quickly shut up and shrunk back as his boss stared at him.

After breaking Metal Moth from the prison Disco Ant was feeling rather adventurous and decided to just blow the whole place up. That was, after freeing everyone from the prison and forcing the guards to go home, as Metal Moth had insisted on.

Metal Moth would not make a good villain.

After that bit of fun the two left to Disco Ant's secret underwater lair.

"Now then," Disco Ant said as he rubbed his hands in a way that would make the best villain proud. "Is Cecil ready?"

Metal Moth only stared at Disco Ant while slowly shaking his head and shrugging.

"Cecil," Disco Ant yelled. "Cecil!"

"Is he a special guest of yours, boss?" Metal Moth wondered.

Disco Ant groaned. "Our secret weapon, you idiot!"

"Oh, that." Metal Moth laughed nervously. "I wasn't aware you gave it a name."

"Yes, I did. And it's a very fitting name, I do say."

"Seems like an odd name to me..."

"Odd? Odd? He is named after my childhood hero. Cecil the seasick sea serpent." Disco Ant sighed at the memories.

Metal Moth stared off in thought. "But, how can it be a sea serpent and be-"

"Shut up! I will not have you spoiling my memories!"

And like a good sidekick, Metal Moth shut up.

"Now, without further ado... Release Cecil!" Disco Ant cackled madly.

...

Half empty drinks in hand, the four superheroes left the fast food place and were on the way back to the lair.

"We're listening to this," Lupin insisted as he changed the radio back to the jazz station.

"No," Mamou said loudly as he turned it back to the rock station.

"We aren't listening to either station," Zenigata growled as he changed it back to the country station he had insisted on.

Jigen stayed out of it, his eyes staring at the strange serpent-like object in the distance.

"Jazz!"

"Country!"

"Jazz!"

"Rock!"

The driver sighed as shoulders and arms pushed him as they reached forward from the back seat.

"Um, guys?" Jigen said, his voice unheard over everyone's yelling.

The driver glanced over and gasped as the serpents long neck slammed into buildings along the coast.

"Get closer to it," Jigen told the man.

The man gulped loudly and did so, shaky hands gripping the steering wheel as he switched lanes.

...

Disco Ant laughed loudly as he watched on a large screen as the city was being torn apart by Cecil.

Metal Moth faked enthusiastic laughter. Deep down he was saddened by the evil destruction of it all.

...

The driver stopped the car, parking it in a lot by the shore, the serpent continuing it's rampage two hundred yards to their right.

It's loud screech made Lupin, Mamou and Zenigata stop fighting over the radio, the three now staring in shock at what was before them.

Lupin started to laugh. "What is that thing?"

The other could only stare at him.

"It's like a big... sausage... or something..." Lupin continued to laugh.

"Sausage?" Jigen wondered.

Cecil did not look anything close to a sausage.

"Come on, guys," Lupin said as he pointed towards it. "Let's get that thing and cook it!"

"Does he ever think about anything other than food?" Mamou wondered.

"Be grateful," Jigen muttered. "He could be wanting to screw the thing."

Mamou scrunched his face up in disgust.

The driver pulled out of the parking spot and drove off to get closer to it.

The fight over the radio started once again.

"I can't hear you guys, la la la~" Lupin said as he blasted the radio, saxophones screeching in everyone's ears.

Jigen reached desperately for the radio to turn it off, but instead hit the scan button, the radio stopping on a polka station.

Everyone in the car screamed in horror.

"Hey, look," the driver yelled, pointing at the serpent as it seemed to react to the music.

Cecil screeched loudly and rammed it's head into a building, trying to bury it's ears from the horrible sound coming from the car.

"He hates it," Jigen yelled.

"We all do!" Lupin reached for the radio but had his hand shoved back by Jigen.

"We need to get closer," Zenigata yelled.

"All the roads are blocked," the driver yelled back. "This is as close as I can get!"

Zenigata glared at the serpent. There was no way he was letting that thing get away with what it had done. "We'll have to go to it, then!"

Mamou looked on as Zenigata jumped out of the car. He decided to follow, if only to get away from the horrors of polka.

...

"What is it doing?" Disco Ant growled as he slammed his hands down on the desk in front of him. "Kill, Cecil! Destroy!"

All Disco Ant was seeing, though, was a subdued Cecil, it's head still inside of a building as it wailed in pain.

"Hey, it's those superhero fools," Metal Moth said as he pointed at the screen, four familiar looking people running towards the wreckage.

Disco Ant moved the camera and zoomed in.

What he saw angered and shocked him. But he mostly found it all so confusing.

...

"I don't know polka music," Mamou yelled as he and the others were now wearing their best polka outfits, each holding an accordion.

"Do we have to yodel?" Jigen asked, hoping the answer would be no.

"Come on," Lupin said as he started playing the accordion and dancing around. "The faster it falls, the sooner we eat!"

Zenigata joined in, he and Lupin playing and yodeling like two mad fools.

Jigen and Mamou looked at each other, neither wanting to participate.

"They sound like two cats in heat," Mamou muttered.

"I think I prefer the stuff we heard in the car..." Jigen sighed and played his accordion without much enthusiasm.

Mamou did the same, neither knowing what they were doing, but knowing that they wouldn't be caught dead yodeling.

Zenigata and Lupin were doing a fine enough job of that on their own.

"It's working," Lupin said.

Cecil pulled it's head from the building and spun around, waddling back to the shore as it cried out for mercy.

"Let's follow it," Zenigata suggested.

Lupin agreed, as Cecil was his dinner.

Jigen and Mamou walked after the two as they ran off.

Cecil wailed as got to shore and hurried into the water.

"No, my snack!" Lupin tossed the accordion behind him and ran into the water, swimming after Cecil.

Zenigata looked back as Jigen and Mamou caught up. The three stood and watched as Lupin swam after Cecil while yelling something about being hungry and just wanting a bite.


	22. Round Seven Part Three

And yet another voting chapter. Who of the four will get picked? And which one will be going home in the next chapter? Gasp, the possibilities! xD Okay, onto the chapter...

* * *

**Round Seven Part Three**

Lupin sneezed as he dragged himself into the lair. He was wrapped tightly in his gore-tex parka, but the polka clothes underneath still chilled his skin.

"And I didn't even get a bite," he whined as he sneezed again.

The others watched uncaringly as he dragged himself to the shower.

"So, what do you think Stan will say tonight?" Jigen wondered, not caring what the others opinions were, but bored and needing something to kill the time.

"That we were horrible and fail at being superheroes?" Mamou suggested. "Isn't that what he always says?"

Jigen shrugged.

"He better not," Zenigata said in annoyance. "After that performance today and how we saved the city, I think we all deserve some praise."

Jigen once again shrugged.

The room was silent as Mamou and Zenigata stared at him.

"What," Jigen wondered, noticing he was being stared at.

"What do you think Stan will say?" Mamou asked.

"Excelsior?" Jigen shrugged.

The others glared at him.

Jigen left to his room to change out of his embarrassing polka outfit.

"Superheroes," Stan said as the screen in the room turned on. "It's time for your evaluation reports. Be truthful and don't hold anything back."

The laptops magically appeared and the screen went dark.

"Have we ever held anything back?" Mamou wondered.

Zenigata didn't answer as he walked up and swiped one of the laptops.

Mamou sighed and grabbed one for himself, he and Zenigata sitting down and typing fervorously.

Jigen returned and noticed what they were doing, walking over and grabbing a laptop and sitting at the kitchen table.

Lupin left the bathroom, cleaning his ears with Q-Tips as he was called by Jigen. He stopped and peaked into the room.

"Evaluation time," Jigen said.

Lupin didn't look that interested. He couldn't eat a laptop.

Well, he could, but no amount of ketchup in the world would make it tasty enough.

He shuffled his feet towards the last laptop and took it, returning to the bedroom and closing the door so he could get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later the four were done with their scathing reports. They returned the laptops onto the table and the machines disappeared in a bright light.

The screen came on, Stan smiling at them. "I will now look over your reports and get back to you."

The screen went dark and for the next ten minutes the four sat in silence and boredom.

"Superheroes," Stan said. "I have your reports here. Read them carefully and seriously."

The screen changed to five points this time.

"Zenigata poisoned rare animals?" Zenigata growled, that being the first point in the list. He quickly looked at Lupin.

"I didn't write that," Lupin said angrily. "Wait, you poisoned animals? You heartless bastard!"

"I did no such thing," Zenigata yelled.

"Tch, not what I heard," Jigen muttered.

Zenigata shot a glare at him.

"Lupin electrocuted animals," Lupin read with a yawn. "Lupin enjoyed electrocuting animals," he read, that being the third point. "So what!"

Zenigata tensed as he face turned red in anger. "You could have killed them! Or made them sterile or something!"

"Like dead animals is such a big deal," Mamou rolled his eyes. "How do you think the Dodo bird became extinct?" He pointed proudly to himself.

Zenigata became sad. How could he be living with such horrible people?

"Jigen gets some credit, I suppose, for stumbling onto the polka thing," Jigen read. "Yeah, and because of me I had to wear some ridiculous outfit and listen to you two idiots have a yodeling contest," he muttered, glaring at Lupin and Zenigata.

"Lupin thinks too much about food and it hinders his ability to do the jobs he needs to do." Lupin scratched his head at that one. "When do I ever think about food?" he wondered, annoyed at the implication.

Nobody bothered to answer, shocked into silence by his idiocy.

The screen went back to Stan. "Superheroes, tonight, four will be come three as one of you vies to be the best of the best. Meet me upstairs."

"Thinks about food," Lupin grumbled, still upset at the gall someone had to accuse him of such things.

Jigen rolled his eyes as he followed Mamou out of the lair.

The four got to the roof and stood on their squares. They stood silently as the screen in front of them turned on.

"Superheroes, today was an eventful and tragic day. Thanks to your quick actions, though, the casualties were at a minimum. You handled yourselves well." He smiled proudly.

"Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo." Stan stared at him. "Today you were filled with creative and innovative ideas. Electrocuting wild animals might not be very humane or even recommended, but it did the job and kept innocent bystanders from being mauled and eaten."

"Why, thanks Stan," Lupin said, emphasizing Stan's name to show that he for once got it right.

Stan smiled at this. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, I am sure you have learned your lesson in giving animals sugary treats."

Zenigata nodded as he stared at Stan with his patented super serious expression.

"Good," Stan said with a surely nod. "Your actions with the sea serpent were heroic, running towards the ravaging beast like you did and leading your team into forming a polka band to further drive the monster away."

"Thank you, sir," Zenigata said in his patented super serious voice.

"Super Magical Mofo Pimp, shooting those beasts with tranquilizer bullets was very quick thinking. You saved both humans and rare species today. Great job."

"Excelsior, Stan," Jigen said in a put-on enthusiasm.

"Excelsior back at you, Super Magical Mofo Pimp!"

Mamou groaned.

"But," Stan said, breaking the buddy-buddy moment he and Jigen were having. "You weren't quite so great in participating in the polka band. And you were the one who found the monsters weakness. I am shocked and appalled at your behavior."

Jigen was confused. He thought he and Stan were connecting.

"Time Traveller." Stan gave him a serious glare.

Mamou shrunk back a little. 'Here it comes,' he thought with dread. 'He's going to tell me I suck...'

"With the first task... Well, you tried and that's all that mattered. And you also gave the second task a small bit of effort, so good job on that." Stan put on a big smile.

Mamou sunk his shoulders forward. He now wished he would have been told he sucked instead of being patronized like a child.

"Now, the time has come where three of you will be told to step forward for the elimination." Stan stared at the four contestants before calling out the three names. "Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo. Super Magical Mofo Pimp. Time Traveller. The three of you, please step forward."

After a quick glance at each other they stepped off their white blocks and stepped onto the red ones in front of them.

Zenigata stood proud that he wasn't picked, giving the others an almost gloating grin.

"Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, why should you stay?"

"You said so yourself, Stan. I was creative and innovative. And other things that end in -ive! I mean, sure, maybe I had a little bit too much fun shocking the animals, but boy, you should have seen Mamou cling to that elephant as it took off!" Lupin laughed as he glanced over at an irate Mamou. "How far did it get before it stopped?"

Mamou refused to answer.

"Ahem," Stan said as he stared at Lupin. "Anything else you wish to add?"

Lupin thought about it for a second. "Do I always think about food? Because I don't think I think about food. I mean, sure I get hungry but I-"

"You think about food all the damn time," Jigen said in a raised voice. "What is wrong with you that you can't realize this?"

"I dunno," Lupin mumbled as he gave his shoulders a slight shrug.

"Right, moving on to you, Super Magical Mofo Pimp," Stan said. "Why should you stay here?"

"Because if it wasn't for me then that giant sea thing would've killed us all."

"What?" Lupin said in protest. "Hey, if it wasn't for the three of us," he said as he motioned to he, Mamou and Zenigata, "then you wouldn't have even figured out the polka thing. And besides, you weren't even thinking about it being weak to polka. That just happened!"

"Yeah, and I was involved in it happening," Jigen yelled. "So stop trying to make it seem like it was all your idea because it wasn't!"

"So, pure dumb, and I emphasize dumb, luck is the reason you should stay?"

"I never even mentioned you in my reason."

"Oh, ha ha, you're so hilarious, Jigen!"

"Yeah, and you're the punchline," Jigen replied, not even knowing what he was saying anymore.

Stan sighed. "Time Traveller? Why should you stay?"

Mamou's eyes darted around as he tried to think of a good reason. "Okay, fine," he cried out as his eyes welled up with tears. "My superhero name is Time Traveller, but I am without my time machine, thanks to these idiots! But, if I had my time machine, think of the difference I could make! The zoo animals would have never gotten out! And, and, and... Disco Ant would have never been born! And I would rule this planet with an iron fist! But alas, I am but one simple man now, just trying to make due with what I have! It isn't my fault that the only thing I can do is try!"

And with that Mamou collapsed on his box and sobbed.

Stan and the others stared at him, almost feeling sorry for the sad little man. Almost.

"Right," Stan said happily. "Of the three of you before me, the one being sent home is..."


	23. Round Eight Part One

Well, the results were pretty obvious. xD One reason I didn't give Mamou much of a reason for staying. And I find it weird that the final three never went up at the same time. I mean, I know there are many combinations that can come from a random pick of 10 to 6 numbers, but I would think that once it got down to 5 that this combination would come up. Weird. Makes it very obvious who the final two are going to be, but maybe I'll end up surprised. -shrug- Anyway, on with the story.

* * *

**Round Eight Part One**

"... the one being sent home is... Time Traveller."

Lupin burst out laughing.

Mamou's need for a new time machine grew, his hunger for doing away with all Lupin's only getting worse.

Jigen shot a glare at Lupin. In a small way he wished it were him that was being sent away, having never lived with the man for this long and knowing now that them not being together all the time was for the best.

"Time traveller," Stan said as he gave Mamou a serious glance. "Let's face it. You sucked. Everything you touched turned to crap. You're better off returning to being a villain and plotting to kill Lupin. That's a role that suits you the best."

Mamou's anger dissipated. Stan actually thought he was a good villain. An evil smile crept across his face, a sadistic laugh leaving his mouth as murderous eyes stared at Lupin.

Lupin stopped his laughing and inched as far as he could away from Mamou.

"Hopefully I don't kill him first," Jigen muttered.

Mamou gasped. "You wouldn't! Would you?"

Jigen shrugged. "It's possible."

"Well don't!" Mamou replied as he shoved a finger in Jigen's face.

"We'll see."

"Right," Stan said. "Time traveller, turn in your costume and go back to your evil ways. Excelsior!"

Lupin glanced up at Stan, seeing that the man was much too joyous at Mamou's future role.

Mamou hopped off the square and tossed away his hat, a bright light flashing and the man now standing in his usual clothing. He gave Lupin one last evil glare and walked off.

"Well," Stan smiled as he stared at the remaining three. "Tomorrow is another day. So go back to the lair and do your thing."

The three gave unsure glances at each other, all going back to the lair as the screen shut off.

The night was quiet and short. Lupin had nobody to talk to, so he spent his time wisely, in the kitchen and chugging molasses until he passed out on the floor.

"Idiot," Jigen muttered as he walked into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water before going to bed.

Zenigata was slightly worried that the only reason he had for existing was dead.

Jigen assured him that, unfortunately, Lupin was still breathing.

Zenigata was relieved and went back to watching a COPS marathon until he passed out on the couch.

When morning came Jigen was the only one awake. In a way it was nice to not have to deal with anyone, able to drink his coffee and read his paper in peace and quiet.

And then Stan ruined his tranquility.

"Superheroes," the joyous man bellowed. "We have a special task for you today. It is a test of bravery. So, hurry up and meet me down at the One-Eyed Ridge Ranch. Excelsior!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Jigen muttered as his eyes never left the paper.

Finished with his paper Jigen felt it was time to wake the others. He woke up Lupin with a swift hard kick to the side and a loud "Get up, you idiot!" He was more gentler to Zenigata, which was hard after seeing the man drooling all over the place while mumbling "bad boys" and "watcha gonna do" in horrible English over and over.

His task complete, Jigen returned to the table and waited for the others to get ready.

"Where are we going?" Zenigata asked as he fitted on his blonde wig and girl scout hat.

Jigen really did have to wonder about the man.

"Is it a strip club?" Lupin excitedly asked.

Jigen glared at him before looking over at Zenigata. "Some one-eyed ranch or something. Wasn't really paying attention."

"Huh, interesting." Zenigata loaded up on cookies, feeling he was going to need them. "Well, the driver will know."

And with that he was out the door.

"Wait for me!" Lupin cried out in a prolonged whine as he chased after Zenigata.

Jigen sighed in annoyance and slowly followed them.

An hour later the SUV pulled onto a dirt road, dust kicked up as the vehicle made it's way to the wooden structures before them.

"Wow, it's like a real ranch," Lupin said in child-like excitement as he pressed his face against the side window.

"And we're here," the driver said as he stopped the car. "Good luck out there, superheroes."

"Thanks, mister driver man," Lupin said as he jumped out of the car, harder than he thought what with the giant coat he wore.

A shove from Zenigata had him face down on the dirt.

He started to get up when Jigen decided to use his back as a doormat.

"I'm so unloved," he pouted.

"Superheroes," Stan said, his voice full of energy that the three before him lacked. "Are you ready for an exciting day at the ranch?"

They all stared at Stan and his frightening enthusiasm and gave no reply.

Also given that Stan was in some odd cowboy outfit that was three sizes too large for him...

'At least he left of the giant ridiculous hat,' Jigen thought.

He thought too quickly, though, as Stan pulled out a giant cartoonish cowboy hat and wavered it around before putting it on, the thing surprisingly fitting his head.

"Wow," Lupin said in awe of the hat before him. "Can I get one of those?"

Zenigata shot a glare towards him, one that went unnoticed as Lupin was too busy admiring the thing of beauty before him.

"All these years I've had to listen to you going on about me and my hat and now suddenly you have a hat fetish?" Jigen said angrily.

"Because your hat is boring," Lupin scoffed. "But that? That is an amazing hat."

Stan took a step back, wary of Lupin and his overly sparkling eyes.

"I want to welcome you to Pistol Pete's One-Eyed Ridge Ranch," the cowboy standing next to Stan said as he stared at the three superheroes before him.

Lupin paid no attention to the man, as he wasn't wearing an awesome hat.

"Stan contacted me about putting you three through a course in order to test your bravery," the cowboy said. "And I've come up with just the thing."

Jigen was unsure of the man as he stared at them with an evil smile.

Zenigata didn't notice, as he knew he was brave and was only wondering what he had to do to prove what he knew as fact.

Lupin was still staring at Stan's hat.

They all walked to a pen behind the barn, which was filled with loud grunts and snorts of what they could only guess were bulls.

"And here we are, boys," the cowboy said.

The three stared at the pen, a small oval space that had a chair and a dummy placed in the center of it.

"In that chair there is Pistol Pete," the cowboy began to explain. "You see, Pistol Pete is old and has a bad limp from a tussle he had with a ferocious prairie dog. And now he's found himself in a peck of trouble, trapped in a pen after taking a short rest in that there chair."

"Why can't he just get up and leave the pen," Jigen wondered with a roll of his eyes, the fact he was asking this about a dummy not yet hitting him.

"He's just plum tuckered out," the cowboy said. "But, while he was taking a rest, his daughter, Shotgun Sally, accidently released the bulls into the pen."

The cowboy nodded and a ranch worker unleashed the bulls, the giant muscular beasts rampaging into the pen, the froth from their mouths flying through the air as they flung their heads about in rage.

The three just stood and stared.

"What your job is is to get in there and rescue Pistol Pete before he's done gone gored by them bulls there." The cowboy smirked at the three.

"I think I just crapped my pants," Lupin muttered.

"Wait, go in there?" Jigen said in a loud voice. "With those things? Are you insane?"

"I'll do it," Zenigata said, mustering up the courage inside. Once he thought about it the task really wasn't that bad. He'd dealt with worse in a single twenty minute episode. Bulls were nothing, even if they did have murder in their eyes.

"Huh?" Jigen stared at Zenigata as if he were insane.

"But... the dummy isn't even a woman!" Lupin motioned his hand towards it, not even seeing the point in the exercise.

"And remember, superheroes," Stan said. "No harm is to come to these creatures. You cannot electrocute them, shoot them, or poison them with cookies."

Zenigata nodded and dropped the cookies he held onto the ground.

The others watched as he jumped over the fence and walked with purpose towards the dummy. He ignored the bulls around him and was five feet from the chair when he was noticed by a particularly frisky bull, who immediately tried mounting him.

Zenigata yelled out in horror and scrambled from the pen.

He had never dealt with those sorts of horrors in any episode.

Lupin laughed. "You're such a girl," he said as he hopped over the fence and watched the bulls carefully.

The bulls ran around him and snorted. Luckily for Lupin the frisky one didn't seem to like him very much and stood off in the background, ignoring the man in the giant coat.

Lupin dodged and zig-zagged around the bulls. He got to the chair and picked up the dummy, looking with great uncertainty at the raggedy thing in his hands. He tried really hard to imagine it was a very sexy woman, but no amount of thought power could make him see what he wanted.

"Saving a man," he sighed. "And not even a handsome one!"

With one last disappointed look at the dummy he turned and began his way back. He got close to the fence when he was struck by a bull and hurled through the air, the dummy leaving his grasp and miraculously falling back into the chair as Lupin fell ten feet outside of the pen with a hard thud.

Jigen looked back at Zenigata and Lupin and felt ashamed to be human.

"Well, Super Magical Mofo Pimp, it's all up to you now," Stan said as he waved his gigantic hat around.

Jigen was then ashamed to like hats.

The bulls snorted and watched as Jigen entered the pen. Suddenly they grouped together, all blocking the way to the chair and dummy.

Jigen didn't care at that point. He was so sick and tired of everything and everyone that he could have been gored to death and died with a smile on his face knowing that he was soon to be free of everything he hated.

The bulls snorted and tensed as he approached them. A couple glanced at each other, nervous as the human didn't seem phased by their display of power.

Jigen eyed the head bull. It looked absolutely nothing like Lupin, but for some reason it reminded him so much of the man. That alone pissed him off, each step now taken with purpose as he walked right up to the bull.

The two were face to snout, the bull snorting hot moist breath in Jigen's face.

Jigen's jaw tensed, his eyes narrowing, his right hand becoming a tight fist.

Stan and the cowboy watched with waiting breath.

The bull made the first move, a small dig into the hard soil with it's left hoof.

That was enough for Jigen, though, reaching back with his right fist and throwing it forward with all his anger and hatred.

There was a loud cry as fist connected with snout, the bull's head thrown back with great force, that force catching up to the rest of the bull's body as it fell to the ground and lay their unconscious.

The other bulls, seeing this, cried out in panic and broke free of the pen, all of them in a mad dash to the barn where they hid from the rage-filled human.

The cowboy cried out in sadness. "Betsy! Oh no!" He jumped the fence and ran up to the defeated bull, cradling it's head in his arms. "Talk to me, Betsy! Say something!"

"Who in their right mind names a bull Betsy?" Jigen asked as he stared down at the cowboy with great disdain. Having had enough of the sickening scene before him he walked over and grabbed the dummy, taking it out of the pen and tossing it at Stan's feet.

Stan stared down at the dummy and then slowly looked back up at Jigen.

"There. The dummy is saved. Can we leave now?" Jigen stomped back to the car.

Stan watched as Jigen got into the car and slammed the door shut. He then glanced over at Lupin, still laying there unconscious, and Zenigata, who was still in a fetal position and crying.

If it weren't for the threat of Disco Ant still looming on the horizon Stan would just say Jigen was the winner and end the whole show.

"Damn that Disco Ant," he muttered as he walked off.

* * *

The way I portray Lupin in this, I don't know. xD I laugh way too much at the stuff I write, but I find it weird that if he were like this in the series that I would have ended up hating it and never watching more than an episode. But in this story it's hilarious. Weird.


	24. Round Eight Part Two

Sorry for the long delay in updating this. Just couldn't think of anything to write for it. :(

* * *

**Round Eight Part Two**

They got back to the lair and Jigen threw his hat onto the couch in anger, disgust, and annoyance. "I'm sick of this," he complained.

Lupin laughed in that smug way that made Jigen want to drown himself, if only to never hear that laugh again. "Aw, poor baby. Do you want your bottle?"

"Screw you!" Jigen yelled.

"Not sure that's possible," Lupin shrugged. "Besides, I don't really want anything penetrating my ass."

"Oh? That's funny, considering Goemon's head has been shoved up there for years and you've never complained."

"What?" Lupin laughed. "That wouldn't be humanly possible! You see the size of that guys head? I mean, the hair alone would-"

"Enough," Zenigata screamed, shuddering. "I don't want to hear anymore about heads and hair and asses! Please!"

Lupin laughed in that perverted way that made Jigen want to catch himself on fire.

Zenigata gave Lupin one last glare before walking to the kitchen for a drink.

"Superheroes," a man in an odd mask and cape said as the screens all over the lair suddenly turned on.

"Hey, you're not Stan," Lupin said, feeling betrayed.

"We have received some important news that you must hear." The man spoke slowly, with absolutely no emotion and with odd pauses between each word as if he were reading horribly from a script. "I am sending it to you now."

The three stood and stared at the screen, which quickly went black, an address in white font placed in the middle of it.

Zenigata glared at every letter, syllable and vowel. He nodded and started towards the door.

"We're leaving now?" Lupin whined. "Didn't we just..." His words trailed off and he let out a long defeated sigh as Jigen followed Zenigata out the door. "Get back?" he finished. Saddened that he was not able to make it to the kitchen, he shuffled off.

Zenigata sat in the passenger seat. Lupin sat behind him and Jigen sat next to Lupin. The car ride was quite an uncomfortable one. Until...

"Ooh! Corn dogs!" Lupin leapt from the seat and loomed over Zenigata's shoulder while pointing to a small shack, its sign that of a large smiling corn dog. "Corn dogs! Corn! Dogs!"

Zenigata wiped the drool from his shoulder and planted his hand in Lupin's face, shoving him back into his seat.

Nobody said anything, the driver knowing they'd never get any peace unless they stopped at the shack.

Lupin and Zenigata stood in front of the dirty stand, the smell of old stale grease wafting from within.

Lupin watched happily, humming a song he had made up earlier, the lyrics, when they had them, only consisting of "I'm getting corn dogs" and said repeatedly.

Zenigata glared at the stand. Although not a health inspector, he could see six violations already. He passed on getting anything to eat.

Jigen leaned on the hood of the car while waiting for the others. "Told you you should have gone first," he said as Zenigata walked towards him.

Zenigata shook his head. "I think I saw mold on the ketchup. And the mustard expired four years ago."

Jigen watched as Lupin tried to load all the food he ordered in his arms. "Maybe it'll kill him," he muttered.

Zenigata glanced over at him, confused. What had happened to make these two men hate each other so?

"Corn dogs," Lupin belted out as he walked to the car. "I've got my corn dogs! Da doo doo dun, corn dogs!"

Jigen grabbed a corn dog and shoved it in Lupin's mouth.

"Mphum," Lupin said, thanking Jigen, as now he could eat.

Jigen watched in slight disgust as Lupin sucked up the corn dog, swallowed, and then spit out the stick.

Zenigata turned away from the sight, looking a little shocked as he saw Melon walking towards him.

Jigen looked to his right, locking eyes with Pycal and Mamou.

Lupin smiled as he saw Goemon approaching. "Buddy! How's life been? It's been forever since I-"

His words were silenced as Goemon's sword sliced right in front of his face.

"Goemon?" Jigen wondered. He looked on as Mr. X, Fujiko and Mamo walked towards Lupin.

The old castmates all had one things in common: dull and lifeless eyes.

Lupin stared down at his empty arms, his precious corn dogs laying in pieces at his feet. "Cuh, cuh, corn dogs? Corn dogs." He looked up at Goemon. "Corn dogs," he growled, fists clinched in anger.

Goemon prepared to strike.

"How dare you defile such a treasured thing as corn dogs," Lupin yelled while pointing at Goemon.

The two faced off.

Jigen crossed his arms over his chest as he watched. There was no way he was getting involved.

"Does Goemon suddenly hate Lupin, too?" Zenigata wondered.

"I think they're all supposed to be possessed or something," Jigen shrugged.

Zenigata let out a grunt as Melon grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground.

Jigen glanced over at the two and stepped a little to the side, giving them enough room to have their little fight.

"You, you, you bastard," Lupin yelled, reaching into his giant coat and pulling out a frying pan.

Goemon let out a yell and ran towards him.

Lupin pulled back and threw the frying pan as hard as he could.

Goemon sliced the pan without pause as he continued running. Two steps in there was a large explosion, frying pan chunks flying everywhere.

Goemon flew back and landed hard to the ground. He started to get up, but fell unconscious.

"An exploding frying pan?" Jigen asked as he gave Lupin an unsure look. "Really?"

"And what's so wrong with that?" Lupin wondered with a glare. "It worked, didn't it?

"It's a frying pan! It doesn't make sense!"

"I know! Isn't it great?" Lupin stared at him with a big smile.

Jigen sighed.

Zenigata and Melon continued their sparring match, each trying to out-judo the other.

Lupin could only relax for a few seconds before he had Mamou coming after him, having to avoid every punch thrown his way. He looked down as Mr. X was latched onto his leg and started gnawing on it. He avoided another punch while shaking his leg about, trying to fling Mr. X off of him.

Jigen smiled as he watched, entertained by the show before him.

Lupin was able to elbow Mr. X in the head and knock him out. He then reared back and kicked Mamou in the side of the head, knocking him out as well.

Jigen looked over as Zenigata had Melon in a choke hold, Melon falling unconscious into his arms.

"Oh, Lupin," Fujiko said flirtingly.

"Fujiko," Lupin cried out happily, running towards her. He stopped when she pulled out a knife and began to attack him, avoiding all her strikes not as easy as he thought it'd be.

Pycal came up behind Lupin and struck him in the head, knocking him down.

Mamo wandered up to the car and stood next to Jigen.

Jigen glanced down at him before going back to watching the fight. "So, how's the cloning business?"

"So-so," Mamo shrugged. "Did you know that a man in Russia cloned a bear?"

"Nope," Jigen responded in boredom.

"He got all kinds of awards and had interviews and everything. I clone George Washington and what do I get? Nothing!"

"That's the breaks, man."

"The stupid Nobel committee," Mamo muttered. "Do they not know genius when it's right in front of them?"

"You know what you should do? Clone a six legged turkey. I'd buy one. Turkey legs are good."

"So..." Mamo stared off deep in thought. "Clone something that doesn't have to do with global destruction or making me a god? Can it be that easy?"

"Clone potatoes to be the size of a human head. And corn the length of an adult leg. And make them so they grow really fast." Jigen glanced down at Mamo. "You could make a lot of money off that."

"That is excellent," Mamo said happily, wringing his hands all evil-like.

"Oh, but when you do, you have to do it on the basis of world hunger and all that crap. People really buy into that bullshit."

Mamo laughed and turned towards Jigen. "I'm really glad we had this talk." He extended his hand out for Jigen to shake.

Jigen glanced down and unenthusiastically shook Mamo's hand. "So, aren't you supposed to be in on this act?" he wondered as he motioned his head towards Lupin fighting Pycal and Fujiko.

"Hmm, I should, but it's just so barbaric, you know? Even if it isn't real."

Jigen shrugged. To him it was pointless. He already knew what would be said, how it was all Disco Ant's doing and how they had to stop him before he did something more evil.

"Well, I should be going," Mamo said as he took one last look at the fight.

"See ya," Jigen said as he made a sad attempt at a wave, his heart not even into doing such menial movements.

Mamo walked off, knowing what he must do for world domination.

"Gah," Lupin yelled, Mamou, Mr. X and Goemon once again awake and on the attack.

Zenigata once again struggled with Melon as she jumped on his back and bit on his ear violently.

Jigen sighed, now even more bored and knowing that there was one stupid thing they had to figure out that would break the spell. He wasn't up to thinking, though, so he did the next best thing.

He reached into the car and turned the radio on, turning up the volume as loud as it could go as the station it was on blasted ear-splitting polka music.

Mamou covered his ears and screamed as he ran off.

"Wait for me," Mr. X yelled as he ran after him.

"Oh my god, what is this?" Fujiko wondered as she clasped her hands over her ears and retreated.

"You are an evil man, Jigen," Melon yelled before scurrying off.

Pycal, having gotten used to the music and being one not known for a sane taste in anything, looked around to see he was alone. He glared at Lupin and Zenigata, who were writhing in anguish on the ground as they did all they could to block out the music. He looked over at Jigen, who continued to lean against the car. "Why aren't you bothered by this?"

Jigen just shrugged.

"Tch, fine, I guess we're all supposed to run away, so I'll go." Pycal took one last evil look at Lupin before walking off.

Goemon stared at Jigen and walked towards him. He pulled out his blade and sliced the car into pieces. To his dismay the polka music continued on. Defeated by the evil sounds he hung his head low and wandered off.

...

A short cab ride later the three arrived at the address they were supposed to be at three hours ago. Upon quick inspection they found the place empty.

"Now what?" Zenigata wondered.

Jigen shrugged.

"Wow, Jigen," Lupin said in fake enthusiasm. "Your brilliant words have so changed my way of living that I will never see the world the same way ever again!"

Zenigata let out a slight growl. "Let's just get back to the lair. Maybe Stan has something for us."

"Yeah, an elimination," Jigen said as he walked towards the door.

Lupin looked at Zenigata and grinned. "You're going home to your sad pathetic life," he laughed.

"Oh? And what did you do that was so useful?" Zenigata wondered as he got into Lupin's face.

"What'd you do to help in anything?" Lupin smirked.

The anger left Zenigata while the smugness left Lupin, the two realizing that neither of them were very useful and that Jigen seemed to be the one who did the most, while at the same time doing the least.

"We're so screwed," Lupin sighed.

Zenigata said nothing, his mind working out some sort of scheme to stay on the show. He turned and walked to the door.

Lupin stared at him as he left the room. If he was going to remain another day he knew he had to do something and do it fast.


	25. Round Eight Part Three

Hey, no random number picking. :D And, yay, this story actually made it this far! And so, it's now time to read and vote. Enjoy. :3

* * *

**Round Eight Part Three**

Jigen walked out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist as he wandered into his room to grab some clothes. As he passed the main room he noticed Lupin and Zenigata standing next to each other and whispering.

Lupin and Zenigata, seeing Jigen walking by, quickly shut up and glanced at him as if everything was normal.

Jigen didn't seem to care, which bothered the two.

"Now what?" Zenigata wondered. "You said he'd get suspicious."

"Yeah, I thought he would." Lupin stared off in thought. "Unless he is and just not showing it."

"And how are we supposed to know if that's the case?"

"How am I supposed to know," Lupin wondered.

"I say we go onto plan two," Zenigata said with an evil grin.

Lupin was a little surprised, but happy.

Jigen came out of his room fully dressed and took his place on the couch, deciding to relax until they heard from Stan for their evaluation session.

His rest was short, however, as the screens turned on and a beaming Stan showed up. "Superheroes! It's now time for your last evaluation. Remember to be thorough and truthful. And list only the things which matter to the last two tasks, please." He smiled and the screen went black.

Three laptops appeared on the table, each one being taken.

Jigen typed one short sentence and closed the laptop, setting it back on the table before going back to laying on the couch.

Lupin and Zenigata noticed this, giving each other worried glances.

The two typed away, trying to come up with anything to make themselves the heroes of the last two tasks.

When that didn't seem to work for them, they went a different route.

Jigen rolled his eyes as Lupin giggled like a girl at the stuff he typed.

Zenigata began to sweat. What exactly was he putting down? And what could he type that would be better than what Lupin was typing?

"Okay, superheroes," Stan said. "You can finish up your thoughts so I can go over them."

Stan waited patiently while Lupin and Zenigata continued to type. The two done and the laptops on the table, Stan smiled. "I'll go over these and be back with you shortly."

The screens went black and the waiting began.

"What'd you type?" Zenigata whispered to Lupin.

Lupin could only giggle.

Zenigata gave him an unsure look before walking away to the kitchen.

The screens came back on, an unhappy Stan staring at them. "When I said to be truthful, I meant it. Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, you made no effort to put down anything of value. Accusing your teammate of lewd acts with animals and having a pudding fetish, whatever that means, is unacceptable."

Jigen shot Lupin a glare.

"Hey, you're not supposed to know who typed what!" Lupin glared at the man.

"I'm not? Who else would turn in a computer covered in neon orange fingerprints?" He held up the laptop, which was almost completely orange.

Lupin stared sadly at his Cheeto cheese covered fingers and began to lick them slowly.

"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies," Stan said. "I can't even make sense of anything you typed. Is this even a language?"

Lupin, both hands now shoved in his mouth as he tried to savor every molecule of cheese powder, laughed.

"And Super Magical Mofo Pimp, I don't care how bored you are of all of this! You were the one who signed up to be on this show!"

Lupin and Zenigata realized they worried for nothing and were not that happy with Jigen for making them do so.

"Well, I see this was completely useless," Stan sighed. "Just get onto the roof, all of you."

The screens went black and the three made their way to the roof.

They got onto their white blocks and stared up at a disgusted Stan.

"All three, step forward onto the red blocks," Stan demanded.

They did as they were told.

"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, I will start with you."

Zenigata stared nervously at the large screen. He knew he would now be having nightmares of a large angry head laughing evilly as it loomed over him.

"The first task." Stan sat back in his chair. "First off, it's your cologne. I'd advise you to wear something different when around bulls. Second, you showed real bravery out there, volunteering to be the first to take the task on. And yet, after your incident, you didn't show any strength to get back on your feet and go back in. Not very heroic, if you ask me."

Zenigata sighed as his spirits sunk a little lower.

"And on the second task, you fought like a champ. You clearly won the battle out there."

"What?" Lupin blurted out. "He only fought one person! I had everyone gang up on me! And yet, he won?!"

Stan glared at Lupin and let out a short grunt. "I'll be getting to you shortly..."

Lupins glare faded. "Oh." He wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Stan looked back at Zenigata and continued. "I am sure that with the defeat of your ex-colleague that you would have helped out your partner and defeated the others as well. And then figured out how to break the spell that Disco Ant had placed on them."

Jigen rolled his eyes. Disco Ant was an idiot. Why make him out to be some sort of brilliant villain?

Zenigata nodded. "I would have, yes."

"But, you didn't," Stan said as he looked away from Zenigata and over at Lupin. "Now, Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, let's start off with the first task."

Lupin smiled stupidly.

"You did not volunteer first, but you did show bravery while entering the pen and you actually got to Pistol Pete. But then, you hesitated and allowed the bulls time to regroup and plan their attack. And why did you hesitate? Because Pistol Pete wasn't a beautiful woman. Are you really that shallow of a person that you wouldn't rescue someone because they were a goofy and ugly looking male?"

Lupin paused as he thought about it.

"Nevermind," Stan sighed. "With the second task, ignoring the whole corn dog fiasco, you held up pretty good, fighting off everyone around you. But again, you hesitated while fighting Fujiko."

"Well, I'm not gonna beat up on a woman," Lupin said, as if everyone knew he would do no such thing.

"Well, you didn't have to beat her up. Simply disarming her and pinning her down would have sufficed. But you couldn't even do that."

"She was kind of sexy with that knife," Lupin said with a stupid smile as he stared off and pictured her in his head.

"Well, in any case, you fought well. But fighting well isn't everything. You also have to fight smart." Stan looked over at Jigen. "Super Magical Mofo Pimp, I have to say that you're one of the laziest superheroes I have ever seen."

Zenigata and Lupin looked at him and smirked.

"The laziest, yet the luckiest," Stan said, perplexed by the man before him. "On the first task you did nothing to show that you cared, but when the others failed you walked into that ring with purpose and, frankly, put on the best show I have seen in my lifetime. You were like a true superhero out there, punching out that bull like you did and saving the poor frail Pistol Pete from danger."

Lupin and Zenigata quit smirking. Once again dread filled them.

"And with the second task, you did absolutely nothing to help out your fellow teammates. Instead, you may have helped in ending world hunger, putting the world's poor and starving citizens ahead of everything else. It's an admiral thing you did. But, that wasn't the point of the task. And while you did break your ex-teammates from their spell, you really didn't, as they went completely off-script and fled from the horrors of polka."

"Hmm, I guess," Jigen shrugged.

"And after all of this, Disco Ant still managed to escape," Stan said, as if slightly scolding them for their failings. "So even though you saved the world for one more day, tomorrow it may be in peril again." Stan leaned back in his chair and stared at the three. "Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies, Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo, Super Magical Mofo Pimp... tonight, one of you will be leaving the lair. This is a hard decision for me to make, but after evaluating each one of you, I have made my choice. The one leaving tonight is..."


	26. Round Nine Part One

I am sad that I hadn't touched this story in almost a month. And since I was amazingly in a semi-good mood I decided to take advantage of that and finish this chapter. All the characters were supposed to be in this, but Pycal got left out. Too busy burning the world down for me.

* * *

**Round Nine Part One**

"The one leaving tonight is..." Stan looked long and hard at the last three standing. "Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo."

Lupin was shocked, only able to stare blank-faced at the screen. He never lost. Never.

Zenigata felt as though a giant fist slammed itself into his stomach. In a way it was as if he lost as well. He stared over at Lupin in sadness.

"Oh. My. GOD," Jigen yelled out as he glared up at Stan. "What the hell do I have to do to get off this damn show?! I mean, seriously, tell me! Tell me what I have to do! Because I've been trying to suck for the last I don't know how many competitions and yet you never chose me to leave! Why?! WHY?!"

Zenigata glanced down as Jigen was now on his knees sobbing. He then looked back at Lupin, who continued staring off, as if trying to figure this whole "defeated loser" thing out.

"Magical Gore-tex Parka Eskimo," Stan said, ignoring the sad sobbing hatted man and staring at Lupin. "You have so much more you can do with your time. I have to wonder why you even bothered to come on this show."

Stan no longer cared if he called the current ratings smash a show or not. He was long ago told by producers to continue making a mockery out of it, as the viewers seemed to love the cheese factor.

"I... I wanted my own comic book," Lupin said, lower lip quivering. "And my own superhero movie!" he said while sobbing into his sleeve.

"Um, Lupin." Zenigata stared in annoyance at the man.

"Has anyone ever told you how effing stupid you are?" Jigen yelled while glaring up at Lupin.

Lupin continued to cry.

"What Jigen is trying to say is you have your own comic." Zenigata didn't seem too happy to have to tell Lupin this.

Lupin stopped crying and stared in confusion at Zenigata. "I do?"

"Oh my god..." Jigen muttered, trying to not kill the thief.

"Yes," Zenigata answered as he stared in disbelief at Lupin. "You've had several series of comics done by different people. Plus all those weird yaoi ones fans have made. Also, all those movies you've been in. You know, the ones where you save the world and yet never get laid for your efforts, and where I'm the stumbling and bumbling retard, and Goemon is the girl while Jigen is useless? Those movies?"

"When am I ever helpful?" Jigen asked, as if that was a known fact his movie role was useless sidekick.

"Well, there was that time when- oh, no, nevermind. I was thinking of something else."

"Exactly." Jigen scoffed. "I only do it for the paychecks."

"Wait, they pay you?"

Jigen could only stare at the man.

While their discussion was going on Lupin gazed off into the distance as he contemplated the deeper things in life. "Oh yeah," he said, breaking from his intelligent thought and back to the horrid movies he starred in. "I remember those. What am I doing here, then?" he wondered, stepping off the block while shrugging out of his jacket. "I'm outta here. See you losers later. I need to go talk to some writers about that never getting laid thing." He tossed his jacket in the trash can and walked off the roof.

"Okay, then," Stan said while putting on a smile. "It is now down to the final two. Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies and Super Magical Mofo Pimp, return to the lair and get some sleep. I have a feeling you'll be needing it."

Jigen and Zenigata stared at each other, realizing they had the whole lair to themselves and happy for it, all except for the part about having it to themselves.

Eyes narrowed as they sized each other up.

"You're going down, Hippie," Zenigata said.

"Oh yeah, Gramps? Bring it on!"

There was another three seconds of glaring before they felt they did their moment of cheese for the fans and left the roof.

Ten hours later...

Jigen and Zenigata woke up from their hangovers, the two having fallen into a depressed state of drunkenness after realizing what sad and boring lives they actually led.

"Superheroes," Stan yelled cheerfully at the two.

Jigen threw an empty beer bottle through the TV.

"I have great news for the both of you," Stan continued in his jovial ways.

Jigen looked up, for the first time realizing the place had more than one TV. His head jerked from one screen to the next. "Oh god..." The sweat of panic drizzled down his brow. "He's... he's everywhere!"

Zenigata watched as beer, vodka and scotch bottles went flying in every direction. Some hit their mark, but most missed. "And you call yourself a marksman," he scoffed.

Jigen beaned him in the nuts with a bottle, smiling in satisfaction as Zenigata was rolled up in a fetal position and moaning on the floor.

"Today, we're going to do something fun!" The smile of which was portrayed on Stan's face was frightening. So frightening, in fact, that it was reported immediately after that sixteen people died instantly after witnessing such a horrifying thing.

"Whee, fun," Jigen said, the lack of enthusiasm dripping from his words.

"Today, we're going to go to the tzzzrrrooo-!"

The TV turned to snow and static noise as another feed tried it's best to come through.

Various bits of profanity were heard through the static noise.

The screen finally stopped rolling, the snow fading as the feed was how it should be, an evil grinning Disco Ant staring at them.

"Hello, my friends," he said, as if trying to proposition them for something nasty. "Hey, wait a second." Disco Ant stared hard into the screen. "Where's the idiot in the big coat?"

Jigen and Zenigata looked around the room.

"How is he seeing us?" Zenigata whispered.

Jigen shrugged. "Surprised he can see after seeing you naked."

"Wait, what? When did that happen?"

"Last night. You threw off all your clothes, said you were a cowboy and then tried to ride the couch, of which I will never get within ten feet of ever again."

"It was pretty disturbing," Disco Ant said with a sad nod.

Zenigata stared down in shame and embarrassment.

"Oh, and don't worry. Nobody saw it." Disco Ant grinned big. "Except for the millions of people watching on the internet."

Zenigata wondered if he could kill himself with stale cookies. Oh how he wished to have his gun again.

"But, anyway, onto real business." Disco Ant walked to a chair and sat down, crossing his legs and folding his hands together onto his lap.

Behind his were two curtains. He lifted his left hand and one curtain fell, revealing a cage. Inside of the cage was an old woman, looking quite bewildered.

"Mu-mother," Zenigata said in shock.

"Ko-Ko?" she wondered, looking around.

Jigen began to laugh.

"Where are you?" she asked. "And why am I in a cage?"

"Mother, don't worry! I'll have you out in no time!" He looked at a grinning Disco Ant. "You fiend! What have you done to my mother?!"

"Done to her?" Disco Ant wondered with a confused look. "Don't you mean what she has done to me? All she's done since we've had her was nag me about my clothes and the way I speak and my hair. My hair! My hair is delicious! Nobody puts down my hair! So, if you want back which you are so fond of, I suggest you hurry! Before I choke her to death with a fistful of my wonderful hair!"

"You wouldn't," Zenigata gasped.

"Ko-Ko! Are you married yet?" His mother gave him a scolding stare. "I'm not getting any younger! I'd like to have grandkids before my hundredth birthday! Oh, why couldn't you have been like your cousin Rai-Rai? He's given his parents six grandkids, plus he's the president of the National Bank! And what are you? You shame me, my son!"

"I'm sorry, mother," Zenigata said, almost reduced to sobs from the shame she threw at him.

"Sure you want to save her?" Jigen asked while rolling his eyes.

"Please take her," Disco Ant begged with a look of desperation.

"Oh boy, can't wait to see who I have to rescue," Jigen said sarcastically. "What gem from my past have you drudged up?"

"Well, actually... We didn't, really." Disco Ant laughed nervously.

The curtain to the right of him was lowered to reveal a sheep trapped inside of the cage.

Jigen was not amused.

"You see, Jigen, your life is so pathetic and filled with hilarious tragedy that anyone you've ever had feelings for is now dead. It's like these women fling themselves in front of wayward bullets just so they don't have to suffer the fate of marrying you. And god forbid they have to sleep with you. That's cause for throwing oneself in front of a speeding bus, as those are more common than wayward bullets and bring a much quicker end to one's miserable future existence."

"They kill themselves?" Jigen wondered. "Really? Because of me?"

Disco Ant laughed in pleasure.

"Hmm. Now I have to figure out a way for this to work on Fujiko..."

Disco Ant stopped laughing. "You are an insufferable human being," he muttered.

"But mother," Zenigata said, continuing to listen to her nagging. "You don't have another son."

"Exactly!" she spat.

The sheep looked dumb and bleated.

"Oh shut up," Jigen yelled.

Both Zenigata and his mother gave him the death leer.

"I was talking to the sheep!" Jigen looked away from both, not wanting to be there anymore.

Disco Ant cackled. "I suggest if you want to see these two hideous beings alive that you hurry and save them. And by the time you get your first clue, I will have stashed them somewhere in a heavily guarded and fortified area, so be prepared to fight for the one you care most about."

The screen shut off, then quickly came back on again, a shocked Stan staring at them. "That devious Disco Ant! Well, superheroes, I hope you are prepared for this task. Your brains will have to be in tip-top shape to solve what Disco Ant has prepared for you. Now go forth and excelsior!"

The screen went blank.

"Did he say 'first clue'?" Jigen glanced over at Zenigata.

Zenigata nodded.

"Kill me now," Jigen sighed as he walked off to get dressed.

Both now in their superhero outfits and inside of the SUV, they waited patiently to be taken to wherever it was they were to be taken.

Neither were happy when the car stopped at a park.

"This is where I let you two off," the driver said. "Excelsior and all that."

The two got out of the car and looked around.

"Look, mommy," a boy of around six years of age said while pointing at Zenigata. "It's the cowboy!"

The boys mother gasped in horror and covered her son's eyes, quickly rushing him away while giving Zenigata a glare of shame.

Zenigata sighed sadly. More shame cast upon him was definitely not what he needed.

"Jigen."

Jigen looked behind him as Mamo approached.

"Hmm?"

"You know, I tried your world hunger approach this morning." Mamo got an evil grin. "Brilliant! I have the EU and the United States alone throwing seven billion dollars at me to aid in my research! Isn't this world great?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Jigen looked away from the creepy blue skinned semi-midget. "If you don't mind, I have a sheep to rescue."

"Oh yes, that's why I'm here. I have a clue to give you as to the sheeps whereabouts."

"Wonderful," Jigen sighed.

Mamo took out a piece of paper and began to read from it. "I am a large room and sometimes my roof is arched. I am above the ground, on the ground and underneath it. Inside of me are many things, such as metal, bodies and rocks. What am I?"

Jigen stared at the man. "I don't know. An old and creepy sort-of-kind-of midget?"

"Not me, you dolt! The clue! The clue!"

Jigen just shrugged.

"And I am not a midget," Mamo yelled while stomping a foot.

"Whatever." Jigen turned and walked off.

"Riddles?" Zenigata was not happy.

"Inspector," a hushed voice nearby said.

Zenigata looked to his left to see Melon sitting on a park bench and acting not very conspicuous as she had her face buried in a newspaper.

"I have something for you," she whispered.

Zenigata was not amused and sat down next to her.

"I can be made of metal," she began to read. "I can be made of wood. I can hold many people, although I prefer to display things more natural and sweeter while standing by the road. What am I?"

"The hell should I know," he groused.

"You can be disqualified if I give you the answer."

"I'm not asking for the answer!"

"You don't need to be so rude," she muttered as she stood and walked off.

Zenigata could only sigh.

"Hmm," an old mustachioed man said as he stared off in thought.

Jigen stared at him, every second ticking by making him that more annoyed and impatient. He didn't have all day to save his sheep.

"An arched roof and it holds things..."

"Yes, that's what I said."

"I would say what you're looking for is a vault."

"Vaults don't have arched roofs..."

"No, but an arched roof is said to be vaulted. Like a vaulted ceiling." The man chuckled, proud of his riddle-solving prowess.

"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. Man, this thinking thing is rough."

"You'll get used to it, sonny."

"So, I'm looking for a vault. Is there anything around here like that?"

"There is a bar called The Vault just down the street. Their bloody marys are superb."

"A bar? I am there." Jigen ran off.

"Gallows," Zenigata said excitedly, that excitement quickly fading. "No, those only hold people." He let out a sigh. "The only other thing I can come up with is a fruit stand, but that's stupid."

Zenigata walked on, staring at the ground as he thought. He never noticed that he walked right by a fruit stand, a sad lonely and dejected Goemon standing there.

Goemon said nothing. It was as he thought: everyone hated him. Example after example was thrust into his face, letting him know what a pathetic excuse of a loser he was. He was now ready to accept that fate.

His so-called friends hated him, the movie writers hated him, and even Monkey Punch only saw him as just a samurai.

He now wondered why he spent the last hour rewriting the riddle he was given to better suit his interests.

With a diminished sigh and crushed dreams he walked off, dragging his feet as lifeless eyes stared at the ground that held more importance than he did.

Jigen walked into the bar and saw Fujiko sitting at a table, alone and sipping some fancy girly drink. "Now's my chance," Jigen mumbled to himself.

Fujiko looked up as he approached her. "Great, I'm supposed to help you?"

"Fujiko, I have something to say to you. Something... something I've never once said before."

Fujiko watched in confusion as the man she despised sat down across from her and grabbed her hands in his.

"Fujiko, I love you," Jigen said with much conviction. "I know it may not seem like it and I always treated you so horribly, but that was because I cared so much about you and couldn't admit it to myself, nor to the world, as this undying devotion I have had since the first time our eyes met is much too powerful a thing for one man to take on, let alone the world to have to bear."

Fujiko gasped as she leaned back. Never had anyone spoke so powerfully to her about such things as love.

"Fujiko, I want you to marry me. Please, marry me right now. I cannot take this not having you any longer. Sleep with me, Fujiko! Bare my children!"

The people in the bar began to look on with disgust.

"Jigen, I... I never knew that... that you-"

"Hey, what the hell is this?" Lupin asked in anger as he stomped up to the table.

Jigen glared up at him. "Damn it, what are you doing here? Don't you have women to bang or something?"

"And don't you have stupid riddles to solve? And get your hands off my girlfriend," he said as he smacked Jigen's hands.

"Girlfriend?" Fujiko seethed with anger. "How dare you claim to own me!"

"But, Fu-" He was stopped with a hard slap to the face.

"This man," she said while pointing to Jigen. "This brave and wonderful man has said words to me of which you have never said. All the years I've known you all you can say is "Sleep with me" or words similar to that. You have not once opened up your heart, admitted to yourself what you don't wish to admit, and tell me how much you long for my womb to hold your child!"

"But, Fu-" Another slap to the face.

"Jigen is a wonderful man and will be a wonderful father to my children!"

"Really?" Jigen wondered.

"Pfft, no, of course not." Fujiko sat down and continued to sip on her drink. "I overheard the whole sheep thing. Trust me, it isn't you."

"It's not?"

"Pfft, of course it is!" she laughed. "Like anyone would want to be with you!"

"But, Fu-" Lupin stopped, surprised when he didn't feel the harsh sting of love on his face. "But, Fujiko!"

"What?!"

Lupin paused and stared at her. "I don't know anymore."

Fujiko rolled her eyes, finished her drink and left.

"Hey, what about my riddle?" Jigen wondered.

"Oh, was that the paper they gave me?" Lupin wondered. "I used that to roll a joint in the bathroom. Thought it tasted funny."

Jigen stared at him. "You did that on purpose. I know you did."

Lupin shrugged and ran off after Fujiko.

Zenigata continued walking, all the while contemplating life and the decisions he had made it in.

It was never a good place to be, thinking, no, regretting everything you have ever done since birth.

Zenigata was too deep in thought to see that he was about to walk into a man.

And the man was too deep in thought to see that Zenigata was about to walk into him.

But there they were, on a collision course of destiny, their lives soon to change in a brief moment of contact.

"Oh, excuse me," Zenigata said to the man, who he now saw was Mamou.

"Whatever," Mamou said, not even bothering to look at Zenigata.

"Oh, hey, I bet you're who I'm supposed to see about my next riddle."

"A riddle?" Mamou was not much into this game anymore. "Oh yeah." He fished the paper he was given out of his pocket. "I am an abattoir. What am I?"

"Abattoir. Abattoir." Zenigata thought long and hard.

"I am a slaughterhouse," Mamou said. "What am I?"

"Slaughterhouse..."

Mamou glared at the man. "I am where they kill cows and I am located at 1637 East Swallow Road. Go there now."

"Kill cows..."

Mamou groaned and walked off.

"Wait a second," Zenigata said as it finally hit him. "They're going to kill my mother?" He was not happy, hijacking a car and speeding off to the location.

"A place where time begins and ends," Jigen thought, being given a riddle from Mr. X. "Help is there at the click of a button. And Jell-o."

He was stumped on the Jell-o part until he realized his many memories of eating the stuff after one of his girlfriends was shot or burned half to death is some freak accident.

"Oh, Jell-o! A hospital!" Jigen was proud of himself, running off to the nearby hospital.

"Mother, I'm here!" Zenigata had driven the car into the old unused slaughterhouse and was now standing in the mostly pitch black room.

There was a shuffle in the dark.

Zenigata squinted, straining to see what it was.

A low bleating sound from the corner.

Zenigata stared suspiciously.

Quiet clomping of hooves that progressed quicker.

Zenigata stepped back.

A loud bleat as a sheep lunged out from the darkness.

Zenigata screamed, the sheep landing on him and proceeding to hump his leg. "You're not my mother," was all he could get out as tears of shame fell from his eyes.

The sheep kept it's death grip on his leg, which waved about madly in the air trying to fling the horny beast away.

"You're not my sheep," Jigen said as he pointed at the old woman.

"And you're not my Ko-Ko," the old woman replied with equal amounts of annoyance in her voice.

"Hmm, maybe I read the riddle wrong..."

"What is that you're wearing, young man?" the woman demanded to know. "Are you a pimp?"

Jigen backed away from the woman's death glare.

"You are a disgusting man to hold such an awful profession! How many of these hos do you own, mister?"

Jigen's right eye twitched, the death glare seeping away all life from his soul.

"And why don't you get a haircut, you hippie?" the woman yelled while beating Jigen with her cane. "You people sicken me!"

Jigen whined, the whine turning into a loud scream as he turned and fled from the building.

"When was the last time you ate?" the woman yelled as she followed him, the old nag quite quick for her age. "You're all skin and bones! Does your mother know where you are? Are you married? Do your parents have grandchildren?"

Jigen could only scream in response, but he found no matter how fast he ran and how many corners he turned that the woman was always right behind him.

"How'd you lose her?" Zenigata wondered.

Hours had passed, the two back to the lair, having completed each others task, the sheep and the old woman saved from the evil grasp of Disco Ant.

"I didn't," Jigen sighed. "She's standing outside berating the door."

"Hmm, I thought I heard a familiar sound."

"Ugh, how'd you put up with it," Jigen asked as he sat down at the table and opened a can of beer, which he then guzzled in one drink.

Zenigata shrugged.

"So, what happened to the sheep?"

Zenigata pointed to the pot sitting on the stove.

Jigen gasped. "You didn't!"

"Unfortunately, I couldn't. It ran off after a dog before I could catch it."

"So, what's in the pot?"

"Nothing," Zenigata sighed sadly. "We're out of food. Lupin stopped by while we were out." He tossed Jigen a crumbled up piece of paper.

Jigen didn't bother reading it. "You want take-out?"

"Pizza?"

"Sounds good to me." Jigen grabbed the phone. He made the order and set the phone down.

"So, tomorrow is another day." Zenigata looked over at Jigen.

"Two more days left."

Zenigata nodded. "So, you gonna bring it on, hippie?"

Jigen groaned. He forgot it was the daily dose of cheese they needed to give the viewers. "I'll bring it. In fact, I'll bring so much of it that the word 'it' will be referred to as 'the thing of which Jigen brings'."

"Wow, that was retarded."

"It sure was," Jigen said with a smile, proud to have beaten Zenigata in the 'most retarded thing said' category.

* * *

I'm pretty sure I stole the 'bring it' part. Actually, I did steal it. I found it funny and it stuck with me. So, it's retarded in the funny/dumb type of way. :D And I don't think all the specials/movies are awful. Just most of them. For the reasons Zenigata said. Well, except for the Lupin getting laid part. Although they really should give the guy a break. He's gonna go all psycho killer in Animeland one of these days. I guess what I'm saying is I don't want to see/hear/have to listen to details about him having sex. Seeing his anorexic body is enough to kill my eyes temporarily. Dear artist peoples, either keep their clothes on or put some meat on their bones.


	27. Round Nine Part Two

Huge apologies for taking so long to write this chapter. Nothing came to me until this last week. Hopefully I don't get stuck on the next chapter.

* * *

**Round Nine Part Two**

Loud and piercing alarms rang throughout the lair, startling Jigen and Zenigata from their sleep.

"What the hell is that?" Jigen asked as he looked around.

Zenigata scowled as he scanned the room. "Don't know," he muttered suspiciously.

"What?" Jigen yelled.

"I said I don't know," Zenigata yelled.

"Why not? I thought you knew everything?"

Zenigata stared at him in confusion. Is that the air he gave off? That of a know-it-all?

"Anyway," Jigen said as he got out of bed, "shouldn't Stan be screaming at us by now, telling us what is going on and how to shut off these damn alarms?"

Zenigata opened his mouth and inhaled, ready to scream out his response when the place got silent.

The two looked around as a faint laughter was heard.

"The living room," Jigen said, rushing out of the room.

Zenigata threw off the blankets and followed. He ran down the hall and almost collided with Jigen, who stood still at the entrance of the living room.

He was almost ready to rant angrily when he noticed why Jigen was standing there.

Before them was a mainly empty space, what little furniture was left strewn broken on the floor. The TVs that seemed to be everywhere were now gone, dwindled down to one, which was cracked and hanging half off the wall.

From this TV the laughter sounded from.

Zenigata shoved Jigen out of the way and ran up to the TV, squinting and tilting his head sideways as he tried to make out the image.

"Not-So-Super-Heroes," a voice cackled.

"Disco Ant!" Zenigata's hands balled up into tight fists as he began to shake in anger.

Jigen wandered up and stared over Zenigata's shoulder.

""So, did you two enjoy your romantic pizza dinner?" Disco Ant laughed.

"How'd you know we had pizza?" Zenigata yelled.

Just then a broken image of Metal Moth appeared. He was dressed in a pizza delivery outfit and holding a pizza box.

"Two large with everything and one medium with double cheese and double pepperoni?" Metal Moth said as he laughed.

"Hey, that was our order," Jigen said.

"And did your pizzas taste special?" Disco Ant cackled. "We added a little something extra."

"That was why we didn't wake up," Zenigata muttered.

"You drugged us?" Jigen wondered. "Hey, could I get the name of the stuff you used? I haven't felt that good in a long time."

Disco Ant could only glare, though his face being right where a large crack was neither Jigen nor Zenigata could see his angered expression.

"What do you want with us?" Zenigata asked, trying to get the whole superhero thing down and falling a little flat, as his question made no sense.

Disco Ant and Metal Moth glanced at each other with blank expressions. They then looked ahead at Jigen.

Jigen shrugged. "Don't ask me."

"Ahem, anyway." Disco Ant sat a little straighter in his cushy leather office chair. "Since you two won't be needing your lair for much longer I figured I'd take advantage of the situation. My lair did need some new TVs. And these ones are pretty nice. The furniture was great, too, although the couch has this odd smell to it."

"Naked cowboy," Jigen reminded.

Zenigata sighed in annoyance.

"Oh god," Disco Ant shrieked in horror. "I had forgotten all about that!"

"How?" Jigen muttered.

"Metal Moth," Disco Ant yelled. "Burn the couch! And then burn the ashes!"

Metal Moth saluted and ran off.

"So, where was I?" Disco Ant adjusted his jacket and tie. "Oh yes. I have a surprise for you. Meet me at 1792 East 62nd Street, Suite 34F. I'll see you when you get here."

There was a loud and evil laugh and then the screen went dark.

Jigen glanced around. "Oh thank god he took that photo."

Zenigata glanced back to where Jigen was looking. "What photo?"

"The one with the guy dressed in tights." Jigen shuddered. "I hated being greeted every morning by a guys junk that was magnified by two. Thing gave me nightmares..."

Zenigata didn't want to know. And since he had never even noticed the photo he just shrugged and went on with life.

"Superheroes!" Stan said on the one lonely and broken TV. "My gosh! What happened there?"

"Disco Ant," both Jigen and Zenigata said with no enthusiasm.

"Oh, that evil menace! He must be stopped at once!"

"Actually, Stan," Jigen sighed, "Disco Ant wants us to meet him, so if you don't mind, we need to get ready and leave."

"Any advice?" Zenigata asked Stan.

Stan thought for a few seconds. "Nope, not really. Just go out there and excelsior. Excelsior, my friends!"

The TV went dark.

Zenigata glanced around in much confusion. "So, what'd you-" He looked back to see he was alone, Jigen already in the bathroom getting ready. Zenigata sighed and shuffled off.

Jigen and Zenigata sat in the back seat of the SUV as they were being carted off to the address they were given. The two faced each other and played a hand clapping game as they both sang.

"Lemonade, crunchy ice, sip it once, sip it twice. Lemonade, crunchy ice, made it once, made it-"

"Excuse me, superheroes," the driver said while rolling his eyes. "I do believe we have reached the meeting location."

Jigen and Zenigata glanced out the window, their eyes gazing up at the tall building before them.

"Very well," Zenigata said as he opened the door. "We can finish this game later."

Jigen nodded and followed him out of the car.

"We're all doomed," the driver sighed as he drove off.

Zenigata led the way as he violently shoved open the two large and heavy glass doors that led to the lobby. "Disco Ant," he screamed.

Jigen followed and continued on, passing Zenigata and making his way to a piece of paper tacked to the small ficus tree in front of him.

"What's that?" Zenigata wondered.

Jigen handed the paper back at him and started towards the elevator.

"Lupin?" Zenigata growled, recognizing the writing. He rushed forward and got onto the elevator with Jigen, the two making their way to the twentieth floor.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened to a small lobby. Facing them was Lupin as he sat in a chair, a smirk on his face as he saw them.

Zenigata was irate and wanted to twist the man's head off.

Jigen couldn't care less, but was curious.

"'Bout time you guys got here," Lupin muttered. "Get lost or something?"

Zenigata growled, too angry to say, or scream, anything.

"So, what's in it for you?" Jigen wondered.

Lupin sighed with a stupid look on his face. "Disco Ant promised me movies where I can bang any woman I want."

"You mean, like porn." Jigen mentally shuddered. The world did not need Lupin porn.

Lupin nodded happily. "And so, you'll have to defeat me if you want to get to Disco Ant."

"And why is that?" Jigen wondered.

"Because he's on the roof with his finished weapon and I have the only key to the special elevator that goes right to the roof."

"I could easily hotwire the elevator," Jigen shrugged.

"What?" Lupin whined. "Come on, Jigen. Stop ruining things!"

Zenigata let out a loud growl and lunged towards Lupin, whose image disappeared.

"Hologram, how shocking," Jigen sighed, not amused by the stale tactics. He reached back for his gun and shot blindly to the side, the bullet piercing a panel in the wall.

"Are you insane?" Lupin yelled as he shoved the panel that he had been hiding behind away. "You could have killed me!"

Jigen shrugged. "Look, me and Zenigata have a game of Lemonade, Crunchy Ice to finish, so if we can hurry this fight along..."

Lupin could only stare at the man.

"I'm not explaining," Jigen said loudly. "Are we gonna fight or not?"

Lupin smirked and the lights went out. Flashes and bangs went off in the room. Growls and yells were heard.

A loud grumble and a squeaky escape of gas was heard.

"Damn it, Goemon," Lupin said as he gasped for breath. "What exactly are you eating?!"

"Goemon's here?" Zenigata wondered, not at all bothered by the putrid stench that was thick in the room.

"I apologize," Goemon muttered embarrassingly.

Jigen could not talk, as he was writhing on the floor and gasping for breath.

The lights went on and Lupin and Goemon stood together.

Zenigata found himself handcuffed to the bars inside the elevator. "Huh?" He yanked his hand, trying to free himself. He looked up as Lupin smiled and waved, the elevator doors then beginning to close. "Hey, wait! Lupin!"

"Well, now that he's gone..." Lupin grinned and walked towards Jigen, offering him a hand.

Jigen looked up and took it, getting pulled off the floor.

"Together again," Lupin said as he wrapped one arm around Jigen's shoulders and one around Goemon's. "What say we go out and get drunk?"

"What about your porn career?" Jigen wondered.

"Pfft, I just made that up. Disco Ant offered me a million dollars to help him, so I went along with it. Can you believe that guy? A million? I can steal more than that in five minutes." Lupin rolled his eyes at the nerve of such offers.

"Look, I have this stupid game to play, so why don't you just give me the key so I can get this over with."

"I don't have the key. I gave it to Zenigata before I put him on the elevator."

"You what?!" Jigen was ready to beat the crap out of Lupin.

Lupin backed off. "What? That way he can win and you can lose and we can go back to stealing stuff."

"You sent him up to fight Disco Ant alone, Lupin! That's what!"

"I thought you said this was a game, so who cares, right?" Lupin shrugged.

Jigen grabbed Lupin by the lapels of his jacket and got in his face. "Disco Ant is psychotic and keeps trying to kill us, remember?! Like, really trying to kill us! He isn't playing a game!"

Lupin stared off in thought. "Oh yeah."

"You don't even need a key to get to the roof," Goemon spoke up. "It just automatically goes there."

Jigen glanced over at Goemon with a look of disbelief. "And you couldn't tell me this sooner?!"

Goemon shrugged.

Jigen could only sigh as he rushed off and got onto the elevator.

Meanwhile, on the roof...

Disco Ant laughed evilly as he faced off with a slightly beaten up Zenigata.

Zenigata panted while wiping the trickle of blood from his mouth.

Metal Moth, having lost his round and his chance to show what he was made of, layed on the roof behind Zenigata and moaned in pain.

The door to the elevator opened and Jigen rushed out. Not really seeing Metal Moth he tripped over the injured man and fell flat on his face.

"Ow," Metal Moth whined.

Zenigata glanced back to look at Jigen. When he turned to face Disco Ant he was quickly met with a very hard metal object to the face.

Disco Ant cackled loudly as Zenigata fell unconscious to the roof. "I have won! The world is mine to destroy!"

His cackles were replaced by a loud "Oof" as he found Metal Moth's limp body slamming into his chest.

Jigen, having escaped his mishap with a few scrapes, rushed over to Zenigata after having tossed Metal Moth aside in rage, never really intending to throw him at Disco Ant. That was just an odd stroke of luck.

Zenigata groaned as he rose up and sat on the roof.

"Oh god, what happened to your face?" Jigen wondered as he stared in horror at it. That look was replaced by one of realization. "Oh yeah, it normally looks like that. Nevermind."

Zenigata tensed with anger.

"Who threw that?!" Disco Ant demanded after shoving Metal Moth off of him. He jumped to his feet and glared at the two superheroes.

Zenigata pointed at Jigen.

Disco Ant growled and, quicker than Jigen was ready for, pounced on the pimp, the two flying to the roof.

Seeing this as an opportunity to do some good, Zenigata got to his feet and ran to the machine, looking over the controls.

Zenigata figured the machine was fake, but it looked too real for it to be so. He hit some buttons on the panel before him, the machine buzzing.

"Who's touching my baby?!" Disco Ant demanded, taking a small break from beating on Jigen's face. "You people and your wandering hands!" He got up off of Jigen and stomped towards Zenigata.

Zenigata stared at the machine, perplexed by all the buttons and flashing lights. He hit a couple of more buttons and the large gun on the machine went off, a blast of invisible energy hitting a nearby building and blowing a hole through it.

Zenigata stared in shock at the hole and quietly walked away from the machine.

"You jerk," Disco Ant yelled. "Now I'm gonna get blamed for that!"

Zenigata made no reply. "Nothing happened!" he quickly said to Jigen, who stood and stared at him.

Jigen was confused.

Disco Ant groaned in frustration as he hit desperately the buttons. "What did you do to my precious child, you molester," he screamed.

"You're molesting kids now?" Jigen asked in disgust as he backed away from Zenigata.

"He's talking about the weapon, you moron," Zenigata yelled.

"First couches and now weapons? What's next?"

"I did not molest a couch," Zenigata screamed.

Lupin, having just arrived on the roof, laughed at this. "Yeah you did. I recorded it if you want to see."

"Why would you record that?" Jigen asked.

Lupin shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

"What are you doing up here anyway?" Jigen wondered.

Disco Ant, having gotten the weapon under control, cackled madly.

The three just stared at him.

"I'm here to fix things," Lupin answered.

"Fix things?" Jigen asked.

Lupin glared at him. He then reached into his jacket and pulled out handcuffs, a gun and a badge. "Here," he said, handing the items to Zenigata.

Zenigata took the items and stared down at them.

"You aren't some superhero with an secret identity bent on saving the world from psychotic power hungry weirdos," Lupin said. "You're a cop. So, be a cop and arrest Disco Ant for crimes of being... him, I guess."

Zenigata stared seriously at Lupin and nodded. He turned and walked towards Disco Ant.

"And you," Lupin said as he turned to Jigen. "You are my friend and the best gunman the worlds ever known." He took the pimp hat off Jigen's head and replaced it with his usual fedora. "Stop trying to save the world and let's go steal something and have fun."

Jigen grinned and nodded. He shed the pimp jacket he wore and reached back, grabbing his gun and aiming it at the machine. With a single shot the machine was ruined.

"My baby," Disco Ant screamed as Zenigata led him away in handcuffs. "You shot my baby!"

"Good riddance," Metal Moth said with a sigh.

Lupin and Jigen turned to look at him.

He had shed his disguise and was a normal looking man in glasses and a nice suit. He straightened his tie and tugged on his jacket.

"Wow, you look so... normal," Lupin said as he stared at the man.

The man smiled and shrugged. "I'm actually one of the accountants at the network. I only played the evil sidekick because the network was in desperate need of someone and promised me a nice paycheck. Yacht, here I come," he said happily, laughing as walked off.

"I wonder who Disco Ant is, then," Lupin said.

"Who knows," Jigen shrugged. "And who cares. Let's get out of here."

Lupin smiled and nodded, the two leaving the roof together.

They stepped off the elevator on the first floor and walked through the lobby. When they opened the front doors they were greeted by a cheering crowd.

"Jigen," Stan said as he walked towards him. "Congratulations on the fine job. The people of this city thank you."

The crowd cheered louder.

Zenigata, now in his usual work clothes, stepped away from a police car as it began to drive off, Disco Ant still sobbing about his baby as he sat in the back seat. He turned and walked towards Stan.

Stan spotted him and smiled. "Good work, Inspector," he said while shaking Zenigata's hand.

"And what about me?" Lupin wondered.

Stan glared at him. "You were kicked off the show," he said while shoving Lupin off into the crowd of cheering people.

Lupin was not pleased.

"Thanks to your bravery," Stan said to Zenigata and Jigen,, "this city, well, most of it, has been saved by the evils of Disco Ant. Tonight we will have a big celebration in which I will decide who will win the grand prize."

Stan then stood between the two finalists as they all faced the crowd, who somehow cheered even more wildly than before.

* * *

It is now time to decide who should win. Yay! The winner will get their own awesome cheesy superhero chapter. :D


End file.
